Extended Constructed Response The 4 point question By
Extended Constructed Response The 4 point question By: Tammy Gardner
What is an “Extended Constructed Response”? • A Narrative prompt • Based on a Narrative text • Requires a longer response that the “Short Constructed Response”(a paragraph or two) • Worth 4 points
How are the 2 pt and the 4 pt similar and different? Short Constructed Response (2 pt) Extended Constructed Response (4 pt) Respond to text Respond to narrative text Use text evidence to support answer Use text evidence to develop narrative response Application of basic writing skills • Grammar • Usage • Sentence structure • Spelling • Handwriting Application of basic writing skills and understanding of narrative elements • Character • Setting • Plot (and events) • Point of view • Theme • Dialogue • Organization (BME) Requires a few sentences Requires a paragraph or two
Examples of Extended Constructed Response prompts • Write the conclusion for a story • Provide an alternate (different) ending • Rewrite in a different setting • Rewrite from another point of view • Rewrite using more descriptive details
To respond effectively to an Extended Constructed Response (4 pt) prompt I will: Effectively establish a situation Effectively introduce narrator Effectively develop character/s Organize events logically with natural flow Use a variety of words/phrases to signal sequence of events Develop events through dialogue, description, and pacing Show responses of characters to situations Uses precise words, phrases, and sensory details to convey experiences and events • Provide a conclusion that follows a narrated experience or event • Integrate ideas and details from source materials effectively • Demonstrate control of language skills so that errors do not interfere with meaning • •
A Look at Narrative Elements • Character- a person, or sometimes an animal, who takes part in the action of a story • Setting- the time and place in which the story happens • Plot- the events that happen in the story from beginning to end
More on Narrative Elements • Conflict- a struggle between two people or things in a story. The main character is usually on one side of the main conflict/problem. – the main character may struggle against another important character, against the forces of nature, against society, or even against something inside himself or herself (feelings, emotions, illness). • Point of View- who is telling the story • Theme- the central idea or belief in a story
Let’s explore Character Ask yourself these questions when trying to understand a character’s traits: • What does the character look like? • How does the character behave towards others? How do others behave toward the character? • What does the character seem to care about? • What adjectives does the author use to describe the character's personality? • What does the character think or say?
Let’s explore Character Narratives include details about the character’s to help us get to know how the character looks and acts. Physical Character Traits (clues that describe the character's appearance) Personality Traits (clues that describe the character’s personality or nature) Old Fancy Poor Tall Short Shy Happy Smart Greedy Dramatic You try: Sort these character traits into the correct column Worried Young Helpful Simple Can you add more ideas to each column?
How can I find clues in a narrative that describe a character? The author may tell us directly: The old man was greedy. The author may tell us indirectly by describing the characters thoughts or actions: The old man never offered to share his food even though he had more than enough. Examples of evidence in the text Trait being described • The new girl was tall and skinny. • Physical- describes how the girl looks • The puppy had brown curly hair and a bushy tail. • Physical- describes how the puppy looks • Tom was shy and never raised his hand in class. • Personality- Tom is shy • As the girl walked into her new classroom, she didn’t look at anyone. • Personality- the girl was shy or scared
How can changing a character’s traits change a story? Once there was a shy little snail named Bobby. He moved very slowly, so he was scared he wouldn’t to be good at any of the games his friends liked to play. He always played quietly by himself. Even when his friends begged him to join in their games, Bobby always refused. How does the text describe Bobby? Appearance little slow Personality Shy scared/Not confident How can you change Bobby’s traits in a way that changes the story?
How can I change Bobby’s character traits in a way that changes the story? Once there was a shy little snail named Bobby. He moved very slowly, so he was scared he wouldn’t to be good at any of the games his friends liked to play. He always played quietly by himself. Even when his friends begged him to join in their games, Bobby always refused, “No, you go ahead. I’ll just watch today. ” If I change the character’s traits of shy and slow the story could be different. Instead of shy and slow, he could be friendly and very fast. Once there was a friendly little snail named Bobby. He was the fastest snail around. He loved to race with his friends because he always won. Bobby couldn’t wait for everyone to come out to play. He was always begging them to come out and race with him. “I’ll race you!” he yelled out, hoping someone would accept his challenge.
You try: Change one of Bobby’s character traits, then rewrite the story. Once there was a shy little snail named Bobby. He moved very slowly, so he was scared he wouldn’t to be good at any of the games his friends liked to play. He always played quietly by himself. Even when his friends begged him to join in their games, Bobby always refused. What if Bobby was mean instead of shy? Rewrite the story to show the story might change. Use dialogue in your story. __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________
Let’s explore Setting Ask yourself these questions to help you recognize and understand setting: • • • Where is it? When is it? What is the weather like? What are the social conditions? What is the landscape or environment like? What special details make the setting vivid?
Clues that help understand setting (place) We can use our 5 senses to add details about the places in the setting. Senses Examples Sight- ideas that describe things that can be The room was filled with presents wrapped seen in paper of every color of the rainbow. Sound- ideas that describe sounds The floor creaked as she walked over to her desk. “CREAK”, the floor screamed as she walked over to her desk Smell- ideas that describe smells The air was filled with a sweet and salty smells of cotton candy and popcorn. Touch- ideas that describe how things feel to the touch The dog’s fur felt like the prickles of a porcupine as I rubbed my had down his back. Taste- ideas that describe tastes The orange left a surprisingly sweet and bitter taste on my tongue.
Let’s explore Setting Narratives include details about the setting to describe the time and place the story is happening. Examples of evidence in the text that tell about the setting of a story • Deep in the swampy waters…. This clue describes…. . • geographical location • Long ago during the American Revolution… • historical era • In the part of the city where all of the houses looked like mansions…. • social conditions • Snow covered the trees and the houses • weather • On her desk beside her book…. • immediate surroundings • Early one morning…; around 7: 00 am • and time of day You try: What does the following setting clue describe? The sky above lightened up as rays of sunshine peeked through the clouds. .
Let’s explore Setting Details about the setting also helps to set the mood of the story (scary, serious, silly, etc) Clues in the text…. Mood … • Deep in the swampy waters…. • scary • The desks were all covered with tests and • Serious pencils and books… • The room was plastered with bright ribbons and colorful balloons…. • cheerful/happy You try: What kind of mood do the details about this setting create? Support your answer with specific evidence. The sky was bright and sunny and air was filled with the sound of a chorus of birds singing in perfect harmony.
How can changing details about the setting change a story? The day of his 10 th birthday had finally arrived and Ricky couldn’t help but stare at all of the colorful presents waiting to be opened. As he began to set up the tables and chairs underneath the trees, he noticed the clouds above begin to thicken and turn grey. He could feel the coolness of rain as it got closer. Then, SPLAT! His excitement washed away as the drops fell. details What do the clues in the text tell us about the setting? shows 10 th birthday, colorful presents A birthday party Underneath the trees; “feel the coolness of the rain”; SPLAT; outside raining “couldn’t help but stare” Happy, excited “The day of his 10 th birthday” A specific day of the year
How can I rewrite the story with a different setting? The day of his 10 th birthday had finally arrived and Ricky couldn’t help but stare at all of the colorful presents waiting to be opened. As he helped set up tables and chairs underneath the trees, he noticed the clouds above begin to thicken and turn grey. He could feel the coolness of rain as it got closer. “Go away rain…. Please!” he whispered. Then, SPLAT! His excitement washed away as the drops fell. If I change the setting from outside to inside I can rewrite the story with a different setting. The day of his 10 th birthday had finally arrived and Ricky couldn’t help but stare at all of the colorful presents waiting to be opened. As he helped set up the tables and chairs in the community center, he noticed the clouds begin to thicken. He could see the rain coming across the yard through the window. “Thank goodness we decided to have the party indoors. ” he thought. Then, SPLAT! He heard the drops hit the roof, but he didn’t worry because his party was safely inside.
You try: Change the setting, then rewrite the story. The day of his 10 th birthday had finally arrived and Ricky couldn’t help but stare at all of the colorful presents waiting to be opened. As he helped set up tables and chairs underneath the trees, he noticed the clouds begin to thicken and turn grey. He could feel the coolness of rain as it got closer. Then, SPLAT! His excitement washed away as the drops fell. What if the setting changed to a warm sunny day? Rewrite the story to show the story might change. Use dialogue in your response. _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________
Let’s explore Point of View 1 st Person. The narrator tells the story from the “I” perspective. 3 rd Person. The narrator tells the story of another person or group of people. The narrator may be far removed from or not involved in the story, or he or she may be a supporting character supplying narration for a hero. Clues that signal this Point of VIew I Me my our us we myself ourselves he she them they him her his her their
Let’s explore Point of View 1 st Person. The narrator tells the story from the “I” perspective. 3 rd Person. The narrator tells the story of another person or group of people. The narrator may be far removed from or not involved in the story, or he or she may be a supporting character supplying narration for a hero. Clues that signal this Point of VIew I Me my our us we myself ourselves he she them they him her his her their
How can I revise a narrative by changing the Point of View? At dawn, Mae Tuck set out on her horse for the wood at the edge of the village of Treegap. She was going there, as she did once every ten years, to meet her two sons, Miles and Jesse, and she was feeling at ease. At noon time, Winnie Foster, whose family owned the Treegap wood, lost her patience at last and decided to think about running away. Along about that time, Mae rounded to curve on her horse. Using 1 st person, revise the story from Mae’s point of view. At dawn, I set out on my horse for the wood at the edge of the village of Treegap. I go there once every ten years to meet my two sons, Miles and Jesse. I had real good feeling about the trip. When I rounded the curve on my horse it was about noon time. I saw Winnie Foster whose family owned the Treegap wood. I asked, “Hey Winnie, what are you doing out here? ” She told me that she had finally lost her patience and was thinking about running away.
You try: Revise a story by changing the Point of View Leslie sat in front of Paul. She had two long, brown pigtails that reached all the way down to her waist. Paul saw those pigtails, and a terrible urge came over him. He wanted to pull a pigtail. He wanted to wrap his fist around it, feel the hair between his fingers, and just yank. He thought it would be fun to tie the pigtails together, or better yet, tie them to her chair. But most of all, he just wanted to pull one. Using 1 st person, revise the story from Paul’s point of view. ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________
How can I rewrite a story using more descriptive details? Good Word Choice “lifts the level of our language. ” WOW Words • Using clever words rather than simple words adds interest and detail so your story isn’t boring Thoughtful Adjectives • Using more descriptive adjectives helps the reader make a movie of your story in their mind Show not Tell • Using precise details and figurative language helps the reader understand t, scenes, actions and feelings better 5 Senses • Describing sights sounds, tastes, smells, touch/feeling to help the reader experience your story
How can using Words make my writing more descriptive? “Wow Words” are clever words that add STYLE to our writing…“WOW Words have “PIZAZZ!”
Dead Words vs. Words!!! Good Excellent, marvelous, splendid, exceptional Mad Frustrated, furious, enraged, cross Got, Get Received, obtained, Ran Scampered, dashed
You Try: Rewrite the following sentences by using WOW words to make them more descriptive. My friends and I all had fun at the fair. I love pizza because it is good. I ran to the playground at recess. I was mad when my brother took my favorite book.
How can I rewrite an idea to make it more descriptive by adding Thoughtful Adjectives? Thoughtful Adjectives turn a simple boring idea into a “mini movie” in the reader’s mind by giving precise details about nouns and pronouns. Simple boring idea: The cat ran up the tree. Questions the reader might have: • What color is the cat • How big is the cat? • What kind of tree? • Is the tree tall or short, big or small? Evidence given in the text to answer these questions: NONE!
How can I rewrite an idea to make it more descriptive by adding Thoughtful Adjectives? How can I rewrite this idea in a more descriptive way by adding thoughtful adjectives? Simple boring idea: The cat ran up the tree. Think: What words (nouns or pronouns) can I describe using thoughtful adjectives • cat, tree Thoughtful adjectives to describe cat: fat fluffy orange striped Thoughtful adjectives to describe tree: old giant pine enormous Rewrite the idea using thoughtful adjectives to make it more descriptive : The fluffy orange cat ran up the giant old pine tree.
You Try: Rewrite the idea using thoughtful adjectives to make it more descriptive. Sarah filled the vase with flowers. Think: What words (nouns or pronouns) can I describe using thoughtful adjectives? Thoughtful adjectives to describe _______: Thoughtful adjectives to describe ______: Rewrite the idea using thoughtful adjectives to make it more descriptive : __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________
How can I SHOW Not Tell an idea to add description? An idea that only tells about what is happening: The children went inside when the rain started. Telling : SHOWing • leaves the reader with unanswered • helps the reader see the scenes and actions questions • helps the reader understand a character’s §How many children? feelings and thoughts §Were they enjoying the rain? • provides evidence for the reader §Was it raining lightly or a lot? • provides NO evidence for the reader Describe the scene using precise details The crowd of children went inside when it started raining. Describe the action using precise details All of the children hurried inside when it started pouring rain. Describe the action using figurative language The crowd of children hurried inside as quick as rabbits when the rain started to fall like a water fountain from the sky. Use dialogue to describe thoughts and feelings. The someone in the crowd of children screamed, “Run for cover!” as they all raced inside when the ran started to fall.
How can I rewrite a story by Showing Not Telling ideas to make it more descriptive? Showing Not Telling means that you use words to show scenes, actions and feelings, not just tell about them. This helps the reader better understand what is going on…like seeing the story in real life…. A sentence that just tells about the idea: The new boy walked into the classroom and sat in his desk. He didn’t speak to anyone. Describe how the boy was feeling What evidence can you find in about going to the new class: the text to support your answer? • Is the boy happy? • Is the boy scared? NONE!
How can I rewrite a story by Showing Not Telling ideas to make it more descriptive? What details can I add to SHOW Not Tell about this idea? The new boy walked into the classroom and sat in his desk. He didn’t speak to anyone. We know what the boy is doing, but we don’t have clues that help us know anything else the idea. How does the boy feel? • happy? scared? confident? Ideas that the story Tells about: • the boy walked into the classroom • he sat in his desk • he didn’t speak We can SHOW these ideas by describing the actions and feelings: • The boy walked slowly (clue about action) • The boy slid shyly into his desk (clue about action) • Without saying a word (clue about feeling) Rewrite this idea by SHOWing Not Telling to add more description. The boy walked slowly into the classroom and slid shyly into his desk without saying a word.
You Try: Rewrite these ideas by SHOWing not TELLing about them to add description. Read the TELLing idea Rewrite the idea to make it a SHOWing idea The girl screamed as she opened her present. The girl jumped for joy and screamed, “Oh my! I finally got one!” as she ripped into her Is the girl excited or upset? How do you present. know? Is the girl excited or upset? How do you know? When the snake came out of the hole, the boy stood there. Is the boy scared or curious? How do you know? ____________________________________ ____________________________________ Is the boy scared or curious? How do you know?
How can I use details about my senses to rewrite an idea more descriptively? Adding details that describe our senses add helps SHOW not Tell our ideas. . Senses Examples Sight- ideas that describe things that can be The room was filled with presents wrapped seen in paper of every color of the rainbow. Sound- ideas that describe sounds The floor creaked as she walked over to her desk. “CREAK”, the floor screamed as she walked over to her desk Smell- ideas that describe smells The air was filled with a sweet and salty smells of cotton candy and popcorn. Touch- ideas that describe how things feel to the touch The dog’s fur felt like the prickles of a porcupine as I rubbed my had down his back. Taste- ideas that describe tastes The orange left a surprisingly sweet and bitter taste on my tongue.
Practice: Rewrite this story using more descriptive details. Think about how the characters felt, as well as what they saw, smelled, and heard. Include dialogue to help describe the character’s feelings. At the pizza place, Tony was getting a pizza ready for baking. He made the dough into a large ball and tossed it up. He spread some sauce on it, sprinkled it with cheese, and put it in the oven. Then the telephone rang. His wife answered it. When she hung up, she told him that a person from a factory just ordered a pizza and wants them delivered as fast as possible. Think: What questions do I have? • What do I know about the pizza place? • What do we know about who ony is? • What do I know about Tony’s thoughts and feelings? • What did Tony’s wife actually say to him? • What do I know about what is happening (the actions)? What details would help me answer these questions?
Example: At the pizza place, Tony was getting a pizza ready for baking. He made the dough into a large flat ball and tossed it up in the air. Then, he spread some sauce on it, sprinkled it with some cheese, and put it in the oven. Then the telephone rang. His wife answered it. When she hung up, she told him that a person from a factory just ordered a pizza and wants it delivered as soon as possible. He was trying to get the order ready fast. At the busy pizza place, Tony the baker was getting a pizza ready for baking. He flattened out a ball of dough like a large pancake and tossed it up in the air. Then he hurridly spread tomato sauce on it, sprinkled it with white cheese, and shoved it in the oven. Just then, the telephone rang. “A fellow from the factory wants a large pizza delivered in right away, ” Tony’s wife called out. “OK, I’ve got one in the oven now, ” said Tony as he. ran to wash the pizza sauce from his hands and grab a box.
You Try: Rewrite this part of the story using more descriptive details. Think about how the characters felt, as well as what they saw, smelled, and heard. Include dialogue to help describe the character’s feelings. The puppy got out of its box and came into the kitchen where we were eating. My sister and I started to eat our food so fast some fell off our plates. We were in a hurry to play with the dog and we both wanted to be first. Mama was busy working at the sink. When mama heard the commotion, she turned around and told us to slow down and eat our food. She threatened to not let us play with the puppy at all.
Let’s Write a Conclusion All Narratives have 3 parts: • Beginning- the part of the story where the characters and setting are introduced • Middle- the part of the story where the problem is introduced and where the main events happen • Ending or Conclusion- the part of the story where the problem is solved
Important Features of a Good Conclusion: • Wraps the story up • Doesn’t leave the reader wondering • Provides a sense of closure
Example conclusion writing task: • At the end of the story. . . Write a conclusion for the story that includes the conversation that the characters might have afterward. – Asks you to “add on” to the story by describing the characters responses to the story – Asks you to show the characters’ feelings, thoughts, and responses by using dialogue
Let’s Write a Conclusion Ask yourself these questions when writing a conclusion for a story: • • Who are the main character/s? What is the main problem? What events have taken place already? How could this problem be solved? *Keep in mind: voice, setting, tone and mood
How do I write a conclusion for a story? 1. Read the story so far. 2. Imagine: – How would the character feel now? – What would they think? – What would they do in response? – What would they say? 3. Tie up the story with details that describe the characters’ final actions, thoughts, words, and feelings. Remember to “SHOW not Tell” (Hint: Make sure your ending doesn’t just stop!)
Practice: At the end of the story Goldenlocks and the Bears become friends. Write a conclusion for the story that includes the conversation that Goldenlocks might have with the Bears afterward. The three Bears stood in their bedroom and looked out the window. The room was a mess! Little, Small, Wee Bear saw a hat on the floor. Oh-no! Goldenlocks left it behind. The Bears did not know what to do. The girl was so rude to them, but they were very nice bears. They decided to try to find the girl and bring her the hat. The three Bears went outside and looked for footprints. They saw some footprints going into the woods and followed them. They saw a house on the other side of the forest. It was Goldenlocks’ house! The Bears knocked on the front door and Goldenlocks’ mother came to the door. She said Goldenlocks was too scared to come out of her room. The Bears said it was okay and gave her mom the hat. Goldenlocks heard the Bears talking and decided to come out. Little, Small, Wee Bear said we forgive you! Goldenlocks felt bad for what she had done and apologized. Ask: • The question is asking me to add on to the story. • How would the character feel now? • What would they do and say in response? Think about Ending Details: • Goldenlocks feels really bad • Bears might still be upset about their messed up house. . . • Goldenlocks offers to help them clean up! • They all become good friends • smile, hug • come back and visit
Example: The three Bears stood in their bedroom and looked out the window. The room was a mess! Little, Small, Wee Bear saw a hat on the floor. Oh-no! Goldenlocks left it behind. The Bears did not know what to do. The girl was so rude to them, but they were very nice bears. They decided to try to find the girl and bring her the hat. The three Bears went outside and looked for footprints. They saw some footprints going into the woods and followed them. They saw a house on the other side of the forest. It was Goldenlocks’ house! The Bears knocked on the front door and Goldenlocks’ mother came to the door. She said Goldenlocks was too scared to come out of her room. The Bears said it was okay and gave her mom the hat. Goldenlocks heard the Bears talking and decided to come out. Little, Small, Wee Bear said we forgive you! Goldenlocks felt bad for what she had done and apologized. Ending Details: • Goldenlocks feels really bad • Bears might still be upset about their messed up house. . . • Goldenlocks offers to help them clean up! • They all become good friends • smile, hug • come back and visit To make things right, Goldenlocks decided to go back to the Bears’ house and help them clean up. She worked all afternoon helping the Bears make new porridge, fixing the chair she broke, and tidying up the bedroom. When they were all done, Goldenlocks smiled and gave her new friends a hug. Little Bear said , “Comeback anytime. . . just remember to knock first!”
You Try! At the end of the story Goldenlocks and the Bears become friends. Write a conclusion for the story that includes the conversation that Goldenlocks might have with the Bears afterward. The three Bears stood in their bedroom and looked out the window. The room was a mess! Little, Small, Wee Bear saw a hat on the floor. Oh-no! Goldenlocks left it behind. The Bears did not know what to do. The girl was so rude to them, but they were very nice bears. They decided to try to find the girl and bring her the hat. The three Bears went outside and looked for footprints. They saw some footprints going into the woods and followed them. They saw a house on the other side of the forest. It was Goldenlocks’ house! The Bears knocked on the front door and Goldenlocks’ mother came to the door. She said Goldenlocks was too scared to come out of her room. The Bears said it was okay and gave her mom the hat. Goldenlocks heard the Bears talking and decided to come out. Little, Small, Wee Bear said we forgive you! Goldenlocks felt bad for what she had done and apologized. Consider other ending details: • Goldenlocks feels embarrassed for her actions • She baked them a cake to show she was truly sorry • They all had a picnic • Goldenlocks invites Bears to play at her house next time • Goldenlocks went home and told her parents what happened
Example ECR Questions: • Rewrite this part of the story using more descriptive details. Think about how the characters felt, as well as what they saw, smelled, and heard. – Gives specific part of story. Requires elaboration of event, characters • Write a conclusion to the story (chapter, passage) that starts with (character 1) (asking, telling) (character 2) , “___________. ” – Gives specific dialogue to begin with • Write a conclusion to the story in which ___(character/s) …. . Be sure to include what they say to each other and descriptions of how the (setting) looks. – Gives specific event to begin with and requires dialogue and elaboration to show event/scene • Imagine that next time (insert a different event). What might the conversation be like? Write a narrative clearly describing the conversation that might take place between (character 1) and (character 2). – Changes the event and requires dialogue to show the change • How might the beginning of the story be different if it was written from the point of view of (character)? Using (1 st, 3 rd, person, etc) language, revise the first paragraph of the story from another point of view. – Gives specific character. Requires a change of POV to that character’s POV
• At the end of the story (describe event). Write a conclusion for the story that includes the conversation that (character) might have with (character) afterward. – Requires a conversation that shows a continuation of the story • Rewrite the event as if you are and tell how you respond to the things that happen. Use details from the text to support your answer. – Follows a poem. Requires student to choose an event and rewrite it • Write a story about (character’s) new adventure. – After reading a story. Identify a problem and a solution to write about. • Compose another five-line stanza to insert after the fourth stanza. Be sure ideas in your stanza build upon the main idea of the poem. – Requires response (conclusion) to a poem
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