HANDLING CONFLICT HOW DO YOU HANDLE CONFLICT HOW

HANDLING CONFLICT HOW DO YOU HANDLE CONFLICT? HOW DO YOU HANDLE CONFLICT IN THE WORKPLACE?

3 MAIN REASONS OF CONFLICT w LIMITED RESOURCES w PERSONAL NEEDS w DIFFERENT VALUES

DIFFERENT VALUES w EXAMPLE n n n GOSSIPPING ASKED TO LIE TO COVER UP EXTRA LONG BREAKS BORROWING SUPPLIES NOT RETURNING THINGS

LIMITED RESOURCES w EXAMPLE n n n ONLY ONE PROMOTION AVAILABLE CORNER OFFICE SHARING COMPUTER

PERSONAL NEEDS w EXAMPLE n n VACATION TIME SOMEONE MUST WORK LATE / EARLY SOMEONE NOT PULLING THEIR WEIGHT SHARING AN OFFICE – TEMPERATURE CONTROL l LOUD l NOT WORKING l

WHY DO WE BEHAVE A CERTAIN WAY? w w HABIT LEARNED BEHAVIOUR BELIEF SYSTEM – “I MUST WIN” VARIATIONS IN: n n MOOD SETTING RELATIONSHIP SIGNIFICANCE OF CONFLICT

CONFLICT ESCALATOR 1. AVOIDING EACH OTHER 2. ANGRY LOOKS AND POSTURING 3. ARGUE INTENSELY / EMOTIONALLY 4. INSULTING REMARKS 5. FIGHTING

3 WAYS TO HANDLE CONFLICT 1. FIGHT – AGGRESSIVE 2. FLIGHT – PASSIVE 3. FLOW - ASSERTIVE

FIGHT I WIN – YOU LOSE w HOW DO YOU ACT w SCREAM w VIOLENCE w DON’T LISTEN w THINKING w I’M RIGHT w YOU’RE WRONG w BLAME/PUNISH w I’M OK w YOU’RE NOT

FLIGHT I LOSE – YOU WIN w HOW DO YOU ACT w SULKING w CRYING w GIVE IN w PRETEND IT DIDN’T HAPPEN w THINKING w WANT PEACE w AVOID CONFLICT w LET THEM WIN w I’M NOT OK

FLOW (ASSERTIVE) I’M OK – YOU’RE OK w HOW DO YOU ACT w THINKING w WANT TO SOLVE w DISCUSS PROBLEM w LISTEN w RESPECT OTHERS w TAKE TIME OUT w SORT THROUGH w EXPLAIN PROBLEM w COMPROMISE

RESOLVING CONFLICT w WORK IT OUT TOGETHER n n THINK OF IT AS A MUTUAL PROBLEM FIND COMMON GROUND / INTERESTS BE WILLING TO COOPERATE’ BE WILLING TO GIVE AND GET

RESOLVING CONFLICT w SPOTLIGHT THE PROBLEM n n FOCUS ON THE PROBLEM DON’T MAKE IT PERSONAL NOT A COMPETITION LOOK FOR SOLUTIONS

RESOLVING CONFLICT w EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION n n n BE CAREFUL OF NON VERBAL MESSAGES AVOID BEING FORCEFUL WHEN YOUR MESSAGE IS NOT “WINNING” AVOID THREATS

RESOLVING CONFLICT w TAKE A TIME OUT n n n ALLOWS ONE TO “COOL DOWN” ALLOWS FOR TIME TO THINK ALLOWS FOR PERSPECTIVE COME BACK WITH LOGIC / RATIONALE COME BACK WITH HUMOUR

RESOLVING CONFLICT w GO FOR WIN – WIN SOLUTIONS n n n COLLABORATE ON SOLUTIONS LOOK FOR WAYS THAT BENEFIT ALL NEGOTIATE AND COMPROMISE

RESOLVING CONFLICT w KNOW WHEN TO LET GO n n IS THE BATTLE WORTH IT? ONCE A SOLUTION IS DECIDED ON – LEARN TO ACCEPT AND MOVE ON AGREE TO DISAGREE LETTING GO AND BUILD RESPECT AND RELATIONSHIPS

“I” STATEMENTS w USE “I” STATEMENTS INSTEAD OF ATTACKING n n n I AM FRUSTRATED WHEN THE JOB IS NOT COMPLETED ON TIME I DON’T FEEL RESPECTED WHEN MY OPINION IS NOT HEARD WHEN I’M INTERUPTED I FEEL LIKE YOU DON’T RESPECT MY OPINION