Emotional Physical and Spiritual Intimacy by Jim Stephens

Emotional, Physical, and Spiritual Intimacy by Jim Stephens 1

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God’s Original Design for Sex - 3 Times a Week A Revelation by Jim Stephens 3

v This was a “revelation” to me. The inspiration came to me while driving home from church. v It seemed like a culmination of the insights from my various missions following God and True Parents over the last 42 years (Northwestern, UTS, 120 -Day Training, YSWR, ICC, Hometown, Business, BFD, energy healing). v It was received, I believe, based on my relationship with my wife and what we have been practicing in our own marriage Blessing. 5

Why did I create this presentation? v God asked me to. It was not my idea. “Just put it out there. ” v I could feel God’s lonely heart for a family…the original object of creation. v It is my understanding that God would like as many Blessed Couples as possible having more sex. (Note: This is the KEY point. ) v The purpose of heavenly, Blessed sex is to make oneness with God, i. e. to create the “Image of God” on earth and build ideal families (the motto of our Blessing). 6

God’s Original Plan = 3 Blessings The Three Great Blessings (original) Grow Up Get Married Get a Job (Mission/Passion) God Body Mind Joy Example: Jesus True Indiv Adam Joy Joy God Eve True Family Children Grandchildren Descendants Human Creation K. of Heaven Joy Happiness Creativity Service 7

God’s original design for sex: v Men and women would reach the level of maturity and love that Jesus reached, then marry. v Thus “Original” Sex would be between two people who are “images of God” (i. e. Jesus), at one-with-God, and able to easily communicate with God. v Original sex would be a “spiritual experience” and totally without any of the “baggage” we experience. 8

Results of “The Fall” Lost connection to God’s love and truth, and lost individual mind-body unity Love and sex became corrupted, family breakdown and dysfunction, male-female & brother-brother violence and abuse. 9

God’s “Blessing” on any sexual relationship, marriage, and procreation could never be given. Adam and Eve did not reach the quality of heart, unselfishness, and love (i. e. Jesus’ level) where God could grant His approval/support upon their marriage. The first sex was illicit. No sex in history ever had God’s original approval. No marriage in history was ever able to receive God’s Original Blessing. No couple ever received God’s authorization to have children in His lineage. The mission of Adam and Eve as True Parents was never fulfilled. God’s Plan remained to be accomplished. It required a second Adam and Eve. 10

Physical Salvation: True Sex and Sinless Children. 11

Value of the Blessing (i. e. Salvation, Purpose of History) SMM & HJH mission is Adam & Eve role, receive the Blessing, grant salvation/adoption into God’s Lineage Divine Principle/ C. T. One sinless child of God Jesus/N. T. Christian faith, forgiveness, and adoption by Jesus and Holy Spirit 2, 000 Years Physical “salvation”: Original Sin forgiven. Sex restored to God’s side. Sinless children Spiritual Salvation and return to God, but Jesus still only child of God, Original Sin remains Jewish faith and obedience to the law Moses/O. T. 2, 000 Years Satan Adam 1, 600 Years Eve Family 12

God’s permission is now being given for the first time in history on sexual relationships that are within the marriage “Blessing” officiated by True Parents. v True Parents fulfilled the original plan replacing Adam and Eve. v True Parents as physical couple could adopt our physical bodies as “Blessed Couples” into God’s lineage. We then received God’s approval for sex through 3 -Day Ceremony, etc. v God’s authorization is granted to Blessed Couples to have children which are born into God’s lineage and forgiven of Original Sin. v What do we do going forward? Understand the original design of love and sex and try to exemplify it in our lives. 13

Merit of the Age: True Sexual Fulfillment. 14

Many, many profoundly valuable books have been written in the last generation. Many from breakthrough research. 15

One great resource and a summarization of all the research that takes a spiritual perspective: His Brain, Her Brain: How Divinely Designed Differences Can Strengthen Your Marriage. 16

Outstanding books on healthy and fulfilled sexual relationships. 17

The Spectrum of sex. 18

Compiled by Dr. Ellen Kreidman, author of “Light Her Fire” for men and “Light His Fire” for women ü A 10 second kiss everyday. ü A 20 second hug everyday. ü A 5 second compliment every day. ü 30 minutes of dialog every day. ü Date night once a week. ü Schedule intimate time together on the CALENDAR. Make it an appointment. ü Do something spontaneous every 6 months. ü Once every 3 months schedule an overnight stay in a hotel. ü Once a year take a one week vacation just the two of you. ü Make a “Do Not Disturb” sign for your bedroom door. 19

Additions by Jim Stephens ü Hug and kiss whenever you separate. ü Hug and kiss whenever you get back together. ü Eat meals together. ü Do things together. (Do what your partner likes to do occasionally, even if you don’t like it. ) ü Go out for coffee at least twice a month and talk. ü Hold hands and snuggle in bed before going to sleep. ü Kiss “good night” and mean it. ü Call or text during daytime when you are separated. ü Speak to each other with polite words and a respectful heart. ü Use “please”, “thank you”, and “I’m sorry” a lot. ü Study and learn together. ü Keep God in your relationship. ü Make love 3 times a week. 20

There has been an explosion of research on husband-wife relationships and the differences between men and women. This might be called “external truth”. It needs to be connected to the spiritual insights from God’s revelations, or what I call the “internal truth”. 21

Spiritual and Physical Benefits of Sex … recent research. 22

God knew what He was doing at the start. He had it all figured out, even the tiniest of details. Until recently, experts thought that fertilization occurred when enzymes in the head of each sperm, acting like dynamite, blasted through the outer shell of the egg so that one sperm could lodge inside. Today we understand that each egg SELECTS the sperm it mates with, making the first irrevocable decision in one's life. Indeed, rather than passively participating in this drama, the egg opens its shell and literally embraces the sperm it feels attracted to. Pre-Parenting: Nurturing Your Child from Conception by Thomas R, M. D. Verny, Pamela Weintraub 23

New Scientific Research: Taken from Dr. John Gray, Counselor, Author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus Hormones: Husbands and wives bodies are governed by completely different hormones. Husband Wife Primary Neurotransmitters/Neuromodulators Testosterone: Achievements and accomplishments. Flexible. Friendly Motivation. Desire. Wants to “save the day”. Wants to solve problems, fix things. Engaged in life. Dopamine: New and different. Excitement Energy Passion Interest, ability to gather information. Stimulation Motivation Oxytocin: Talking, Sharing, Communication. Cuddling, hugs. Cooperation. “We did it together” Collaboration. Compassion Childbirth and sexual climax. Seratonin: Familiarity. Closeness Intimacy increases seratonin. Men have minimum 20% more dopamine and 20 to 30 or 40 X the testosterone. Men produce seratonin 2 x as fast, store 2 x as much. Women use 8 X faster. 24

Getting Back to the Original Design for Sex Spiritual Give and Receive Action Physical Intimacy and Spiritual Intimacy Spiritual Growth through frequent give and receive physically and spiritually. Many benefits for the spirit body and the physical body 25

Spiritual and Physical Benefits of Sex … new research. For women, sex in marriage leads to higher oxytocin levels. These increase her feelings of trust while also creating incredibly strong feelings of attachment, comfort, and respect for her husband. Sex helps you forget. Oxytocin, which triggers orgasm, has an amnesic effect that lasts up to five hours. Women get an additional benefit. During orgasm the parts of the brain that govern fear, anxiety, and stress are switched off. Reduced depression in women. Prostaglandin, a hormone found in semen, modulates female hormones. Orgasm releases endorphins, producing a sense of well-being and euphoria. Healthier heart. Women who have more sex have higher levels of estrogen, which protects against heart disease. 26

Spiritual and Physical Benefits of Sex … new research. Calming effect. Sex is ten times more effective than Valium, with no side effects. Boosts your immune system. Endorphins stimulate immunesystem cells that fight disease. Sex actually slows the aging process. It lowers cortisol levels in the bloodstream, which reduces stress and slows the aging process. Women who have more sex have higher levels of estrogen, which protects against Alzheimer’s and osteoporosis. Shiny hair, glowing skin. For women, extra estrogen from orgasm makes hair shine. Sweat produced during sex cleanses the pores and makes skin glow. Serotonin produces the afterglow of sex. . 27

Spiritual and Physical Benefits of Sex … new research. Researchers have found ingredients in semen that include mood enhancers like estrone, cortisol, prolactin, oxytocin, and serotonin; also a sleep enhancer, melatonin. Delivering these compounds into the richly vascularized (i. e. many blood vessels) vagina turns out to have major beneficial effects for the recipient. Sex rewires you for pleasure. Each time you share a positive experience with your partner, your brain comes to associate him or her with pleasure. Transform any relationship simply by increasing the number of enjoyable times you share. The most important benefit of sex in the eyes of God is making spiritual oneness with each other and with Him. “They shall become one flesh. ” (Mark 10: 8) That was the Original Design. God wanted to create His own image, male and female, together in oneness as co-creators with Him/Her. 28

God’s design of the male. Taken from Tim & Beverly La. Haye, Book: The Act of Marriage “A normal healthy man has a semen build up every 42 to 78 hours that produces a pressure that needs to be released… If the sexual pressure buildup is not released, it can be very frustrating to his mental and physical well being. ” “In the early years of marriage, frequency of sex is often the source of conflict and disagreement. Usually because the wife doesn’t share or understand the sex drives of normal healthy men. ” “For a man, sex influences his personality, work, motivation, and almost every other characteristic of his life. ” 29

God’s design of the male. Taken from Tim & Beverly La. Haye, Book: The Act of Marriage “Sex drive is intimately linked with his ego. A sexually satisfied husband will develop self-confidence in other areas. Being unsuccessful in bed equals failure in life. ” “If he is a success in bed with his wife, he can often endure academic, occupational, and social failure. In times of defeat, the aggressive demonstration of love by his wife through sex will provide him the needed reassurance to endure and overcome. ” “A secure man becomes a better father, uses better judgment and improves his capacity to love the whole family. ” 30

Blessed Couples Goal: Original Sexual Relations Being a Blessed Couple means the blockage has been removed (the sword guarding the tree of life) so that we can freely engage in sex with permission from God. It becomes the mission of a Blessed couple to fulfill God’s Original Ideal and Design for marriage and sex. So what is God’s original design for sex? God created the perfect complimentary relationship in male and female. They were to interact sexually often in order to grow in harmony and oneness. Their relationship would go through a growing process in order to become the Image of God’s plan was a “win-win” for joy and happiness for both partners and God and the family. 31

Perspective on Sex according to Father Moon 32

Value of Sex according to Father Moon 1. Intimacy and oneness between husband wife. The purpose of oneness between husband wife is in order to make oneness with God. Both spiritual and physical. 2. Giving birth to sinless children and God’s blood lineage. [Man + Woman] ▬►[Husband + Wife] ▬► [Father + Mother] 3. Keeping good health. Anti-aging. (Stronger immune system. ) Long life. 33

Father Moon said about sex: 7 quotes The land of settlement, where the ideal of God’s love can be perfected, begins from the place where concave and convex unite and a relationship of the first love is established after marriage. The first love relationship of man and woman represents the place of perfection of the object partner of God. This is the core of the universe. When this moves, the entire universe goes back and forth in harmony. It is the base for the Kingdom of Heaven on earth and in spirit world. 34

Father Moon said: The sexual organs are the palace of love, the palace in which eternal life is born, the palace that inherits the future descendants and lineage which will succeed to the eternally unchanging traditions of heaven. It is the palace of true life, true love and true lineage. It is the most precious place of all. You cannot do anything you like with it. You cannot use it without permission from God. It is a place that cannot be touched by anyone other than your husband or wife, who has gained the approval of God and the universe. (216 -207, 1991. 3. 31) 35

Father Moon said: Where is the original place through which not only man and woman, but also God Himself can be perfected? Where can you perfect the love of God and man and woman? Where is the central place of settlement? This is the question. If you don’t know the answer to this question, you cannot expand extend the heavenly kingdom of the ideal of love on earth. Is that place of settlement the eyes, nose, hands, or feet? Where is it? It is the sexual organs. (261 -167, 1994. 6. 9) 36

Father Moon said: From now on, please make the absolutely pure sexual organ, unique sexual organ, unchanging sexual organ and eternal sexual organ the basis of your pursuit of God. These organs are the basis of love, life, lineage and conscience. (279 -257, 1996. 9. 15) 37

Father Moon said: The sexual relationship between a husband wife is the root of life, the root of ideal, and the root of happiness. Freedom exists on that foundation. Happiness can also exist on that foundation. (March 20, 1994) 38

Father Moon said: All the harmonies and phenomena of this world that come out of love are as a fragrance to God wants to live within this beautiful fragrance and so He is seeking it. God’s love descends to the place of sexual relationship between husband wife. This is where all creation and the universe are harmonized. (Blessed Family - 889) 39

Review of some of Father Moon’s words on sex v Where the ideal of God’s love can be perfected. v The place of perfection of the object partner of God. v The core of the universe. v Original place through which not only man and woman, but also God Himself can be perfected. v The basis of your pursuit of God. v The sexual relationship between a husband wife is the root of life, the root of ideal, and the root of happiness. v God’s love descends to the place of sexual relationship between husband wife. 40

Practical sex. Ideal sex. Hollywood sex. “Gourmet” sex 2 to 4 hrs in bed ~ 3 times a month. Date your wife. Plan ahead. Schedule it. Taken from Dr. John Gray Good sex “home-cookin’” 20 to 30 minutes ~ Once a week. “Quickie” sex 3 to 10 minutes ~ 3 times/week Requires good communication and cooperation. 41