Effectively Dealing with Loss Presented by Dr Scott

Effectively Dealing with Loss Presented by Dr. Scott Middleton

Agenda • • Background/Team History The Nature of Grief/Survivor’s Guilt Stages of Grief Problematic Reactions to Loss Effective Copings Strategies Team Culture and Future Prevention Available Assets for Assistance

Team History • We have been here before • Typical Outcomes – Personnel changes – Family reactions – Management changes/Sr. Command oversight – Desire to move on – The Buddy System in action/Shade tree therapy – Shared experience draws team closer

Nature of Grief/Survivor’s Guilt • • • Everyone feels it differently I could have done more/It’s my fault It could have been me I could have planned better If only we would have changed this I can’t stop thinking about it I can’t sleep without dreaming about it I keep playing it through my mind It’s as if I was there right now

Stages of Grief • • Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance The Stages aren’t set in stone Regaining a sense of “Control” is critical Grief and your health/Distress is harmful

Typical/Normal Reactions • • Depressed/Loss of sleep/Loss of appetite Sadness/Tearfulness Low energy/Can’t get through a work-out Can’t focus on my work Feeling lost/Moody Need to talk it through with the other guys Stopping by the cage every day Wanting to pick up the phone and call them

Typical/Normal Reactions • • Reliving event/With different endings Dreaming about the event constantly Imaging yourself in similar circumstances Problems doing similar activities Being more hesitant Questioning if the job is right for you Isolating from team/family/friends Easily agitated/Every demand is too much

Problematic Reactions (After 2 weeks) • • • Drinking more than usual/Time in the museum No feelings at all/Emotional blunting Becoming a porcupine/Leave me alone Angry all the time/Memories altered or lost Can’t sleep after a week/Sleep deprivation Misuse of prescription meds/Pain meds Implosion/Somatization of distress Can’t eat/Work out/Do anything productive Failure to meet work demands/Sick days

Effective Coping Strategies • • • Support your team/Circle around everyone Your family is understanding; talk to them Increase workout regimen/Drive adrenaline Get back into training/Re-focus your energy Three hots and a cot/Use of OTC sleep meds Utilize your MD/Doc Middleton/EAP After 1 -2 months consider medical treatment Keep a future focus/Can’t change the past Faith/Belief in a greater good

Team Culture and Future Prevention • • • Realize that the Team Command has your back This is what we do, but at times it hurts Reduce cynicism/Humanize tough reactions Regularly ask how your co-worker is doing Be a good listener/Don’t repress reactions Focus on future learning not past mistakes Need to become invincible again/Remove doubt Trust your buddies to have your back Peer Counseling networks help

Available Assets (Self/Family) • • HRT Commander/STL/TL/ATL/Buddies Family/Friends Team Medics: Tony/Mike/Rafe can help Phil Kasane/EAP Team Representative Doc Middleton Internal and External EAP Resources Your family Doctor Spiritual support network

Doc Middleton is Here gsmiddleton@yahoo. com Cell: (910) 916 -6900 Home: (910) 695 -7870 -------------------------- QUESTIONS?