EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION Being aware of our style Personal
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION Being aware of our style
Personal Communication Style Most of us operate on autopilot most of the time We all need to understand what our natural or preferred style is If we are aware of our style, we know when and how to use it, and when to restrain it We can then tailor our style to get the most out of our communications with others
Transactional Analysis Nurturing Parent Logical, problem solving Adult Natural Child Controlling Self Aware Adapted
The Parent State Nurturing Parent: Notices what others are feeling Concern for others Warmth and empathy Values good relationships Controlling Parent: Makes their expectations clear to others Comfortable taking a lead and directing others Uses seniority to get what they want Uses phrases like “you should” or “you must”
The Child State Natural Child: Acts spontaneously Shows what they are feeling Playful and humorous May demand attention Adapted Child: Conscious of rules, conventions and authority Tries to do what is expected of them Concerned about fitting in May rebel against rules or authority
The Adult State In control of emotions Matter-of-fact tone: “how can we sort this out? ” ‘Hard on the problem, easy on the person’ Clarity about what is negotiable and what isn’t Clear objective for the conversation Prepared to invest in the relationship, but not needing to be liked by the other person
Manager Team Member Parent Adult Child
The Emotional Bank Account Reciprocity is a powerful force in many cultures Actively manage your relationships as if they were investments If you have a strong relationship with someone who perceives you to be an ally, they are less likely to discount your views If we don’t invest in our relationships, goodwill drains away
The Emotional Bank Account Investments Withdrawals That you need to avoid That you may need to make sometimes
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