EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE How to Use Emotional Intelligence to

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EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE How to Use Emotional Intelligence to Get Results Dr. Martin Armstrong, CPP,

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE How to Use Emotional Intelligence to Get Results Dr. Martin Armstrong, CPP, MBA, DBA

Intellectual Intelligence • Ability to: ▫ ▫ Learn about Learn from Understand Interact

Intellectual Intelligence • Ability to: ▫ ▫ Learn about Learn from Understand Interact

Intellectual Intelligence • Adaptability to a new or changing environment • Capacity for knowledge

Intellectual Intelligence • Adaptability to a new or changing environment • Capacity for knowledge and the ability to acquire it • Capacity for reason and abstract thought • Ability to comprehend relationships • Ability to evaluate and judge • Capacity for original and productive thought 3

Emotional Intelligence • Defined as… The ability, capacity, skill or a self-perceived ability to

Emotional Intelligence • Defined as… The ability, capacity, skill or a self-perceived ability to identify, assess, and manage the emotions of one’s self, of others, and of groups. �Self-Awareness �Self-Management �Social Awareness �Relationship Management Emotional Intelligence 2. 0 - Bradberry & Greaves, 2009 4

What is Emotional Intelligence? 5

What is Emotional Intelligence? 5

What is Emotional Intelligence? Personal Self. Awareness Self. Management Social Awareness Relationship Management 6

What is Emotional Intelligence? Personal Self. Awareness Self. Management Social Awareness Relationship Management 6

IQ EI Personality 7

IQ EI Personality 7

I think rationally here I “feel” here Information enters here 8

I think rationally here I “feel” here Information enters here 8

Self-Awareness Strategies • Ask yourself: ▫ What am I feeling? ▫ Why am I

Self-Awareness Strategies • Ask yourself: ▫ What am I feeling? ▫ Why am I feeling it? • Keep a journal or log • Reflect on your behaviors • Know your triggers • Seek feedback 9

Self-Management Strategies • The ABC’s of Life A – Activating event B – Belief

Self-Management Strategies • The ABC’s of Life A – Activating event B – Belief about the activating event C – Consequential emotional response 10

Beliefs “My director believes in me” “My director is trying to ruin my life!”

Beliefs “My director believes in me” “My director is trying to ruin my life!” 11

Self-Defeating Beliefs • Add D ▫ Dispute our thinking ▫ Replace self-defeating, irrational beliefs

Self-Defeating Beliefs • Add D ▫ Dispute our thinking ▫ Replace self-defeating, irrational beliefs with rational logical beliefs 12

Self-Management Strategies • Choose your battles • Mix pleasantness with anger • Realign your

Self-Management Strategies • Choose your battles • Mix pleasantness with anger • Realign your expectations • Speak to someone that is not emotionally invested • Recognize the irrationality of worry 13

Self-Management Strategies • Ask anxiety inventory questions ▫ What is going on here? ▫

Self-Management Strategies • Ask anxiety inventory questions ▫ What is going on here? ▫ What’s the worst thing that could happen? ▫ How likely is that? ▫ Is it in or out of my control? ▫ Is there anything I can do? 14

Social Awareness Strategies • Greet people by name • Notice things about people •

Social Awareness Strategies • Greet people by name • Notice things about people • Watch body language and tone • Listen • Step into their shoes • Seek the whole picture • Pay attention to the mood in the room 15

Relationship Strategies • Be open and curious • Acknowledge other people’s feelings • Have

Relationship Strategies • Be open and curious • Acknowledge other people’s feelings • Have an “open door” policy • Explain your decisions • Tackle a tough conversation • Take feedback & give constructive criticism 16

Putting People at Ease • Make everyone feel like they belong • Portray positive

Putting People at Ease • Make everyone feel like they belong • Portray positive emotions • Make people feel comfortable 17

Balance Work and Life 18

Balance Work and Life 18

The Johari Window 19

The Johari Window 19

Difficult Conversations Personal Inventory Self Awareness Take an inventory of your state of mind

Difficult Conversations Personal Inventory Self Awareness Take an inventory of your state of mind Self Management Plan for your triggers of frustration and anger 20

Difficult Conversations Social Inventory Social Awareness Determine the emotional level of the team member

Difficult Conversations Social Inventory Social Awareness Determine the emotional level of the team member Relationship Management Address problems directly with an open ear 21

Dealing With People You Can’t Stand 1. Do nothing 2. Vote with your feet

Dealing With People You Can’t Stand 1. Do nothing 2. Vote with your feet 3. Change your attitude 4. Change your behavior 22

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Tank ▫ Your Goal: Command Respect 23

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Tank ▫ Your Goal: Command Respect 23

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Sniper ▫ Your Goal: Bring the Sniper

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Sniper ▫ Your Goal: Bring the Sniper Out of Hiding 24

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Know-It-All ▫ Your Goal: Open their mind

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Know-It-All ▫ Your Goal: Open their mind to new information and ideas 25

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Think-They-Know-It-All ▫ Your Goal: Give his/her bad

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Think-They-Know-It-All ▫ Your Goal: Give his/her bad ideas the hook 26

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Grenade ▫ Your Goal: Take control of

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Grenade ▫ Your Goal: Take control of the situation 27

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Yes Person ▫ Your Goal: Get commitments

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Yes Person ▫ Your Goal: Get commitments you can count on 28

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Maybe Person ▫ Your Goal: Help them

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Maybe Person ▫ Your Goal: Help them learn to think decisively 29

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Nothing Person ▫ Your Goal: Persuade the

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Nothing Person ▫ Your Goal: Persuade the Nothing Person to talk 30

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The No Person ▫ Your Goal: Transition to

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The No Person ▫ Your Goal: Transition to Problem Solving 31

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Whiner ▫ Your Goal: Form a Problem-Solving

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Whiner ▫ Your Goal: Form a Problem-Solving Alliance 32

Emotional Intelligence • Emotional Intelligence is a highly flexible skill • Individuals need to

Emotional Intelligence • Emotional Intelligence is a highly flexible skill • Individuals need to develop an active awareness of their emotions and appropriately manage their behaviors • Individuals with high emotional intelligence carry a heightened awareness of other’s emotions and use this knowledge to build positive social relationships • Effective leaders exhibit behaviors that correspond to high-levels of emotional intelligence

What Drives You? 34

What Drives You? 34

NO Regrets -

NO Regrets -

THANK YOU CONTACT INFORMATION Dr. Martin Armstrong – 704. 731. 1715 martin. armstrong@twcable. com

THANK YOU CONTACT INFORMATION Dr. Martin Armstrong – 704. 731. 1715 martin. armstrong@twcable. com 36