Healthy Relationships 101 Part 1 of 2 Student

Healthy Relationships 101 Part 1 of 2 Student Health & Human Services Office of Human Relations, Diversity & Equity September 2020

If you were stuck on an island could only have one person with you, who would it be and why?

Workshop Norms What we do here, what we say here, stays here Be respectful of the thoughts and opinions of others Please use the names and pronouns people have listed Throw glitter, not shade One diva, one mic

Objectives 1 Identify aspects of a healthy relationship 2 Discuss abuse in relationships 3 Learn about conflict resolution 4 Learn some healthy dating tips

Is My Relationship Healthy? • Your relationship should be a safe place where you are free to be yourself. • Healthy LGBTQ relationships are often characterized by how resilient, creative and unique they are.

Signs of A Healthy Relationship Treat you with respect Respect your chosen gender pronouns and/or name Respect your boundaries Don't take your money or tell you what to buy Never threaten to out you to people Never tell you're not a real lesbian, gay man, trans person or whatever you identify as. Proud of your accomplishments and successes Don’t require you to check in or know where you are at all times

Signs of A Healthy Relationship Caring and honest Don’t pressure you to do things you don't want to do Encourage you to do well at school/work Don't accuse you of cheating or being unfaithful Don’t threaten you or make you feel scared Don’t make fun of things you like or want to do Understand the importance of a healthy relationship

Signs of A Healthy Relationship Never put you down Don’t get angry if you spend time with your friends or family Shares some of your interests such as movies, sports, reading, dancing or music Listen to your ideas and compromise sometimes Aren’t afraid to share their thoughts & feelings Isn’t excessively negative Comfortable around your friends and family

Time to Share WHAT ARE THE 2 MOST IMPORTANT QUALITIES YOU LOOK FOR IN SOMEONE YOU WANT TO DATE? WHAT ARE 2 QUALITIES THAT WOULD MAKE YOU RUN FOR THE HILLS

Power & Control • The need for power and control in a relationship often leads to abuse.

What Does Abuse Look Like? • • • Physical Emotional/ Verbal Sexual Digital Stalking/ Verbal • Digital • Stalking

Abuse Physical: threatening to harm or harming you in any way Sexual: attempting to or forcing any sexual act on you Digital abuse: using social media to harm you; pressuring you to send or sending you inappropriate pictures Emotional/verbal abuse: controlling your clothes, behavior, your relationships, and degrading you Stalking: showing up at places that they know you frequent, without asking you first

Consent Is Classic

Time to Share • What is one thing that you learned about healthy relationships? • One thing you learned about power & control in relationships?

Check Out: Would you rather. . . Swim with dolphins Swim with sharks

QUESTIONS CONCERNS NEXT WEEK: HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS 101 PT. 2

If you or someone you know has been hurt or sexually assaulted, call • Peace Over Violence: Central LA: 213 -626 -3396; South LA: 310 -392 -8381; Pasadena/West San Gabriel Valley: 626 -793 -3385 • National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1 -800 -656 -HOPE (4673) • California Youth Crisis Line: 1 -800 -843 -5200 • Rape Treatment Center UCLA: 424 -259 -7208

LAUSD Resources • LAUSD School Mental Health Hotline: 213. 241. 3840 • Human Relations, Diversity & Equity: 213. 505. 4744

Brought to you by Student Health & Human Services Office of Human Relations, Diversity & Equity Talia Guppy, LCSW, M. Ed. PPSC MH Practitioner Talia. guppy@lausd. net 213. 725. 5600 ext. 1479

Healthy Relationships 101 Part 2 Student Health & Human Services Office of Human Relations, Diversity & Equity

Check in If you could create a business of any kind, what would it be and why?

Workshop Norms What we do here, what we say here, stays here Be respectful of the thoughts and opinions of others Please use the names and pronouns people have listed

Healthy Boundaries Wait to say “I love you” until you’re ready Make sure you take time apart from each other Take your time getting physical Keep passwords private Ask: Is it ok to tag you on social media? Beware of sending pics and sexting Is it ok to friend or follow your friends? When is it okay to text you? Is it okay to tweet or post about our relationship?

Unique Considerations for LGBTQ+ Teens One person in the relationship is out and the other is not (to friends and/or family) Families are not accepting of the relationship due to sexual minority or gender identity status Roles and gender stereotypes Inability to show affection Being affectionate may put them in danger of victimization Smaller dating pool

Conflict Resolution: Fair fighting 1 Set boundaries: even when you’re fighting 2 3 Focus on the real issue, not about previous things or things that haven’t even happened Agree to disagree. you don’t have to agree to end the fight 4 Compromise when possible 5 See it from their perspective: contexts, situations, people involved

Time to Share • What is on healthy boundary that you can commit to in your relationship or when you are starting a relationship? • What do you think about fair fighting?

Dating Tips: How Do You Do It Safely? Trust your gut. Look for signs like prolonged eye contact and a desire for proximity. Find a polite and respectful way to tell your crush that you're interested. Be Be aware of your surroundings, including who is around and where you are

Online Dating 1 Do not share personal information or home address. 2 Only meet in public places, until you are absolutely certain this person is who they say they are. 3 Take someone with you to meet them the first few times 4 Let a trusted friend know where and when you are meeting this person, just in case

Time to Share Are there any other tips you can share about safely dating, online or in person?

Check out: Would you rather. . . LIVE IN A TINY HOUSE WITH YOUR WHOLE FAMILY LIVE IN A HUGE ESTATE BUT BE ALONE ALL THE TIME

Questions Concerns Next Week: What Do I Say?

Brought to you by Student Health & Human Services Office of Human Relations, Diversity & Equity Talia Guppy, LCSW, M. Ed. PPSC MH Practitioner Talia. guppy@lausd. net 213. 725. 5600 ext. 1479