Descriptive Techniques Can I identify descriptive techniques and

Descriptive Techniques Can I identify descriptive techniques and use them in my own writing?

What is the technique? • The shoppers sailed up the escalator like a flock of birds. Simile

What is the technique? • The sun smiled down through the crystal clear dome. Personification

What is the technique? • A pack of wild animals rampaged around the food court dripping ice-cream everywhere. Metaphor

What is the technique? • A hot dog sizzled and hissed as it was thrown onto the grill along with its comrades. Onomatopoeia/ personification

What is the technique? • Painful pins and needles prickled my feet as I was finally able to sit down. Alliteration

Simile – comparing one thing to another using ‘as’ or ‘like’. Metaphor – saying that one thing IS another that it has similar qualities to. Onomatopoeia – words that make the sound of the thing they are associated with, e. g. pop, bang, bubble. Alliteration – words that begin with the same letter The five senses – touch, taste, sound, sight, smell Personification – giving an inanimate object the features or actions of a person or animal

Show me don’t tell me. ‘Welcome, ’ said Hagrid, ‘to Diagon Alley. ’ Harry was amazed. They stepped through the archway and then it disappeared after them. There were lots of different shops that sold magical things. There was a cauldron shop, an apothecary and lots of people buying and selling. Harry could see there was also a shop selling owls which was quite noisy. Some boys were looking on the window of the broomstick shop obviously wanting the latest model. Harry quickly looked past them as there was much more to see. There were shops selling things Harry had never even seen before.

Show me don’t tell me. ‘Welcome, ’ said Hagrid, ‘to Diagon Alley. ’ He grinned at Harry’s amazement. They stepped through the archway. Harry looked quickly over his shoulder and saw the archway shrink instantly back into solid wall. The sun shone brightly on a stack of cauldrons outside the nearest shop. Cauldrons – All Sizes – Copper, Brass, Pewter, Silver – Self-Stirring – Collapsible said a sign hanging over them. ‘Yeah, you’ll be needin’ one, ’ said Hagrid, ‘but we gotta get yer money first. ’ Harry wished he had about eight more eyes. He turned his head in every direction as they walked up the street, trying to look at everything at once: the shops, the things outside them, the people doing their shopping. A plump woman outside an apothecary’s was shaking her head as they passed, saying, ‘Dragon liver, sixteen Sickles an ounce, they’re mad. . . ’ A low, soft hooting came from a dark shop with a sign saying Eeylops Owl Emporium – Tawny, Screech, Barn, Brown and Snowy. Several boys of about Harry’s age had their noses pressed against a window with broomsticks in it. ‘Look, ’ Harry heard one of them say, ‘the new Nimbus Two Thousand – fastest ever –’ There were shops selling robes, shops selling telescopes and strange silver instruments Harry had never seen before, windows stacked with barrels of bat spleens and eels’ eyes, tottering piles of spell books, quills and rolls of parchment, potion bottles, globes of the moon. . .

Your tasks 1. Explain, in one paragraph, which version is better and why. 2. Rewrite the paragraph as if you are someone who has just walked into Diagon Alley for the first time. Use at least three of the persuasive techniques and show me rather than tell me.