EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION How to Use Emotional Intelligence to

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION How to Use Emotional Intelligence to Effectively Communicate in the Workplace Dr. Martin Armstrong, CPP, MBA, DBA

“When you won’t hear someone, most likely, that person won’t hear you. ” - The Everything Leadership Book

Why We Communicate Inform Motivate Persuade Elicit Explore

What do people really hear? • Words account for 7% of the overall message. Intro, Body, Conclusion • Tone of voice accounts for 38% of the overall message. • Body language accounts for 55% of the overall message.

Verify the Message Repeat, Confirm, Correct or Expand Do I understand…

Emotional Intelligence • Defined as… The ability, capacity, skill or a self-perceived ability to identify, assess, and manage the emotions of one’s self, of others, and of groups. �Self-Awareness �Self-Management �Social Awareness �Relationship Management Emotional Intelligence 2. 0 - Bradberry & Greaves, 2009 6

What is Emotional Intelligence? 7

What is Emotional Intelligence? Personal Self. Awareness Self. Management Social Awareness Relationship Management 8

IQ EI Personality 9

Self-Awareness Strategies • Ask yourself: ▫ What am I feeling? ▫ Why am I feeling it? • Keep a journal or log • Reflect on your behaviors • Know your triggers • Seek feedback 10

Self-Management Strategies • Choose your battles • Mix pleasantness with anger • Realign your expectations • Speak to someone that is not emotionally invested • Recognize the irrationality of worry 11

Self-Management Strategies • Ask anxiety inventory questions ▫ What is going on here? ▫ What’s the worst thing that could happen? ▫ How likely is that? ▫ Is it in or out of my control? ▫ Is there anything I can do? 12

“People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care. ” -John Maxwell 13

Social Awareness Strategies • Greet people by name • Notice things about people • Watch body language and tone • Listen • Step into their shoes • Seek the whole picture • Pay attention to the mood in the room 14

Relationship Strategies • Be open and curious • Acknowledge other people’s feelings • Have an “open door” policy • Explain your decisions • Tackle a tough conversation • Take feedback & give constructive criticism 15

Putting People at Ease • Make everyone feel like they belong • Portray positive emotions • Make people feel comfortable 16

Balance Work and Life 17

The Johari Window 18

Difficult Conversations Personal Inventory Self Awareness Take an inventory of your state of mind Self Management Plan for your triggers of frustration and anger 19

Difficult Conversations Social Inventory Social Awareness Determine the emotional level of the team member Relationship Management Address problems directly with an open ear 20

Dealing With People You Can’t Stand 1. Do nothing 2. Vote with your feet 3. Change your attitude 4. Change your behavior 21

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Tank 22

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Sniper 23

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Know-It-All 24

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Think-They-Know-It-All 25

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Grenade 26

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Yes Person 27

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Maybe Person 28

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Nothing Person 29

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The No Person 30

The 10 Most Unwanted List • The Whiner 31

The Value Proposition of Communication • When People Know What is Going On… �Productivity is increased and is more efficient �Motivation is influenced thru behavioral change �Loyalty is derived from informed decision making • Important Communication Guidelines… �Tell them as much as you can �Tell them as soon as you can �Never lie to the receiver of your message Jay, R (1999). The Seven Deadly Skills of Communicating 32

Seven Deadly Skills of Communicating by Jay, R. (1999) Corporate Personality Written Communication With the Team Verbal Communication With the Individual With Senior Management Under Pressure

Written Communication Letters Email Memos Faxes Newsletters

Verbal Communication • Not appropriate? ▫ ▫ When formality is desired Permanent records are needed For legal reasons To avoid long discussions

Verbal & Non-Verbal Communication Words • Simple • Kind • Prepared Tone Body • Correct • Relaxed • Consistent • Uniform • Confident • Relax Listening • Absorb • Attentive • Contact

Communicating with Senior Management • At meetings ▫ Less is more ▫ Practice eye contact ▫ Talk slowly, pause ▫ Ask for support

Communicating with Senior Management Position Problem Options Proposal Delivery Visuals Notes

What the Most Effective People Do Differently • Principles behind connecting ▫ ▫ ▫ It It It increases influence in every situation is all about focusing on others requires communicating beyond using words demands energy involves skill more than natural talent • Practices to become a connector ▫ ▫ ▫ Find common ground Make communication simple Create an enjoyable experience Inspire the listener Be authentic by living what you communicate - John Maxwell Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, 2010 39

CLOSING THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it. ” Lou Holtz 40

THANK YOU CONTACT INFORMATION Dr. Martin Armstrong – 704. 731. 1715 martin. armstrong@twcable. com 41