Healing for the Attachment Challenged Angry and Defiant

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Healing for the Attachment Challenged, Angry and Defiant Child Bryan Post © 2008 The

Healing for the Attachment Challenged, Angry and Defiant Child Bryan Post © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com 1

3 Pathways of Emotional Expression Attitudes Feelings Behaviors Trauma Triangle Anger © 2008 The

3 Pathways of Emotional Expression Attitudes Feelings Behaviors Trauma Triangle Anger © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com Depression © 2009 B. Bryan Post

Critical areas of the brain for love and attachment Hypothalamus (Oxytocin Response) Hippocampus (Short-term

Critical areas of the brain for love and attachment Hypothalamus (Oxytocin Response) Hippocampus (Short-term Memory) Orbitofrontal Cortex (Social/Emotional Control Center) Pituitary Gland Amygdala (Fight, Flight, or Freeze) Neural Circuitry Adrenal Glands © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com Brain Stem (Lower Limbic/Reptilian) Spinal Cord 3

Understanding Oxytocin n Best available layperson reference on oxytocin is The Chemistry of Connection

Understanding Oxytocin n Best available layperson reference on oxytocin is The Chemistry of Connection by Susan Kuchinskas (*special offer to follow later!) n Oxytocin is known as the anti-stress hormone n Swedish Scientist Kerstin Moberg, MD, author of The Oxytocin Factor, dubbed oxytocin the “calm and connection system” n The Oxytocin Response is use-dependent n It is essential to the development of effective self-regulation n Tremendous oxytocin release occurs during orgasm which presents its own challenges to sexual acting out. n Science is just now beginning to discover all of the implications for this hormone as it relates to human relationships © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com 4

How to Trigger it… n In The Chemistry of Connection Susan Kuchinskas offers a

How to Trigger it… n In The Chemistry of Connection Susan Kuchinskas offers a very simple checklist of activities for triggering oxytocin: n n n Offer a sweet kiss Share a warm hug Cuddle Make Love Have an orgasm Sing in a choir Give someone a neck rub Hold a baby Stroke a dog or cat Perform a generous act Prayer Root for your team n And More… n Make eye contact n Breathe n Practice Mindfulness n Listen without judgment n Positive touch n Proximity n Play-Wrestle-Laugh-Dance n Think loving thoughts n Smile (Kuchinskas 2009) © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com 5

© 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com 6

© 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com 6

Behavior Love It is through the expression, processing, and understanding of the Fear that

Behavior Love It is through the expression, processing, and understanding of the Fear that we calm the stress and diminish the behavior. Fear Emotions Stress Triggering Sensory Event www. postinstitute. com © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com

Two important terms – Regulation & Dysregulation The ability to experience and maintain stress

Two important terms – Regulation & Dysregulation The ability to experience and maintain stress within ones window of tolerance. Generally referred to as being calm, focused, or relaxed. This term is utilized by literally every scientific discipline. The experience of stress outside of ones window of tolerance. Generally referred to as being stressed out, or in a state of distress. It is believed that affect dysregulation is a fundamental mechanism involved in all psychiatric disorders (Taylor et al, 1997. ) © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com 8

Trauma and Memory “If all we do is focus and become consumed with diminishing,

Trauma and Memory “If all we do is focus and become consumed with diminishing, reducing, changing, controlling, suppressing the behavior what we’re going to be doing is ignoring everything underneath of it. ” Bryan Post © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com 9

Traumatic Events Common with Regulatory Difficulties n Abuse n Neglect n Adoption and Foster

Traumatic Events Common with Regulatory Difficulties n Abuse n Neglect n Adoption and Foster Care n Frequent Moves n Chronic Pain n Emotional Absence n Parental Depression n Needs Left Unmet © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com 10

The four levels of memory n Cognitive n Emotional n Motor n State ©

The four levels of memory n Cognitive n Emotional n Motor n State © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com 11

State level of memory, cont. n Your earliest memory to develop n Associated with

State level of memory, cont. n Your earliest memory to develop n Associated with your personality traits Cognitive n Where you store your personality Emotional n Highly unconscious n Typically your childhood Motor Trauma is Buried at the State Level, which directs all other responses! State © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com 12

Techniques for addressing challenging behaviors in attachment challenged children “Any therapy or technique that

Techniques for addressing challenging behaviors in attachment challenged children “Any therapy or technique that is confrontational, aggressive, threatening blaming or fear based will ultimately not be effective for creating healing environments for attachment challenged Children. ” Bryan Post © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com 13

Principles of Family-Centered Regulatory Therapy n Stress Impacts all members of the family. n

Principles of Family-Centered Regulatory Therapy n Stress Impacts all members of the family. n Parents establish the foundation of the family n Treatment impacting a child is initiated within the family unit, beginning with the parents. n The therapeutic environment is the primary catalyst to healing. n Assessment incorporates generational family dynamic. © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com

Principles of Family-Centered Regulatory Therapy cont. n Diagnosis does not dictate treatment focus, outcome,

Principles of Family-Centered Regulatory Therapy cont. n Diagnosis does not dictate treatment focus, outcome, or prognosis. n The therapist’s “state” creates the foundation for trust and emotional security. n Parental regulation is the single greatest factor in the maintenance and on-going regulation of children. n Family behaviors and psychic dynamics are rooted in stress both past and present. n Validating the emotional belief of the client is more important than establishing therapist’s belief. © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com

Principles of Family-Centered Regulatory Therapy cont. n The primary motive of healing is reflected

Principles of Family-Centered Regulatory Therapy cont. n The primary motive of healing is reflected in the ups and downs of behavior change but not determined by it. n The Family-Centered Therapist serves as guide, support, secure base (Bowlby, 1969), and advocate. n Examining and encountering Fear-based emotional states is both necessary and preferable. n Focus on Integration over resolution © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com

Principles of Family-Centered Regulatory Therapy cont. n Families are innately equipped to create and

Principles of Family-Centered Regulatory Therapy cont. n Families are innately equipped to create and perform their own healing rituals. n The Family-Centered Regulatory therapist strives to be mindful of their own “family-based states” which may create impediments to to the families process. © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com

16 Reasons You Should Join the POST Inner Circle Today! n The first 20

16 Reasons You Should Join the POST Inner Circle Today! n The first 20 people to join Bryan n Family Centered Regulatory Therapy Post’s Inner Circle today will receive part 1 and 2 the 16 Week A to Z Family Centered Blueprint Webinar Course ($997 value n Ethics of Touch in Psychotherapy program created for parents and n Family Centered Regulatory Parenting professionals) part 1 and 2 n Course Includes: n Dealing with Challenging Behaviors n Introduction to Attachment and Beyond n Regulation in the Classroom n The Psychology of Regulation n The Impact of Stress on Development and the Brain n Understanding Trauma and Memory n Diagnosis n Medication n The A to Z Review n Everything Bryan Post from 10 years of research, clinical experience, and life’s journey n Sign up for only $2. 95 ; after the first 30 days monthly membership is $29. 95 n Cancel at any time. To Sign Up Complete the Yellow Form or Go to : www. postinnercircle. com © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com

RESPONSIBILITY REACTIVITY Death Penalty Perfect Love Exploring the Parenting Continuum <100+> 10+ 9+ 8+

RESPONSIBILITY REACTIVITY Death Penalty Perfect Love Exploring the Parenting Continuum <100+> 10+ 9+ 8+ 7+ 6+ 5+ 4+ 3+ 2+ 1+ + 0 - -1 -2 -3 -4 -5 -6 -7 -8 -9 -10 <-100> LOVE FEAR §Time-In §Time-Out §Containment §Isolation §Guidance §Spanking §Understanding §Consequences §Emotional Processing §Behavior Modification §Breathing §Yelling §Patience §Physical Tactics §Affection §Medication rather than §Discipline © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com modification 19

There are negative and positive feedback loops Negative Neurophysiologic Feedback Loop Teacher/Parent © 2008

There are negative and positive feedback loops Negative Neurophysiologic Feedback Loop Teacher/Parent © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com Child 20

Exploring the Hidden Communication Positive Neurophysiologic Feedback Loop Teacher/Parent B, D, F, H H

Exploring the Hidden Communication Positive Neurophysiologic Feedback Loop Teacher/Parent B, D, F, H H G F E D C B A www. postinstitute. com © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com Child A, C, E, G

Common Behavior or Symptom of Dysregulation? © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute.

Common Behavior or Symptom of Dysregulation? © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com

Common Behavior or Symptom of Dysregulation? © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute.

Common Behavior or Symptom of Dysregulation? © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com

Common Behavior or Symptom of Dysregulation? © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute.

Common Behavior or Symptom of Dysregulation? © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com

Common Behavior or Symptom of Dysregulation? © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute.

Common Behavior or Symptom of Dysregulation? © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com

Common Behavior or Symptom of Dysregulation? © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute.

Common Behavior or Symptom of Dysregulation? © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com

– Final thoughts… “If you always do what you’ve always done, you always be

– Final thoughts… “If you always do what you’ve always done, you always be where you’ve already been. ” Bishop T. D. Jakes © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com 27

Finally let us love not in word or speech, but in truth and action

Finally let us love not in word or speech, but in truth and action “Focus on healing because healing allows you all the mistakes you need to make. So go out there and give it a shot. Expect to mess up, look at it and try to see the fear, try to see the stress, it’s there. ” Bryan Post © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com 28

For more information please contact us at… Post Institute & Associates LLC 2819 Haden

For more information please contact us at… Post Institute & Associates LLC 2819 Haden Martin Road Palmyra, VA 22963 Office: (434)589 -8828 Toll Free: (866) 848 -POST Fax: (434)591 -0176 [email protected] com www. postinstitute. com © 2008 The Post Institute – www. postinstitute. com 29