FACING SETBACKS WITH RESILIENCE MJ Abell Learning Development

FACING SETBACKS WITH RESILIENCE MJ Abell, Learning & Development Specialist abell. 1@osu. edu

Where we’re heading Increasing your resilience in general Flexibility of thinking Tapping into empathy & self-compassion Next steps Image: Amadef Trnkoczy, Saxifraga-oppositifolia_31, Flickr CC 2

WHAT IS RESILIENCE? “The light within us that will not be extinguished. ” - Sheryl Sandburg “Bouncing back” from difficult experiences. Adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress. - American Psychological Association Finding a way to move forward. Image: Jeffery “JP” Starburst-orange, Flickr CC

WHAT IS RESILIENCE? Source: The Resilience Programme, www. theresiliencepriogram. co. uk https: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=C 1 UCI 2 ZHEqw 4

KEY SKILLS FOR RESILIENCE Having a wide range of tools and skills Embracing difficulty and reframing it as a learning experience Flexibility of thinking Self awareness 5

Tools to fill your resilience well “What you pay attention to grows. ”

Find an image for resilience Powerful visuals + evoke emotions = Deeper engagement

I can ride the waves

I’m flexible yet firmly rooted

I can rise above negativity. Image: Sonny Abesamis - Flower Bed - Flickr CC

Image: drneelesh - Hang in There - Flickr CC

At your table: Share what image or object represents resilience to you

Know your resilience successes

Aren’t you the one who…

I handled XX and even impressed him. I’ve handled him and I can handle anything. Aren’t you the team that implemented XX with big constraints on time, resources and money? Aren’t you the one who’s put up with bullies without losing your cool?

Activity: Write down some resilience successes “Aren’t you the one who…” or “I’m the one who…”

Stuff happens − now what? Tools for setbacks, negativity and disappointments

Flexibility of thinking Reframing Pessimism – Optimism Asking new questions Tapping into other voices

Activity: Share something you complained about OR something that went wrong 24 hours

Now share 1 positive thing about it

WHAT IS REFRAMING? Looking at something in a more positive or productive way Cultural bias toward the negative 21 Complete picture of reality

WHY REFRAME? Health benefits Generate ideas Get unstuck Combat negativity Resilience Image: Johnny Jet – Upside Down Crazy Girl – Flickr CC 22

https: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=l 4 k. K_GOCc. Mo

Reframing is NOT Images from Flickr Creative Commons: Savannah van der Niet – Rose Coloured Glasses, Ballookey Klugeypop - A Coat of Whilte Primer, Asmaa Dee - Cupcake

Reframing is shifting perspective so you can move forward Image: Jeff Babbitt - Fancy Gold Frame - Flickr CC

FLEXIBILITY OF THINKING Pessimistic thought Permanent & universal I always get nervous in front of groups and don’t come across well. Optimistic thought Temporary and specific Positive energy is contagious I get nervous when I first begin speaking, then I get more comfortable.

I don’t have time for professional development. Too many things are happening all at once.

Such-and-such happened this morning. My day is ruined. I’m dreading this conversation (or meeting). I just can’t deal with him (or her).

Ask new questions – Get CURIOUS Another tool: Ask new questions – Get CURIOUS What am I missing? Do I need to check my thinking? What do I need to let go of? What is my fear here? What’s the next step? Who could help me get some perspective? What’s another way to see this? Is it the whole sky or a bird flying through it? What can I learn here?

IN THE ARENA / WHAT VOICES AM I LISTENING TO? Brené Brown University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work Researcher & Storyteller 30

The arena is where we show up We will never be perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena Image: Dan Diffendale – Roman Amphitheater 77, Flick

Cheap seats Anonymous critics Support section Empathy & selfcompassion sit here Critics section Internal & external messages of comparison, scarcity & shame Which voices are you listening to?

Who is on your 1” x 1” piece of paper?

Also in your Support Section – your voice of empathy and self-compassion A wise and supportive mentor who’s encouraging you …to see things in a more clear and balanced way …to remember that no one is perfect …to be kind, understanding and accountable to yourself. - Based on the work of Kristen Neff Image: Eva - Salvatore D'Oro -Flower - Flickr CC

Activity: 1. Think of a work situation (frustration, misstep, challenge, disappointment, change, perceived limit…) 2. What would a wise friend or mentor OR your voice of empathy or self-compassion say to you about it?

NEXT STEPS – KEEP BUILDING YOUR RESILIENCE! Find your image for resilience Refine your radar for negative statements and limiting mindsets…Practice reframing I’m the one who…I can handle this Know who is on your 1” x 1" piece of paper Get to know your inner mentor, your voice of empathy and self-compassion 36

How might you look at that differently? What’s another way to see this? What if… Resilience - Pass it on Image: Chris Smith – Hoverfly on Zinnia – Flickr CC

Questions? Comments? Thank you! Feel free to reach out to me. MJ Abell Learning & Development Specialist Office of Human Resources abell. 1@osu. edu