FAP SKILLS TRAINING EVOKING 2017 MARY PLUMMER LOUDON

FAP SKILLS TRAINING: EVOKING 2017 MARY PLUMMER LOUDON, Ph. D.

Mary Loudon, 2015 Rule 2: Evoking CRB How do you get CRBs to show up? Rule 2: Evoke: To present (or be) the evocative stimulus (Sev/SD) that calls forth the client’s CRB.

Mary Loudon, 2015 EVOKING STRATEGIES & SKILLS u u u u Soft vs Hard Evokes Working with emotional avoidance (ubiquitous CRB 1) Shift awareness to present moment Out-to-in parallels Asking for CRB 2’s Self-disclosure “Mistakes”

Mary Loudon, 2015 SOFT & HARD EVOKES

Mary Loudon, 2015 Soft vs. Hard Evokes SOFT EVOKES Evoking CRB in session, but not within the relationship � Can you sink in to that feeling a bit more? � I notice you staying really intellectual about all this. What’s going on in your body? � Assigning homework, experiential exercises, HARD EVOKES Evoking CRB within therapeutic relationship � Eyes-on � What do you see in my eyes right now? � How can you take up more space in our relationship? � Can you find a way to be in your anger without pushing me away right now?

Mary Loudon, 2015 DISRUPTING EMOTIONAL AVOIDANCE

Evoking Strategies: Mary Loudon, 2015 Notice Emotional Avoidance Find emotional avoidance as it’s occurring (Rule 1) • • Avoiding eye contact Intellectualizing Telling stories, complaining, “running the script” Pressured speech, talking too fast Staying stuck in secondary emotions or expressing an emotional front that doesn’t seem to evolve Canceling sessions Not doing homework

Evoking Strategies: Mary Loudon, 2015 Disrupt Emotional Avoidance Once you think you’ve found it, shift from “then, there” content to “here, now” process, slow down, and…

Evoking Strategies: Mary Loudon, 2015 Disrupt Emotional Avoidance Ask about it directly! • • “What are you avoiding by/with…? ” “What’s going on with your clenched hands right now? ” “What just happened when you looked away? ” “What are you doing to block this? ”

Evoking Strategies: Mary Loudon, 2015 Disrupt Emotional Avoidance Amplify your emotional response: � � � Attune to your own emotions as you empathize with your client. Amplify your expression of those emotions, particularly if the client tends to avoid feeling them. Caution: titrate to your client – ask them “what are you feeling as you see my tears? ” Too much emotion care-taking, dissociation, emotionally unsafe.

Evoking Strategies: Mary Loudon, 2015 Disrupt Emotional Avoidance Block their blocking: • • • Inappropriate affect: “can you drop the smile as you tell me about…? ” Rigid/tense body: “Can you breathe tenderness into your shoulders, jaw, and belly before you continue? ” Poor eye contact: “I want to make sure we’re both all here. Can you find and stay with my eyes so that we can feel what you’re saying together, in connection? ”

Evoking Strategies: Mary Loudon, 2015 Disrupt Emotional Avoidance Ask about visible signs of emotional avoidance

Mary Loudon, 2015 MOVE INTO THE PRESENT MOMENT

Evoking Strategies: Mary Loudon, 2015 Shift to present moment process Move the conversation from content (e. g. , stories about the past or future) into the process that’s unfolding in the room • • Did you notice how you just… You’re telling me all about the feelings you had about your divorce in the past. What are you feeling right here, right now as you share this with me?

Mary Loudon, 2015 OUT-TO-IN PARALLELS

Evoking Strategies: Mary Loudon, 2015 Make “out-to-in” parallels Out-to-ins and in-to-outs are part of Rule 5 – generalizing in-session change to out-ofsession behavior. They can also be antecedents/evokes (SEv) for more CRB: • • • By pointing to therapeutic relationship as a parallel to outside relationships, intimacy is increased. Increasing intimacy Stuff out there Therap y Us

Evoking Strategies: Mary Loudon, 2015 Make “out-to-in” parallels • • • How is that stuff that’s happening “out there” showing up between us? Have you experienced that feeling in our session today? Have you ever felt that way with me? About me? Does that remind you at all of our relationship? I wonder if you’re bringing up this story because you feel that way about therapy, too? (Asking about hidden meaning)

Mary Loudon, 2015 ASK DIRECTLY FOR CRB 2’S

Mary Loudon, 2015 Evoking Strategies: Ask directly for a CRB 2 SOFT Can you sink into that feeling just a few inches more? What is your vision of your ideal self? What was hardest about writing your HARD It sounds like you might want to change our time next week. Are you willing to ask me directly for that? What can you do with me right now, to open up just a little more to my love? What is hard for you to say to me? How can you be your ideal self with me in this moment? What’s the biggest emotional

MAKE YOURSELF THE EVOCATIVE STIMULUS EV D (S /S ) Mary Loudon, 2015

Evoking Strategies: Mary Loudon, 2015 Use yourself! • • • Self-disclosure (about your in-session and outside life experiences) Authentic emotional reactions Your own vulnerability Your boundaries, limits, needs Amplified emotional expression CAUTIONS

Evoking Strategies: Mary Loudon, 2015 Embracing mistakes: it’s ok to make ‘em! • • We make “mistakes” all the time (e. g. , T 1 s) These are natural hard evokes – and often amazing opportunities! • • • Therapeutic mistakes can evoke/elicit emotional states clients often encounter in their outside lives. Pulling for CRB 2 s in these contexts can be very useful for generalization Mistakes also allow for a powerful type of reinforcement for clients: allowing them to

Evoking Practice: Mary Loudon, 2015 Skills Drill in pairs • • • Partner 1: • 1 minute to describe your main CRB 1’s in this workshop Partner 2: • 1 minutes to brainstorm/hypothesize how you might be able to evoke your partner’s CRB 2 s in a brief interaction. Aim for hard evokes! Then switch 2’ each round/5’ total