DISCURSIVE ESSAY Feedback Guidelines Structuring Your Essay 1

DISCURSIVE ESSAY Feedback / Guidelines

Structuring Your Essay 1. Introduction • Capture the reader’s attention • Make the topic clear including relevant background information. • DON’T presume the reader knows what you are talking about. • If you are writing a persuasive piece you should set out your stance.

Sample Introduction 1 “Video games cause violence”. The alliterative title lends itself to rolling off the tongue and sure, it sounds good, but how true is it? Video games such as the Grand Theft Auto series and Madworld are well known for their gory graphics and sadistic storylines, but can playing them turn an ordinary human being into a murdering psychopath? The evidence says not, but parents and sceptics continue to believe otherwise and blame the increasing popularity of video games for violent crimes committed by teens and young people. Sample Introduction 2 Crimes have different levels of punishment. The level of punishment is decided on the level of harm inflicted on a person or society. The punishment that is considered the worst is the death penalty (capital punishment). Only a few countries allow the death penalty to be subjected onto criminals. The most famous being the USA.

Sample Introduction 3 Think about school. Sitting in a classroom with twenty-nine other students. One teacher. Yet another lesson about alcohol or driving too fast. Don’t get me wrong, of course they are important but surely mental health is as important if not more so than those two topics. However, there is next to no awareness of it in schools, an issue that affects so many people in society today and there is no exposure of it. No information about the signs of it, what to look out for, how to attempt to cope. This is why there has to be more awareness in schools.

Body Paragraphs • Set out your ideas in a logical sequence • Time based? Past, present, future? • Start with minor arguments, progress to powerful points. • MAKE ONE CLEAR POINT PER PARAGRAPH • Use connecting phrases to link paragraphs.

Structuring Your Essay (Cont) Body Paragraphs Structure – PEEL Point – Make a clear statement of the point or argument you are about to explore specific to the TASK – TOPIC SENTENCE (it may need more than one sentence to make your point clear) Evidence – Statistics, information from an article, comments by experts, surveys. Explain – Help the reader understand why this evidence or information is important – “These statistics make it clear that…” LINK – Comment on the significance of this argument to the topic as a whole and link to the following paragraph if possible.

Sample Body Paragraph 1 Those against the plan of the Aberdeen bypass (AWPR) have varied concerns. Some are concerned about the negative impact on the environment that such an extensive development would have. Chief Executive of Friends of the Earth Scotland, Stan Blackley said “The Scottish Government seems addicted to tarmac yet has set itself demanding targets to meet with regard to reducing Scotland’s carbon emissions and tacking change”. He also says “This new road will not help them in this regard and shows that Scottish ministers just aren’t able to see the bigger picture. You can’t cut carbon emissions while simultaneously building massive new roads that create more traffic and development”. This is a very strong point about the climate being damaged. Richard Dixon, director of WWF Scotland said “It is deeply disappointing that the court have thrown out this challenge from community campaigners to stop the Aberdeen bypass”.

Sample Body Paragraph 2 • On television and in newspapers and magazines traveller families are seen with flash cars and extravagant dresses, non travellers expect this to be the norm for traveller families but for many this could not be further from the truth. One third of the gypsy population is homeless, it suffers from the highest rates of infant mortality, the lowest life expectancy and highest rates of illiteracy of any ethnic group. Furthermore, a loss of traditional living, a pressure to live a settled life and illiteracy all add to the issue of poverty. Gypsy travellers are often regarded as being work-shy, many gypsies lost their lives fighting for the wars of the previous century. Also, because of the negative press gypsies receive, employers are often hostile towards gypsies, therefore not employing them. The work that they’d receive is often undercut by Eastern European workers prepared to work for lower wages.

Structuring Your Essay (Cont) Conclusion • Remind the reader of the subject and the strongest points you have examined. • Try to use fresh or varied expression so you don’t repeat yourself. • DON’T introduce new material • Leave the reader feeling as though you have explored the subject carefully and with authority.