Developing Close Relationships FRIENDSHIP A friend Often knows

Developing Close Relationships FRIENDSHIP

A friend… �Often knows how you feel about certain things without being told. �Is someone who shares many of your viewpoints, especially on subjects you consider important. �Is someone who never talks about you behind your back.

�Is someone you can share your most important secrets with and not worry that anyone else will be told.

Friends… � 1. connect you to what is happening around you � 2. allow you to share your thoughts, your hopes, and your dreams

Important Qualities of a Friend… �Loyalty �Trust �Affection �Supportiveness

Friends can be important to… �Provide emotional support �Help you believe that are a worthwhile person �Help you to expand your knowledge, ideas, and perspectives �Help you meet your needs and reach your personal goals �Share your hopes, concerns, and ambitions

Friendships… �Are based on people talking to each other and sharing thoughts, feelings, and ideas �Requires communication, and this is the channel that connects you to others �Will understand the need to change and grow without fearing the friend will no longer be your friend (the sign of true friendship is to allow someone to grow) �You will be able to trust each other’s independence

Close friendships with a person of the opposite sex… �Is not uncommon during the teen years �Can be a testing ground for the honesty, truth, respect, and communication that is critical to any lasting malefemale relationship �May remain as a very special relationship for your entire life �May also grow into a more serious emotional relationship later on because the basis for mutual understanding has been established

Reasons for dating: �Gender identity �Weaning from family �Social competence �Communication skills �Assessing ego needs �Clarification of life philosophy

�Coping with sexual feelings �Relating to other sex �Developing meaningful relationships �Self-understanding �Others?

Dating Patterns

Functions of Dating… �As people date, they not only have fun, they learn more about themselves �Through give-and-take of dating relationships, they also learn how to get along with others �Interpersonal skills are improved as communication skills develop �Encourages good peer relationships and helps you learn to evaluate personalities

�Helps you become better able to discover those personality traits that appeal to you and those that do not �Helps make you aware of the demands and restrictions involved in getting along with members of the opposite sex which are likely to be more successful marriage partners �Helps you discover yourself and to learn about other people in a variety of settings

Informal Group Dating… �“Just being with people” rather than having structured dates �More emphasis is put on groups of people than on couples �May also be referred to as ‘hanging out’ �Group activities are often planned jointly by males and females, although girls are more likely to initiate plans (or may just meet at popular spot with no actual plans)

�These may enjoy doing things in groups that they might not do alone �This may prepare teens for one-to-one relationships �Persons may pair off with different people for different events, without the pressure of dating �These experiences allow you to form your own ideas about people and about life

�You can share thoughts and feelings while relating to a person as a friend rather than as a prospective mate �Having a variety of experiences with different people will prepare you for making decisions later in life

Formal Pair Dating � 1. You may discover one person you especially like and begin to “see each other” (no long-term commitment) � 2. May begin with one date and may end with just one date (called casual dating) � 3. You may decide not to date anyone else for a period of time, friends may say “you are going out” or steady dating

� 4. that becoming a couple � Will allow you to feel that this person really understands you and cares about you � Allows you to be special to someone � Makes you aware that you can have a great time just being together

� 5. You may notice an increased respect for one another as individuals (dating is a meeting of equals) � 6. Couples can share decision making, express feelings honestly, and develop good communication patterns � 7. As young people are marring at a later age, this gives time to develop more friendships, then when ready can move from friendship to a caring and committed relationship (ready to offer closeness, loyalty, understanding, open communication, and a special sense of intimacy)

Developing Relationships �Carl Sandburg describes this process when he said “People are like onions. You uncover them a layer at a time, and sometimes you cry. ”

�As boy meets girl and are attracted to one another, They share interests Their personal priorities and goals seem to be similar Their relationship deepens which all appears to be a magic formula �But developing a lasting relationship between two people is not that easy.