ESA Sexuality Research Network Sexuality in Theory and

ESA Sexuality Research Network - Sexuality in Theory and Practice Start Making Sense! Middleaged Gay Men’s Stories of Subjectivity/Relating Paul Simpson, Sociology, Manchester University Paul. Simpson-2@manchester. ac. uk

2. What’s my line? Mixed qualitative approach suited to producing detailed, nuanced, ambivalent stories (re ageing, gendered sexuality). Benefits of a strategic ‘pick and mix’ analytical framework that illuminates the multiform, contingent, intertwined character of social experience. So, method plus framework = 1. Methods-related/practical advantages: Different kinds of ‘data’/narrative. Interviews - verbal reconstruction of events. Participant observation - embodied interaction across contexts (Pink 2006) - multi-sited/multi-temporal and social reality as habitual yet dynamic, multidimensional, conflicted process. 2. Theoretical/methodological advantages: illuminates how macrolevel plays out at everyday micro-level; enmeshments of difference (age, gendered sexuality, class and at times race); emergence of different responses to (gay) ageism – constraint/capitulation, ambivalence/negotiation and empowerment/resistance.

3. Context: aim, methods and analytical framework Aim: How through everyday accounts/practices of self-presentation and relating middle-aged gay men in Manchester respond to growing older and (gay) ageism? Methods: 1. In-depth, semi-structured interviews (involving photo-elicitation) with 27 men (aged 39 – 61) who differed by age, class, ethnicity (3) and relationship type/status. Dress/grooming and relating. 2. Twenty ‘covert’ participant observation sessions* in 12 bars (and streets) of the ‘gay village. ’ Dynamic character of ‘village’ life called for time, place (age and class) and people sampling (singles, dyads, small groups) as well as a focus for each session – dress, grooming, interaction. Framework: Interpretivist but strategically drew on tools from (Foucaultian) constructionism - ‘technologies of the self’ and (Bourdiuesian) critical realism (Thomson 2009) resources of ‘ageing capital’ and grounded in ‘fields of existence. ’ Constraint and choice?

4. Two kinds of alienation = constraint On the various podia and dance floor were many men in their twenties and early thirties, stripped to the waist, some with shaved, muscled torsos. But, the dry ice, dizzying lighting, loud, fast, thumping music and the energy of those dancing were beginning for me to feel like sensory overload. I noticed a man, (mid-forties? ), carefully picking his way along the periphery of the dance floor as if battling against a storm. He appeared almost fixed to the spot under the onslaught of the ‘high energy’ sound and light show. His facial expression and body posture indicated that his whole being felt embattled by the club experience. [Field note, Disco Inferno, June 2009, early hours, Saturday morning]. I see the bright coloured, patterned underwear… the kind of stuff that they sell in designer shops, Clone Zone (‘village’ shop selling sex toys/erotic clothes). . . like Aussie Bum (merchandiser of ‘designer’ swimwear and underwear popular with younger gay men). I think ‘just does not apply. ’ It’s largely comfort for me now. . . from Primark and Tesco. Not designer-label clothes or underwear because I just refuse to do the whole superficial Calvin Klein thing. . . I know I shouldn’t say it. . but, well, quite frankly, I think I’m better than them (younger gay men on the scene). . . I think I’m more selfaware. . . I see this in an older person as a sign of immaturity, a lack of awareness… going along with the crowd and being a sheep. . . trying to dress in a young way, which looks ridiculous on them (Daniel 46).

5. Ambivalences – variations on a theme I don’t dwell much on the limitations. I focus on the opposite of age. I don’t focus on what you can’t do bodily anymore but on what I can still do. (Rob 50). South East Asian man, late forties, well defined arms and torso, tight-fitting, rugby-style, short-sleeved t-shirt that accentuated his physique. For the duration of his stay, (about half an hour), he sat alone with his back to the wall behind a group of seven men. He occupied himself by leafing through a magazine, leaflets, then switched between a mobile phone and pocket diary. He snatched occasional glances at the group and around the bar and made subtle adjustments to the nap of his t-shirt. At one point, he was practically hugging himself; right hand holding his left shoulder with one leg crossed over his knee and left hand on right ankle, foot twitching. [Fieldnote: The Frontier Bar (older men), midweek, mid-evening, May 2009].

6. Agency: self-empowerment/resistance The lines on the face tell a story… People who look a bit lived-in are usually more interesting… (Laughs)… And part of that phwoar thing is that rugged, unpolished look. (Davie 44). Two men early sixties and mid twenties (? ) leapt onto the dance floor, determined facial expressions to Cher’s, Are You Strong Enough? Their routine involved energetic waving of arms, gurning as they lip-synched the words to each other. During Pink’s, ‘Cause I’m a Fighter, they began to attract an audience as they punched their fists in the air/towards each other mock aggressively. Other dancers cleared the floor to watch, as they began spontaneously to mirror each other’s movements/gestures and at one point shook their imaginary though ample showgirl breasts at each other. Their routine covered the whole dance floor and segued into dancing sideby-side, moving backwards and forwards in-step, waving an index finger in front of them to the histrionic refrain of, One Night Only! The audience was transfixed; enthusiastic applause followed. [Changes Bar (mixed space), late Friday evening, March 2009].

7. Conclusions 1. Mixed methods (interviews and PO) and strategic ‘pick and mix’ analytical framework - constructionism via ‘technologies of the self’ (Foucault in humanist mode) and (Bourdieusian) critical realism of ‘ageing capital’/‘fields of existence’ – illuminates multiform, contingent character of lived experience. Subjectivity/relating the dynamic result of dialectic between constraint (ambivalence) and choice. 2. Approach yielded different stories (recounted/embodied) in relation to (gay) ageism concerning: 1) capitulation/constraint; 2) negotiation/ambivalence; and 3) empowerment/resistance. Also, indicated how the macro-social/discourses play out at the micro-level - the momentous in the mundane and illuminated enmeshments of difference – age and gendered sexuality, especially.

Observation schedule Thoughts Interaction* Relationships, Two men dancing, aged 60 s and language, 20 s, latter dressed in cardigan, reflexivity etc. skinny jeans, ‘tropical fish’ hairstyle former with shaved head, Ben-Sherman, faded Levi 501 jeans. Dancing to Cher’s “Strong Enough, ” with gurning as part of impromptu ‘showgirl’ dance routine. . . Detailed description of 20 minute dance. . Theory Hexis? Habitus? Performativity? Normativity? Resistances to? Bodily disposition? Gender ambiguity?