ESSAY CORRECTIONS Correct your essay and return by

ESSAY CORRECTIONS Correct your essay and return by Thursday at the start of class!

IMPROVEMENTS • Avoid 1 st and 2 nd person POV • WRONG: We travel because we enjoy it. • WRONG: When you travel, things can get exhausting. • RIGHT: People travel because they enjoy it. • RIGHT: When people travel, it can be exhausting. • Avoid contractions • WRONG: People aren’t always going to love traveling. • WRONG: It isn’t always affordable to travel. • RIGHT: People are not always going to love traveling. • RIGHT: It is not always affordable to travel.

IMPROVEMENTS • Noun/ Pronoun Agreement • WRONG: A person travels because they want to get away. • WRONG: One can travel if their income allows it. • RIGHT: A person travels because he or she wants to get away. • RIGHT: People can travel if their incomes allow it. • Use required resources • Rick Steves Ted. Ex Talk • “Why We Travel” article • Other resources are ok but not required. • Credit sources in your writing.

SUCCESSES! • 5 paragraph structure– easy to follow, well organized! • Passionate voice– dedicated to the topic! • Clear thesis– evidence supported thesis that travel is important! • Hooks– interesting quotes, very engaging! • Outside research– dug deeply into the topic!