DESCRIPTIVE WRITING Show Dont Tell Objectives Writing to

DESCRIPTIVE WRITING Show. Don’t Tell.

Objectives Writing “to show” develops universal writing skills: • learning to elaborate ideas with concrete singular detail; • strengthening the writer’s usage of active verbs; • controlling verb tense; and • incorporating a variety of sentence structures to eliminate redundancy and wordiness. To improve critical thinking/reading by • analyzing and observing details closely; • considering thoughtfully the power of diction; and • transferring these skills to readings in other disciplines.

What Showing is NOT Not creating sentences with multiple adjectives that are vague, abstract, or general. � For example, the following list of adjectives reflects the type sophisticated writers avoid: great, immense, huge, scary, dangerous, bad, strong, powerful.

A telling paragraph He gets ready for the race by tying his shoes. Feeling pretty nervous, he examines his shoes. His ankle hurts. He hears the announcer tell the athletes to get ready. After he gets in a position, he hears the gun start the race. All his limbs are moving fast and his feet pound on the concrete.

Editing Symbol - SH The showing sentence relies on � active verbs, � concrete singular nouns � concrete adjectives. For example, “His right foot catches a pile of crumpled white shirts in the doorway. ”

Telling vs. showing A telling paragraph is very general. It doesn’t show the reader pictures and images; any effort that allows the reader to see, hear, taste, and touch concrete objects is weak or nonexistent. The reader does not see the person “tying his shoes” nor does the reader see the actual tying of a shoelace.

The showing paragraph is very specific. It is full of details and examples, which are elaborated The writer shows the reader an athlete “shift the weight of his body to one side while kneeling down to tie his right shoe. ”

The writer, therefore, is like a painter: The pen is his or her brush that is used to make everything come alive.

WHEN “WRITING TO SHOW, ” SHOW FROM THE FIRST! When writing the first sentence, the author begins with images that the reader can see, hear, smell, taste, touch. The goal is to grab the reader’s attention and never let it go. Five threads poke out on the bottom left edge of the cap where the stitching has broken loose.

Use present tense, active verbs Tom begins to slide his fingers underneath the corners of the rectangular envelope. He gently breaks the seal and can hear the loud ripping sound as the solid white envelope dismantles.

Use figurative language & “follow through” with images His clenched fist shoots forward like a bullet out of a barrel as it digs its way into the boy’s soft flesh just below his right eye, leaving a bright red trail of warm blood. Trickling down the side of his face, the stream of blood slowly drags itself over the smooth curve of the boy’s jaw, and then it drips on to the stiff pocket of the freshly starched shirt just above his rapidly beating heart.

Levels of Specificity There are generally 3 levels of specificity � Level One: Introducing an image � Level Two: Describing that image in one full sentence � Level Three: Extending that image into 2 – 3 sentences

Editing Symbol – E 3 Take the image to level 3

Level One: Introduce an image His right foot catches a pile of crumpled white shirts on the floor in the doorway.

Level Two: Describe the image in one sentence His right foot catches a pile of crumpled white shirts on the floor in the doorway, causing him to stumble as he enters the room, the side of his left ankle sliding across the purple burbered carpeting.

Level Three: Extend the image to 2 – 3 Sentences His right foot catches a pile of crumpled white shirts on the floor in the doorway, causing him to stumble as he enters the room, the side of his left ankle sliding across the purple burbered carpeting. As he puts down his left foot he hears the loud snap of the pencil breaking beneath his bare foot. The splintery wood begins to dig into the arch of his foot. As he slowly lifts his left foot, one half of the yellow number two pencil sticks to his foot. He shakes his leg and the pencil piece bounces off the wall and falls to the floor.