Forgive ForgetCan It Be Done And be kind

Forgive & Forget-Can It Be Done And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Eph. 4: 32

Forgive & Forget-Can It Be Done • Forgiveness is one of those Christian virtues most revered. It is a hallmark; a staple of Christian life. • It is one of the things Jesus is known for, and one of the things that got him in trouble with religious leaders. They said, forgiveness of sins is only something God can do, after all. And on the Sabbath! For shame. • As such, the church has always lifted up forgiveness as one of those actions we most treasure and are most called to show others. It’s a wonderful concept; an honorable act.

Forgive & Forget-Can It Be Done Is it easy to forgive and forget?

Forgive & Forget-Can It Be Done • Peter seemed to have some notion of the difficulty to forgive. His question tries to quantify forgiveness. • He tries to set a limit, a minimum requirement. When is enough forgiveness truly enough? • He probably thought he was being generous by suggesting seven. It’s the perfect number, after all. Surely, seven would be enough.

Forgive & Forget-Can It Be Done • ‘Not seven, but seventy-seven (or seventy times seven). ’ Jesus implies that forgiveness is beyond quantification. You don’t stop at seven, if it still hasn’t ‘taken. ’ • It’s something that cannot be measured. That’s part of the scandal and the difficulty. Jesus’ answer to Peter is, for all intents and purposes, ‘As much or as long as it takes. ’ • Peter asked the Lord to increase their faith.

Forgive & Forget-Can It Be Done • Forgive and forget. • It is an assumption that forgetfulness is a necessity of forgiveness. • The truth is very few people actually do forget, even when they manage to forgive. • In those matters which do real damage to us can make forgiveness and forgetting hard.

Forgive & Forget-Can It Be Done • General Oglethorpe once said to John Wesley, "I never forgive and I never forget. " To which Wesley replied, "Then, Sir, I hope you never sin. “ Unknown. • God says: 25 -I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; And I will not remember your sins. 26 Put Me in remembrance; Let us contend together; State your case, that you may be acquitted. Is. 43: 25 -26 • E. Stanley Jones said ‘God buries our sins in the (depth of the sea) (Micah 7: 19) the sea of His forgetfulness and puts up a sign that reads, "No fishing. " • • He forgets our sins and remembers them no more. ‘Love – keeps no record of being wronged’ I Corin. 13: 5 (NLT)

Forgive & Forget-Can It Be Done • Memory is a funny thing. When it comes to forgiveness, maybe there’s nothing funny about it. • In one moment, you can be transported back to a time of pain, of being wronged, of anger, of shame. • Before you know it, you’re holding a grudge all over again.

Forgive & Forget-Can It Be Done • Feelings from the moment return. • This is what makes forgiving & forgetting so difficult at times. • Saying the words “ I forgive you” is easy enough, but our memory takes a little longer to come around. • That must be what they mean by ‘forgive and forget. ’ The two in some sense go together.

Forgive & Forget-Can It Be Done • What comfort is there in revenge?

Forgive & Forget-Can It Be Done • The author Philip Yancey stated “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned. ” • Forgiveness does not mean condoning the other persons actions. What you are after is to find peace. • Forgiving does not mean that magically, everything will be better. You may still recall the suffering. What it does offer is a new way to deal with the pain, and less attachment to it.

Forgive & Forget-Can It Be Done • Forgiving-One lets go of something, attempts to rise above the anger, the shame, the heartbreak. The other accepts such forgiveness with gratitude, with thankfulness, with repentance. • And forgetting? Well, that’s another issue, isn’t it? Memory is indeed a funny thing. It can take a lifetime for some scars to heal. • To look into our personalized pictures is to look at the most difficult memories we are harboring.

Forgive & Forget-Can It Be Done • When a matter is small, unless we are terribly damaged as emotional beings, we may well forgive and forget. If the matter is small, so is the forgiveness required. • Example, someone bumps into you on a lurching subway. “Sorry, ” they say, and you answer, “No problem. ” Leaving the subway, you never think of it again. • We can be in various stages of transformation (or change) but we still remember.

Forgive & Forget-Can It Be Done • No, it is only those matters which do real damage to us that make forgiveness matter, and in these forgetting may or may not be a reasonable part in the process. • We can forgive without forgetting. And most of the time, remembering is an important part of real forgiveness. • Sometimes to completely forget, that is, to pretend an event never happened, would really be our lost.

Forgive & Forget-Can It Be Done What Can Help • Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving the person who caused you pain power over you, we have to learn to look for the love, beauty, the and kindness around you. Look for the good and the wisdom you learned from the situation. • Remembering even the most painful things without hate, anger, bitterness can allow us to protect ourselves in important ways, set safe, wise boundaries for positive relationships and help us protect those we love from the same or a similar harm.

Forgive & Forget-Can It Be Done • Even if someone comes to us and says, deeply and sincerely, “I am sorry, ” it does not undo the damage. • Trying to forget a matter cannot be rushed. If you have been damaged, the truth is, you must take time to heal. • The true nature of the damage must be understood. And then, most of all, the person who has been hurt must come to understand that the anger and desire for revenge, the clinging to the pain and suffering is an act that gives one’s power away. • Healing and forgiveness can come under any circumstances. The Holy Spirit He is our helper and comforter.

• Next Bible Study • How To Improve Your Love Life- Forgive • Scripture: I Corin. 13

Reference: Never Forget-A Theology on Forgiveness-D Audette Fulbright