Fun with Diction and Syntax not really Concrete

Concrete Nouns Not Concrete • • • Pride Love Enthusiasm Respect Attitude Concrete •

Specific Nouns General Animal More Specific Dog Person Woman Apparel Shoe Most Specific Golden

Getting rid of SOB verbs • Sometimes you can just take them out with

Getting rid of SOB verbs • But usually, you will have to do a

Getting rid of SOB verbs • Be sure the sentence isn’t passive. If it

Passive v. Active Voice • Passive Voice: • The car washed by Joe. •

Getting rid of SOB verbs • Change the tense of your vignettes from past

Getting rid of SOB verbs • Rewrite the sentence (look for modifiers or even

Using Modifiers sparingly • If you have strong nouns (specific, concrete) and verbs (specific

Using modifiers sparingly… • Charles slowly and with attitude walked into the room. •

Using modifiers sparingly… • The sweetly fragrant flora of the garden were beautiful and

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Fun with Diction and Syntax! (not really)

Concrete Nouns Not Concrete • • • Pride Love Enthusiasm Respect Attitude Concrete • • • Table Thunder Gasoline Vanilla Fur

Specific Nouns General Animal More Specific Dog Person Woman Apparel Shoe Most Specific Golden Retriever Mrs. Martin Ugg Boots

Getting rid of SOB verbs • Sometimes you can just take them out with easy adjustments… • He was walking slowly along the path. • He walked slowly along the path.

Getting rid of SOB verbs • But usually, you will have to do a little more work. For example, all of these are stupid. . • She was outgoing and talkative. • She outgoes and talks. • She lives outgoing and talkative.

Getting rid of SOB verbs • Be sure the sentence isn’t passive. If it is, change it to active voice: • The car washed by Joe. • Joe washed the car.

Passive v. Active Voice • Passive Voice: • The car washed by Joe. • (The subject is having the action done to it) • Active Voice: • Joe washed the car. • (The subject is doing the action) In general, you should use the ACTIVE voice! It makes your writing more powerful.

Getting rid of SOB verbs • Change the tense of your vignettes from past to present: • He was walking slowly along the path. • He walks slowly along the path. BE CAREFUL! If you change to present tense, make sure you are consistent!

Getting rid of SOB verbs • Rewrite the sentence (look for modifiers or even nouns that could be verbs) • She was outgoing and talkative. • She chatted happily with anyone. • He was a boring lecturer. • He lectured until our eyes glazed over.

Using Modifiers sparingly • If you have strong nouns (specific, concrete) and verbs (specific action), you should need few modifiers. Too many modifiers means either your nouns and verbs are weak or that you are overwriting…

Using modifiers sparingly… • Charles slowly and with attitude walked into the room. • Charles sauntered into the room. • Cammie abruptly and harshly touched the head of the small, curly haired dog with floppy ears. • Cammie rapped the poodle’s head.

Using modifiers sparingly… • The sweetly fragrant flora of the garden were beautiful and perfect crimson, burgundy, and hot pink damasked cups on long, dark stems with sinister, clandestine spikes of pain. • The roses in the garden were dark red.