FAMILY THE SHADOWS OF ADDICTION IMPACTS OF ADDICTION

FAMILY: THE SHADOWS OF ADDICTION

IMPACTS OF ADDICTION The bio/psycho/social model of well-being: Physical impacts Emotional impacts Social impacts Spiritual impacts

PHYSICAL Weight gain/weight loss Medical problems such as: § Diabetes § Hypertension G. I. problems Circulation problems

MENTAL/EMOTIONAL Anger Depression Isolation Low self-esteem

SOCIAL Change in friends No friends Negative feedback from close friends Loss of interest Lack of follow through Not looking forward to things Misdirected goals

SPIRITUAL Anger with GOD/Higher Power

WHAT HAPPENS TO THE FAMILY WHEN THE ADDICTION BECOMES A PART OF IT?

THE FAMILY Unusual stress Normal routines are interrupted by frightening experiences What is being said doesn’t match up with family members feelings § i. e. the lyrics don’t match the music Feelings get shut down and stuffed Family members become “PODS” or pseudo self

DEFENSE MECHANISMS ARE COMPLICATED Rationalization Intellectualizing Over controlling Enabling Withdrawing Self medicating

HOMEOSTASIS A family’s ability to create balance within the family unit Three branches of the family system § Husband Wife § Mother and Father § Children

HOMEOSTASIS In a more balanced system there is: § Open communication § Children have a voice § The rules are for the entire family unit, not just the identified addict. § Boundaries between systems § Members can identify their role in their families.

HOMEOSTASIS In alcoholic and drug addicted homes there is a huge lack of balance The shadow of the disease of addiction takes over the family members and transforms them into something else. Concepts such as truth and faith become chaotic and promises are broken Instability No trust

HOMEOSTASIS Typically family members fall into two categories: The Pleaser Withdrawn Common Behaviors Include: § § § § § Yell scream Smile when in pain Withdraw Cajole Horrang Criticize Overly identify Understand Get fed up § § § Laugh Lie Exaggerate Rationalize Intellectualize Delusions of grandeur

INVOLVING FAMILY IN THE RECOVERY PROCESS

TALK WITH PURPOSE Involve Families dealing with addiction often deny family members the opportunity to share either openly or partially open about what is happening. Everyday occurrences that seem normal are put on the “back burner” and feel very much like a burden. Give them a safe space to talk with purpose.

TALK WITH PURPOSE The weights hang on the shoulders of family members § Must talk about their feelings § Have to have outside positive influence § Should not self medicate Family members in a drug addicted atmosphere tend to: § Avoid § Lack a genuine emotional connection. § Misdirected focus on other problems

THE BRAIN Make no mistake… Addiction = trauma § It is: § § § Persuasive Imposing Lacks rapport Impacts physiological state Weakens mental stability

THE BRAIN Amygdala § The center for the Fight or Flight mechanism is fully functional at birth. § Hippocampus § Are we threatened? § Pre-frontal cortex § Necessary/essential § Not fully developed until at least 10 or 11 years old

QUESTIONS? Ben Brafman bbrafman@destinationhope. net