DRAFT ONLY You Marriage Early Marriage Alternatives Consequences

DRAFT ONLY You Marriage Early Marriage Alternatives Consequences Patrick F. Fagan, Ph. D. Georgetown University April 2013

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DRAFT ONLY For many: Marriage is not in their future Charts from “Knot Now”, by Hymowitz, Carroll, Wilcox and Kaye, 2013

DRAFT ONLY WHY GET MARRIED? But First: Which Marriage? • There is a marriage to fear: Need-Love Marriage • There is a marriage to trust: Gift-Love Marriage • The Difference between the two

DRAFT ONLY Beautiful Insanity • • • Romance Falling in Love Blindness Clear Lens Woman (or man) promises what only God can deliver • St Augustine

DRAFT ONLY Need Love • • Falling in Love Blindness = Need Love The greater the deficit the greater the Need Love • >> The greater the disappointment • The greater the disillusionment • Aside on priests and religious (young vs older)

DRAFT ONLY Broken family background • Unmet needs • Time with child in first two years

DRAFT ONLY Importance of marriage : Why it makes a difference

DRAFT ONLY $82 270 $65 816 Median Income of Households with Children by Family Structure, 2009 $45 248 $90 000 $37 021 $80 000 $70 000 $28 794 Median $60 Income 000 $16 454 $50 000 $40 000 $30 000 $20 000 $10 000 $0 M ied arr ay Alw t tep tac n s-I M arr t ac nt g. I S ied h Co tin ita ab bi ha Co tep g. S in tat ted ara p Se Family Type d e orc Div d ied we do Wi N arr r. M e ev

DRAFT ONLY Percent of Minority Children in Poverty by Family Type, 2009 90 Percent of Minority Children in in Poverty 80 70 60 50 81 40 58 30 20 33 19 10 0 tac -In ys a w l Ma d. A rrie 58 15 t t ac Int g tin tep S ied rr Ma Co bit ita b ha ted tep a oh at S ing 27 22 ra pa Se C Family Type d e orc Div d ied we do Wi Ne ve arr r. M

DRAFT ONLY Source Antovics, K. & Town, R. Am Econ Review V 94, (2004) pp 317 -321 140 Comparative Income % 120 $127 Marriage Premium in Male Income $100 80 60 40 + $27= 20 0 Average Unmarried Male Premium Average Married Male

$546 944 DRAFT ONLY Average Net Worth of Households with Children by Family Structure $337 997 $309 963 $600 000 Average Net Worth $500 000 $400 000 $179 651 $99 494 $300 000 $90 506 $200 000 $57 180 $25 220 $100 000 $0 d M ie arr t tac n s-I ay w l A tep Ma ct ita ab h Co g. I tin ed rat p nta d. S rrie bit ha Co a g tin Ste a ep S Family Type d e orc Div d ied we do Wi Ne ve arr r. M

DRAFT ONLY Of All Black Children (100%): % in Poverty or Not by Married or Unmarried Parents 40 MARRIED NOT-MARR 35 30 25 20 15 IN 10 V O P Y T ER 5 0 Married Not in Poverty Married In Poverty Not Married Not in Poverty Not Married In Poverty NOT IN POVERTY Source: Bureau of the Census, Current Population Survey, 1998

DRAFT ONLY Unmarried Parents Same Parents If Married 3. 93 Million Children 3. 17 Million Children Out of Poverty In Poverty Children in Poverty Source R Rector (Heritage Fdn) : Analysis of CPS 2001 0. 75 Million Children

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DRAFT ONLY Retreat from Marriage: Black Men (25 -54) by Education Level

DRAFT ONLY Retreat from Marriage: Black Men (25 -54) Unemployment Differentials Marriage (pink) and non-Marriage (blue)

DRAFT ONLY GPA English/Math by Family Structure Source: Adolescent Health Survey, Wave I. Adolescents grade 7 -12. 2. 90 Average GPA Enligsh/Math Combined 2. 9 2. 80 2. 70 2. 60 2. 50 2. 40 2. 30 INTACT STEP COHABIT (BOTH COHABIT (ONE NATURAL) DIVORCED NEVER MARRIED

DRAFT ONLY GPA Score Combined English/ Math Source Ad Health Survey Waves 1+2 1995 2. 9 Combined English-Math Score 2. 9 2. 85 2. 8 2. 75 2. 7 2. 65 2. 6 2. 55 2. 45 Weekly<Monthly<Yearly Never Frequency of Religious Attendance

DRAFT ONLY GPA

DRAFT ONLY Family Structure: Comparative Rates Of Youth Incarceration 4 3. 7 Comparative Rates of Incarceration 3. 5 3 2. 71 2. 5 2. 07 2 1. 5 1 1 0. 5 0 Raised in Intact Married Parent Family Raised in Mother-Only Family Raised in a Mother and Stepfather Family Raised in a Stepmother Family Source: C. Harper and S. Mc. Lanahan, “Father Absence and Youth Incarceration, ” ASA Annual Meeting, San Francisco, August 1998. Data from the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth.

DRAFT ONLY Relative Rates of Physical Abuse by Family Source NIS-4, 2010 Structure 12 10. 3 10 8 6 5. 2 4. 3 4 2 3. 1 3. 6 1. 0 0 Always Intact Single Parent Married Family Not living with Intact Cohabiting. Step Married Step Cohabiting Family either parent Family

DRAFT ONLY Relative Rates of Sexual Abuse by Family Structure Source NIS-4, 2010 25 19. 8 20 15 8. 6 10 4. 8 5 5 1 0 Always Intact Married Family Single Parent Family Intact Cohabiting Step Married Family Not living with either parent Step Cohabiting Family

U. S: Partner / Spouse Violence Against Mothers Over 20 With Children under 12 DRAFT ONLY Source DOJ Nat Crime Victimization Survey 1999 35 33 30 Rate Per 1, 000 25 20 15 15 10 5 4 6 0 Married Widowed Married+Div+Sep. Never Married Combined

DRAFT ONLY U. S: Partner / Spouse Violence Against Mothers Over 20 With Children under 12 Source DOJ Nat Crime Victimization Survey 1999 35 33 30 Rate Per 1, 000 25 20 15 15 10 5 4 6 0 Married Widowed Married+Div+Sep Combined Never Married

DRAFT ONLY Putting it off til successful • • Individual vs Couple Entwined vs Free Standing Looking Seeking / Dating Courtship / Friendship Marriage Beginning

DRAFT ONLY Young Marrieds • • Beginning Fist year First child First Blush Fading Rose Blossoming Thorns Deep Friendship / Companion / Unity Goal

DRAFT ONLY For 16 -23 year olds: What to do in matters sexual » Friendship » Chastity » Good times

DRAFT ONLY How NOW affects marriage down the road • • • Sexuality (deeply us) Freud, JPII Dissipation of energy / resources Friendship capacity To give Research on giving “Who Really Cares” Arthur Brooks • Unhappy ? Find someone in real need

DRAFT ONLY THE INDIVIDUAL AND PORNOGRAPHY • Pornography is addictive, and neuroscientists are beginning to map the biological substrate of this addiction. • Desensitized to their type of pornography • Higher tolerance for abnormal sexuality, including rape, sexual aggression, and sexual promiscuity. • Produces stronger notions of women as commodities or as "sex objects. " • Greater sexual permissiveness, out-of-wedlock births and STDs. • Child-sex offenders are more likely to view pornography regularly or to be involved in its distribution.

DRAFT ONLY Porn-culture epidemic THE FAMILY AND PORNOGRAPHY • Married men feel less satisfied and less emotionally attached to their wives. Wives notice and are deeply upset by the difference. • Pornography use is a pathway to infidelity and divorce. • Among couples affected by one spouse's addiction, two-thirds experience a loss of interest in sexual intercourse. • Both spouses perceive pornography viewing as tantamount to infidelity. • Pornography viewing leads to a loss of interest in good family relations.

Number of Non-Marital Sexual Partners Versus Percent in a Stable Marriage Source NSFG 1995 DRAFT ONLY

Age of First Intercourse Versus Number of Sexual Partners Source: NSFG 1995

The More Sexual Partners the More Likely to Abort Source NSFG 1995 60 52 Percent who have abortions later 50 43 39 40 31 34 30 25 18 20 19 12 10 8 0 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 -10 11 -15 NUMBER OF NON MARITAL SEXUAL PARTNERS IN LIFETIME 16 -20 21+

Non-Marital Sexual Partners and Out-of-Wedlock Births Percent of Sexually Active Women Aged 15 -44 with Children Source: CDC, National Center for Health Statistics, National Survey of Family Growth, 1995 60% 55. 21% 49. 45% 49. 99% 50% 44. 02% 40. 02% 49. 89% 47. 55% 42. 66% 40% 32. 89% 30% 20% 16. 29% 10% 1. 71% 0% Virgin at Had Pre. Time of Marital Sex First with First Marriage Husband 1 2 3 4 5 6 -10. 11 -15. Number of Lifetime Voluntary Non-Marital Sexual Partners 16 -20 21+

Non-Marital Sexual Partners And Single Motherhood Source: CDC, National Center for Health Statistics, National Survey of Family Growth, 1995 Percent of Sexually Active women Aged 15 -44 with Children 60% 56. 98% 53. 07% 50. 30% 48. 13% 47. 03% 6 -10. 11 -15. 44. 16% 40% 36. 48% 38. 81% 30. 21% 30% 20% 10% 7. 09% 0% 0 1 2 3 4 5 Number of Lifetime Non-Marital Sexual Partners 16 -20 21+

DRAFT ONLY Annual Rejection Ratio: For Every 100 Children Born Sources: CDC/ NCHS report series 100. 0 90. 0 80. 0 70. 0 60. 0 Divorce 50. 0 40. 0 30. 0 20. 0 10. 0 OWB 00 20 98 19 95 19 90 19 85 19 80 19 75 19 70 19 65 19 60 19 55 19 19 50 0. 0

DRAFT ONLY Charts from “Knot Now”, by Hymowitz, Carroll, Wilcox and Kaye, 2013

DRAFT ONLY Charts from “Knot Now”, by Hymowitz, Carroll, Wilcox and Kaye, 2013

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DRAFT ONLY Other Religious and non Religious Groups: Natural Law, Transcendentals, Religion.

DRAFT ONLY The Five Basic Institutions Five Basic Tasks Government Market School Church Family Instrumental Relational

DRAFT ONLY Fundamental Capacities Force / Benevolence Work Intelligence Reflection Sexuality

DRAFT ONLY Fundamental Tasks Of the Individual Gov School Market Church Family

DRAFT ONLY Fundamental Tasks Of the Couple School Gov Family Market Church

DRAFT ONLY Fundamental Tasks Of the Family Gov Market School Church Family School Gov Family Market Church

DRAFT ONLY Fundamental Tasks Of Society Gov Market School Family Church Family School Gov Family Market Gov Church Couple School Gov Family Market Church School Family Market Church

DRAFT ONLY Fundamental Needs Of Society Safety & Justice Material Goods To Know To Mate & Produce the Next Generation Goodness & Meaning

Belonging: Male + Female Society At Large Family Child / Adult Father Mother DRAFT ONLY

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DRAFT ONLY Society’s Foundational Relationship

DRAFT ONLY The Non-Thriving Marriage / Child Relationship

DRAFT ONLY Society’s Foundational Relationship

DRAFT ONLY Free To Choose Not Free to Choose The Consequences

DRAFT ONLY Contact • PFF@FRC. ORG • www. MARRI. us/Powerpoints