EMR 2013 Varndean and Dorothy Stringer Schools present

EMR 2013

Varndean and Dorothy Stringer Schools present Talking to your teens about Bullying and E-safety Tuesday 15 th November 2016 Please complete the quick quiz on your tables EMR 2013

Housekeeping • Toilets • Fire exits EMR 2013

Working agreement • • • Listen to each other Respect the right to express different views Challenge the idea, not the person Confidentiality Take care with sharing personal information Raise individual issues / school-based issues outside of this session • Right to pass • Any others? EMR 2013

Aim of this evening • To provide support to parents and carers by exploring issues related to bullying and E-safety and young people • To raise awareness of support offered by the schools as part of the curriculum and pastoral support • To raise awareness of services outside of school EMR 2013

The local picture 1. What % of B&H students agreed or strongly agreed that they felt safe in school? 88% 2. What % of B&H students agreed or strongly agreed that they enjoyed learning in school? 79% 3. What % of B&H students agreed or strongly agreed that their school was good at dealing with bullying? 63% 4. What % of B&H students described themselves as feeling happy often or sometimes? 83% 5. What % of B&H students reported that they had been bullied this term? 14% 6. What % of B&H students said they had someone to tell if they are being bullied? 86% 7. What % of B&H students use social media? 86% 8. What % of B&H students use social media for more than 2 hours a school day? 45% 9. What % of B 7 H students use social media for more than 2 hours a weekend day? 68% 10. Which social media sites do B&H students use? Facebook 85%, Youtube 90%, Snapchat 75%, i. Instagram 75% Both schools are clearly doing well with dealing with bullying EMR 2013

What is Bullying? • Bullying is behaviour by a person or group, repeated over tome, that intentionally hurts others physically or emotionally. EMR 2013

Online bullying • This is bullying like any other but done using digital devices and online forums. • Mobile phones, tablets, PCs • Texts, emails, messages on social media EMR 2013

Prejudice incidents This is a one-off incident which is perceived by the victim or any other person, to be motivated by hostility, prejudice or ignorance, based on a person’s perceived or actual ethnicity, gender, disability, religion, beliefs, sexual orientation or gender identity or their association with someone from one of these groups. EMR 2013

In school • Bullying is addressed in both schools in PSHE/L 4 L. • Students are encouraged to think about how a victim feels • Students are encouraged to challenge bullying and not be a bystander • This is covered in all years in different ways Lets have a go! EMR 2013

Cyber Safety • What do children do online? • https: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=h. K 5 Oe. Geud. BM • Quiz time EMR 2013

Recognising problems In your tables, using your body outline can you highlight how you might identify your young person has a problem with bullying or their E-safety. How else can you identify issues/problems EMR 2013

E-safety Tips Ultimately we want young people to be responsible for their own cyber safety but here a few things that you can do to help 1. Turn off your router at a certain time 2. Set up parent controls on any home IT equipment or use specialist software to set up restrictions 3. Talk about their IT/internet use 4. To allow a Facebook/instagram/twitter account make sure you are a friend or follow them 5. Ensure your child uses a nickname when setting up log in details 6. Encourage public not private conversations 7. Don’t open any emails that you are not sure what they are 8. Make sure they are aware of the CEOP eye. EMR 2013

Talking to your teen • Don’t expect to be able to sit down at the kitchen table and say ‘Right let’s talk about ……. . It won’t work. • Do be prepared to wait for the right time. Teenagers are more likely to want to talk at midnight than at midday. • Don’t try to cover all the issues at the same time. Take it slowly. • Do ask them what they already know, think and believe. • Don’t try to set the agenda yourself. • Do be prepared to share some of your experiences. • Don’t go too far with this sort of disclosure. • Do be prepared to help with setting the boundaries of acceptable behaviour. Be honest and tell them what you think the limits are. This may come as a great relief to them. Finally • Do show your teenager some respect. Good communication is based on the belief that the other person is genuinely interested in who you are, and in what you have to say. EMR 2013

Conversation starters • • • Can you tell me about… What do you think about…(news item / soap opera etc)? Tell me what you know about… It sounds like… How happy are you with things at the moment…? You seem upset / angry / happy / ok about this…? I am sensing this might be difficult for you… Can I just check with you… I feel concerned about what you have told me… EMR 2013

What would you do? • • • Your child is in Year 8. You are helping them with their homework and discover that the word ‘pikey’ has been scrawled over their maths book. You ask about it and they say that other students did this last maths lesson. Your child has been quieter than usual over the last few weeks. Your son is in Year 7 and is overweight. A group of girls in Year 8 have been picking on him and calling him names over the last half-term. He has told his form tutor but this hasn’t stopped. He does not want you to get involved. Your daughter is in Year 11. A mother of the friend of your daughter phones to tell you that there are topless photos of your daughter on Facebook and she is being called a slut in school by other girls. Your son is in Year 7. Since the age of 3 he has dressed at home in clothes that would be seen by others as girls’ clothes. He has suffered from homophobic and other forms of bullying since primary school and now tells you that he wants to change his name to a girls name and be a girl. The school phones you to tell you that your child has been excluded for a day for using prejudiced language against another child and that this incident has been recorded. Your child tells you that their friend has received some nasty text messages, saying things like ‘die’, I’ll get you’, ‘no one likes you’; they are from different numbers and they don’t recognise the numbers. EMR 2013

Working agreement • Parent/carer contracts or agreements • Sharing with other parents • What are the key messages?

Support and help • Student support at Dorothy Stringer • Students should initially speak to their tutor or Head of Year. In serious incident, when these are not available the Heads of School should be contacted • Mr Ward – Head of Lower School • Mr Furini – Head of Upper School EMR 2013

Support and help • Student support at Varndean School: • Students can speak to their form tutor or staff in their school base Both Schools have pages on their website with signposts to many different services and support for students and parents/carers EMR 2013

Support and help Sources of help outside of school • • • www. thinkuknow. co. uk www. Childline. org. uk or 08001111 www. CEOP. police. uk www. NSPCC. org. uk or 0808 800 5000 www. kidscape. org. uk www. bullying. co. uk EMR 2013

Useful guides • http: //www. saferinternet. org. uk/advicecentre/parents-and-carers/parents-guidetechnology • http: //www. connectsafely. org/guides-2/ • https: //www. nidirect. gov. uk/articles/internetterms-and-language-guide-parents EMR 2013

Useful guides • http: //connectsafely. org/wpcontent/uploads/instagram_guide. pdf • http: //www. connectsafely. org/wpcontent/uploads/A-Parent’s-Guide-to. Snapchat. pdf • http: //www. saferinternet. org. uk/advicecentre/parents-and-carers/parental-controlsoffered-your-home-internet-provider EMR 2013

Questions EMR 2013

Further support E-safety evening 9/2/17 @ Stringer Talking to your teens about LGBT 7/2/17 @ Stringer Talking to your teens about drugs 9/5/17@ Varndean EMR 2013

Thank you for your attendance and we hope you have found it useful Please leave us feedback on the sheets as you go Helen Emerson – emr@dorothy-stringer. co. uk Tim Clarke – timclarke@varndean. co. uk EMR 2013