Engage in the conversation See whats possible September

Engage in the conversation See what’s possible! September 2016

2 Wheel of Fortune L_V_R_G_N_ ü C_N_L_C_ ü to ü G_T ü V_L_E ü Connection Matters

Wheel of Fortune LEVERAGING CONFLICT to GET VALUE

4 Remember the last significant team you worked with… What helped with the team dynamics? What was difficult about the team dynamics? How did that impact the value/results? What helped to mitigate conflicts? Connection Matters

5 Working Agreement or Team Charters or Designing the Team Alliance (DTA) 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. What kind of climate do you want to create together? How would you know you had it? What are the values you want to live by as a team? How do you want to behave when there is conflict? What are the team’ s conflict protocols? What would help the team flourish? What can your team count on from you? Connection Matters

6 TEAM TOXINS CRITICISM/BLAM E DEFENSIVENESS CONTEMPT STONEWALLING Connection Matters

7 TEAM TOXINS ANTIDOTES CRITICISM DEFENSIVENESS CONTEMPT STONEWALLING Connection Matters

8 CONFLICT PROTOCOL 1. Think about your ideal team. How would that team handle conflicts and disagreements? 2. What are some behaviours you want to see happen when conflict occurs? 3. What are some things you do not want to see happen when conflict occurs? 4. It takes 6 -9 month to change behaviour. How will you hold each other accountable for following these agreements? Connection Matters

9 WHY LEVERAGE CHALLENGES/CONFLICTS? WHY ENGAGE IN THE CONVERATION? ü ü ü Create a culture of caring and collaboration Agile is a mindset – seeks learning opportunities Conflicts are opportunities to learn more about each other and develop respect Respect leads to quality products Ahmed Sidky – The secret is people. People being Agile and not just doing Agile. If people are being Agile; they will figure out the leadership, strategy, structure and process. Connection Matters

Antidotes to Toxins – Hand Out CRITICISM Turn those complaints into requests. Ex. Instead of “you did not tell me about the event” say “I don’t want to miss another one of these events; what do you think of putting all events in the company calendar for now on? Will you do it? Requests are not demands, communicate that a counteroffer or a negative answer are valid responses DEFENSIVENESS Repeat what you heard and ask for clarification. Ex. “I’m hearing you say that I am not trustworthy. Can you clarify that? ” Show your partner that you respect and trust him and that his mage is not at stake (assuming this is true). This will lower his defenses and you’ll have a more productive conversation. CONTEMPT Express your feelings, identify the unwanted behavior, and indicate a willingness to resolve the situation. Speak appropriately for the cultural context you’re in. Example, “Hey, Katy. Cool out. I’m starting to get angry work this out. I don’t like it when people call me names. Can we like friends? ” Avoid “you” statements Be curious, look for intention STONEWALLING How can you self-soothe? Do you have a meditation or relaxation practice Look at your fear of speaking; what information is it giving you? What part of your identity is at stake? If your partner is stonewalling you, take a look at what you are doing that makes him not feel safe expressing himself. FOCUS ON HOW YOU WANT TO BE REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOUR PARTNER DOES.

11 Be AGILE not just Do AGILE Source: CRR Global, Organisational & Relationship Systems Coaching Manual Connection Matters