Do Men and Women Show Evidence of Reciprocal

Do Men and Women Show Evidence of Reciprocal Liking While Speed-dating? Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel Northwestern University

Reciprocity and Attraction (non-romantic) o o Early studies: We tend to like people who like us (Backman & Secord, 1959) David Kenny: 2 ways to measure reciprocity of liking n n n Dyadic – If I uniquely like you, do you uniquely like me? Generalized – Are “likers” also liked in turn? The answer to both is typically “yes”

Reciprocity and Attraction (non-romantic) o From Kenny (1994) Study Generalized Dyadic Burleson (1983) . 27 . 26 Chapdelaine, Kenny, & La. Fontana (1994) . 58 . 42 Kenny & Bernstein (1982) xx . 29 Dabbs & Ruback (1987) . 36 . 13 Kashy (1988) . 09 . 28 Park & Flink (1989) -. 10 . 18 Burleson (1983) . 12 . 49 Curry & Emerson (1970) -. 26 . 48 Malloy & Albright (1990) xx . 75 Newcomb (1961) xx . 58 Wright, Ingraham, & Blackner (1985) . 49 . 74 First Encounters: One on one First Encounters: Groups Long-term acquaintance r =. 43 r =. 32

Reciprocity and Attraction (romantic) o Participants’ recall of falling-in-love experiences typically involve reciprocity n n o Ex: finding out the potential partner was interested in you (Aron, Dutton, Aron, & Iverson 1989) But it could still be as (or more) common that we are uninterested in the people who like us What about playing “hard to get”? (Walster et al. , 1973)

Romantic vs. Platonic Liking o An individual who demonstrates platonic liking for many others is likable (Folkes & Sears, 1977) n o “Likers” are typically nice people, so they are liked in return But an individual who demonstrates romantic liking for many others? n This may come across as unselective or even desperate

Hypotheses o In a purely romantic context… n n Dyadic – Unique liking will be reciprocated (a positive correlation as in previous research) Generalized – Likers will be disliked (a negative correlation unlike previous research) o o Should correlate with measures of desperation In other words, dyadic vs. generalized no longer operate in the same direction

Method – Speed-dating o o o 163 Northwestern undergraduates Completed a 30 -minute background questionnaire online prior to the event Met 9 -13 opposite sex individuals for 4 minutes each n o Completed a ~2 minute questionnaire after each date After returning home, participants “yes” or “no” the other participants online n “Matches” can email one another through web portal

Method – Measures (after each date) o Romantic Desire n n n o Chemistry – My interaction partner and I… n n n o …seemed to have a lot in common …seemed to have similar personalities …had a real connection Perceived Romantic Desire n n o I really liked my interaction partner I was sexually attracted to my interaction partner I am likely to say “yes” to my interaction partner I think that my interaction partner really liked me I think that my interaction partner was sexually attracted to me Perceived Unselectivity n To what percentage of the other people here today will this person say “yes”?

Method - Measures o The Social Relations Model – actor, partner, and relationship effects n n n Actor effect: Average amount Laura liked her dates Partner effect: Average amount Laura was liked by her dates Relationship effects: The amount Laura liked each particular date independently of her actor effect and her date’s partner effect

Results - Variance partitioning Sex Variable Actor Partner Relationship Desire . 09 . 27 . 35 Chemistry . 19 . 11 . 45 Perceived Desire . 25 . 10 . 37 Perceived Unselectivity . 37 . 10 . 53 – e Desire . 16 . 25 . 31 Chemistry . 13 . 21 . 45 Perceived Desire . 26 . 07 . 42 Perceived Unselectivity . 34 . 02 . 64 – e Men Women

Results – Dyadic Effects Romantic Desire (BA) Chemistry (BA) Perceived Desire (BA) (relationship) Romantic Desire (AB) (relationship) - Men . 14** . 17* Romantic Desire (AB) (relationship) - Women . 14** . 23*** . 22**

Results – Generalized Effects Romantic Desire (Partner) Chemistry (Partner) Perceived Desire (Partner) Romantic Desire (Actor) - Men -. 42† -. 39 -. 03 Romantic Desire (Actor) - Women -. 42** -. 30† -. 12 § Assumed reciprocity (Romantic desire actor with perceived desire actor) r = ~. 33 § Generalized reciprocity correlation still negative and significant controlling for coder-rated physical attractiveness

Mediation – Why don’t you like me? (Because I’ll say yes to anyone!) Unselectivity (Partner) β =. 34*** Desire (Actor) β = -. 16* β = -. 30*** β’ = -. 25** Sobel z = 1. 85, p =. 065 Desire (Partner)

Results – Personality correlates Measure “I sometimes feel as though I would date anyone who is interested in me” ♂ Desire ♀ Desire (actor) (partner) . 23* -. 20† . 17 -. 30*

Mediation – Why do I like you? (Because I’m desperate!) Desire (Actor) β =. 19* Self-report Desperation β = -. 26*** β = -. 24* β’ = -. 19* Sobel z = 1. 99, p =. 047 Desire (Partner)

Results – Personality correlates Measure ♂ Desire ♀ Desire (actor) (partner) “I sometimes feel as though I would date anyone who is interested in me” . 23* Time since last romantic physical contact . 20† -. 45** -. 22† # sex partners in past year -. 07 . 32** -. 04 . 19 # romantic physical contact partners in past year -. 16 . 48** . 01 . 12 -. 20† . 17 -. 30* -. 27*

Results – Personality correlates Measure “I expect that I will be interested in going on a date with _____% of the people I meet speed-dating” ♂ Desire ♀ Desire (actor) (partner) . 25* -. 24* . 27* -. 26* “I expect that _____% of the people I meet speed-dating will be interested in going on a date with me. ” . 15 -. 03 -. 10 . 16 “Members of the opposite sex that I like tend to like me back” . 05 . 26* -. 11 . 38** Extraversion -. 10 . 33** -. 09 . 12 Conscientiousness . 14 -. 02 -. 22† . 27*

A procedural bias? o o At least 3 separate teams of speed-dating researchers have reported a large sex difference (in the male direction) in “yessing” But men are always the ones rotating, even at professional speed-dating events Could there be something empowering about rotating that results in a higher yessing rate? At 4 of our events, men rotated, and at 3 of the events, women rotated

Rotation interactions

Discussion o o Found a positive dyadic reciprocity correlation (if I uniquely like you, you tend to uniquely like me back) Found a negative generalized reciprocity correlation for both men and women n o Appears to be related to desperation / unselectivity Romantic liking appears to come in one of two “flavors” n The flavor can be determined in only 4 minutes!

Thank you o o o o o Candida Abrahamson David Kenny Wendi Gardner Dan Ariely Daniel Mochon Jacob Matthews George Loewenstein The Northwestern Class Alliance The University Research Grants Committee o o o Layla Bermeo Debra Blade Christine Brooks Bonnie Buik Madelaine Eulich Megan Graney Jeff Jablons Kristin Jones Julie Keller Jennifer Leyton Kaidi Liu o o o Mallory Martino Ashley Mason Jesse Matthews Abby Mitchell Jennifer Rosner Seema Saigal Sarah Scarbeck David Sternberg Laura Thompson Ashley Treadway Stephanie Yang