EMOTIONS CH 4 CREATING AND RESPONDING TO MESSAGES

EMOTIONS CH 4 CREATING AND RESPONDING TO MESSAGES

WHAT ARE EMOTIONS? • EMOTIONS ARE THINGS WE FEEL, OUR PASSIONS, SENTIMENTS AND SENSATIONS • EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE- IS THE ABILITY TO UNDERSTAND MANAGE ONE’S OWN EMOTIONS AND TO BE SENSITIVE TO OTHER’S FEELINGS • HOW WE FEEL INFLUENCES HOW WE COMMUNICATE

COMPONENTS TO EMOTIONS Physiological Changes Nonverbal Reactions Cognitive Interpretations Verbal Expressions

Influences on Emotional Expression • PERSONALITY • CULTURE • BIOLOGICAL SEX AND GENDER • SOCIAL CONVENTIONS • SOCIAL ROLES • FEAR OF SELF-DISCLOSURE • EMOTIONAL CONTAGION

Guidelines for Expressing Emotions • RECOGNIZE YOUR FEELINGS-IDENTIFY YOUR SPECIFIC EMOTIONS • CHOOSE THE LANGUAGE-EXPAND YOUR EMOTIONAL VOCABULARY WITHOUT OVER QUALIFYING OR DOWN PLAYING WHAT YOU FEEL • SHARE MULTIPLE FEELINGS-EVEN IF THEY ARE OPPOSITES • RECOGNIZE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FEELING AND ACTING-YOU DON’T HAVE TO ACT ON YOUR EMOTIONS

Guidelines for Expressing Emotions (cont. ) • ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FEELINGS-USE “I” LANGUAGE • CHOOSE THE BEST TIME AND PLACE TO EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS-WAIT FOR THE FIRST “FLUSH” OF FEELING TO SUBSIDE BEFORE YOU EXPRESS YOURSELF.

Managing Difficult Emotions • FACILITATIVE EMOTIONS-EMOTIONS THAT CONTRIBUTE TO EFFECTIVE FUNCTIONING AND COMMUNICATION • DEBILITATIVE EMOTIONS-EMOTIONS THAT HINDER OR PREVENT EFFECTIVE PERFORMANCE AND COMMUNICATION • THOUGHTS CAUSE FEELINGS-HOW WE THINK ABOUT THINGS DETERMINES HOW WE FEEL ABOUT THEM • SELF-TALK-THE NON VOCAL, INTERNAL MONOLOGUE THAT IS OUR PROCESS OF THINKING

Fallacies-Irrational Thinking • FALLACY OF PERFECTION-BELIEVE A WORTHWHILE COMMUNICATOR SHOULD BE ABLE TO HANDLE ANY SITUATION WITH CONFIDENCE AND SKILL EX. “DON’T LIKE TO ADMIT THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO” • FALLACY OF APPROVAL-GO TO INCREDIBLE LENGTHS TO SEEK ACCEPTANCE FROM OTHERS EVEN TO THE EXTENT OF SACRIFICING YOUR OWN HAPPINESS EX. ”ALLOW THE NEED TO PLEASE OTHER’S DICTATE YOUR HAPPINESS” • FALLACY OF SHOULD-THE INABILITY TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN “WHAT IS” AND WHAT “SHOULD BE” EX. “FULL OF COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE WORLD AND PEOPLE” • FALLACY OF OVERGENERALIZATION-WHEN A PERSON BASES A BELIEF ON A LIMITED AMOUNT OF EVIDENCE EX. “MAKES A LARGE CLAIM BASED ON LIMITED INFORMATION”

Fallacies-Irrational Thinking (cont. ) • FALLACY OF CAUSATION-BELIEVE THAT THEY SHOULD DO NOTHING THAT CAN HURT OR CAUSE UNDESIRABLE FEELINGS. EX. "DON'T STAND UP FOR YOURSELF” • FALLACY OF HELPLESSNESS-SUGGEST THAT FORCES BEYOND OUR CONTROL DETERMINE SATISFACTION IN LIFE. EX. "CONTINUALLY SEEING YOURSELF AS A VICTIM” • FALLACY OF CATASTROPHIC EXPECTATIONS-A CONSTANT FEARFUL ASSUMPTION THAT SOMETHING BAD IS GOING TO HAPPEN. EX. "WHEN PEOPLE WON’T MOVE FORWARD BECAUSE OF THE FEAR OF SOMETHING THAT HASN’T HAPPENED”

Minimizing Debilitative Emotions • MONITOR YOUR EMOTIONAL REACTIONS • NOTE ACTIVATING EVENTS-NOTE THINGS THAT TRIGGER YOUR DEBILITATIVE WAY OF THINKING • Specific people • Types of individuals • Settings • Topics of conversation • RECORD YOUR SELF-TALK-START WITH WRITING DOWN YOUR THOUGHTS • DISPUTE YOUR IRRATIONAL BELIEFS • Decide whether the thought is irrational or not • Explain why it doesn’t make sense • Write down an alternative way of thinking that is more sensible and put that thought into action the next time you experience that activating event