Family Dynamics H 236 Adolescent Development Parenting Adolescents
- Slides: 16
Family Dynamics H 236: Adolescent Development
Parenting Adolescents What Teens Need… What parents want… • Internalization of values & • Autonomy behavioral standards • Equip youth to become • Responsibility • Competence productive members of society • Instill emotional wellbeing & emotional security (a relationship!) • Protect their children
Parents love their teens…but, Expressions of closeness change For parents, expressing love for their teen is like… Hugging a Cactus Arp & Arp, (1999). Suddenly they’re 13, on the art of hugging a cactus: A parents’ survival guide for the adolescent years
Parenting a Cactus It’s a renegotiation
Adolescence in the developmental plan Declines in… Increases in… • Supervision • Collective-discussion based decisions • Challenges to parental authority • Conflict • Adolescent Responsibility • Behavioral control • Communication • Unilateral authority Renegotiation Parent Regulation Infancy Co-Regulation Adolescence Self Regulation Adulthood Parents are doing this while simultaneously getting to know a new school context
Conflict in the Context of Renegotiation • Most common with Moms (Siblings, friends, romantic partner…dad) • Most intense between moms and daughters • Conflict with parents is more coercive • Different perceptions of pace of autonomy development (esp. immigrant families) • Tend to be about “seemingly” mundane things • Domains of control (e. g. , dress, hairstyle…) Change in conflict across adolescence
Conflicts per minute Granic, Dishion, & Hollenstein (2003)
What about those “mundane” things? • What do parents *really* mean? • “No, you can’t wear that to school” • Read: “That’s too sexually provocative!” • “I don’t know if it’s a good idea for you to date him” • Read: “I worry he might pressure you for sex and you might be interested. ” • “You have to be home at 11” • Read: “The movie ends at 10 and I don’t want you to have time to get into trouble” • “I don’t like that crowd you are hanging around” • Read: “they look like they might get into trouble and persuade you to join them. ”
Conflict Resolution • Most conflict resolved by disengagement or submission • Compromise is rare…but more common with moms than dads • Submission declines with age • Disengagement increases • More common with sons
Parenting: Mechanisms of Influence • Day to day interactions become patterns • Create associations between interactions and emotions • “Attractors” or “scripts” are created (for good & ill) • Rehearsed • Points in development ripe for bifurcation and renegotiation (i. e. , adolescence) • Scripts and attractors must be renegotiated • Conflict provides context for novel interactions to develop into new scripts and attractors • In childhood parental goals held most weight—less clear in adolescence • Far more opportunities for parents to be “goal-blockers”
Conflict: It’s not all Bad… • Conflict is not universal • Most common among American Majority Culture • More common among acculturating families • For other cultures, even if there are disagreements, it is likely that respect for elders prevails • It’s not all bad • Permits the rehearsal of negotiation skills • May strengthen a secure relationship by effectively dealing with issues • Opportunity to reconsider/revise expectations and renegotiate roles and responsibilities
Parents & Youth as drivers of Parenting Practices • Parenting youth outcomes • In what contexts do you think this is the case? • Youth parenting • What did you think of the Statin Kerr article? • How can you imagine this happening? • Can you emphasize?
Help that parents (and teens) need… • Known and safe environments • Other adults that affirm parents’ beliefs and goals • Support and knowledge for parents about parenting. • Parents don’t know how to help
How can we support teens and their families? • Teens need other adults who will support them and hold them accountable. • Be one or help them find one. • Parents need support and guidance, especially in the early teen years as they are “re-figuring out” parenting • Help them understand adolescent development, especially cognitive development • Help them understand what is “typical” • Empathize rather than blame
Parents & Adolescents Survive the Teen Years • Best described as a time of renegotiation • Secure and close relationships in childhood buffer the teen years
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