DESCRIPTIVE ESSAY 2 ASSIGNMENT q To describe a

DESCRIPTIVE ESSAY

2 ASSIGNMENT q To describe a CAMPUS OBJECT utilizing only SENSE DETAILS: -sight -taste -sound -touch -smell q To describe only the physical characteristics; q To appeal to the senses; to use concrete details

3 TOPICS 1) An object on the LCCC main campus — agreed upon by the class

4 PREWRITING

5 PREWRITING 1) 5 SENSES q complete the “Sense Details List” § make 5 lists (one for each sense) § sight, smell, sound, taste, touch q under each, list as many sense details regarding your topic as possible

6 PREWRITING 2) IMPRESSIONS q from the previous lists, make connections between items on the previous lists q group according to likeness q that is, certain sense details are related by the impression that they create o “eerie” o “messy” o “feminine”

7 PREWRITING 3) DOMINANT IMPRESSION q the longest list of impressions from the previous lists will be your dominant impression, § the most striking impression concerning your object q to this list add o adjectives o adverbs o similes/metaphors

8 PREWRITING 4) SYNONYMS q Make a list of synonyms for your Dominant Impression q Consult a thesaurus q “Tidy”: o neat o orderly o organized o uncluttered o anal-retentive/obsessive-compulsive

9 INTRODUCTION

10 INTRODUCTION FUNNEL EFFECT 1. Generalize 1 st o Introduce your topic o Most people, Most college students 2. Narrow your focus o Some o Others 3. Focus on you o Me 4. End with Thesis Statement

11 GENERALIZE 1 st -Introduce your topic -Most college students NARROW your FOCUS -Some -Others FOCUS on YOU -Me THESI S

INTRODUCTION 12 FUNNEL EFFECT: EXAMPLES 1) Owning a car these days is a necessity, for none more than the community college student. Looking around the parking lot at Luzerne County Community College, I usually see three types of cars: the new, high-end graduationgift cars, the modified sports cars, and the rundown first cars. Unfortunately, my car is one of the latter. . Thesis with clear Dominant Impression: My gray 1986 Oldsmobile Omega is a Bondo Buggy, especially in terms of its exterior, interior, and trunk.

13 Thesis Statement

INTRODUCTION THESIS STATEMENT q Comes at the end of the first paragraph (“Funnel Effect”) TOPIC + MAIN IDEA + SUPPORT 14

INTRODUCTION 15 THESIS STATEMENT q Example for Descriptive Essay: o My car is a junker in terms of its…. o Three aspects of my car that make it a junker are the front seat, the back seat, and the trunk. q Contains the Dominant Impression and the 3 aspects/parts of your object that support it. TOPIC: MY CAR D. I. : JUNKER SUPPORT: (1) FRONT SEAT (2) BACK SEAT (3) TRUNK

16 Dominant Impression

INTRODUCTION DOMINANT IMPRESSION *CHARACTERISTICS of a Dominant Impression: q *ADJECTIVE or NOUN* q Declared in thesis statement q Unifying or controlling aspect; ambiance; this will link all of your sense details. q Without this, your details are like marbles without a jar. q The first adjective that comes to mind when you think of your car. 17

18 DOMINANT IMPRESSION SENSE DETAIL ALL SENSE DETAILS RELATE TO & SUPPORT DOMINANT IMPRESSION

INTRODUCTION 19 DOMINANT IMPRESSION *HOW TO CREATE a Dominant Impression: q Write the 5 senses on a blank sheet of paper with room beneath each to write; q Then, list as many details that appeal to a particular sense under its name; q Go from the front of the car to the back & from the outside to the inside; q Then, see which details are related to each other, that paint a similar picture of the object, and group them together; q What these details relate to will be your Dominant Impression.

INTRODUCTION DOMINANT IMPRESSION: EXAMPLES ROOM: q oasis of peace, q tranquil refuge, q feminine/masculine, q reflects personality (*you must briefly define your personality; use the appropriate adjective before the word “personality”: creative personality, artistic temperament), q reflects my musical tastes, q disaster area, q pig sty 20

INTRODUCTION 21 DOMINANT IMPRESSION: EXAMPLES CAR: q total embarrassment, Bondo Buggy, q off-road monster, q Junk Mobile, q typical college student’s (in terms of mess, neglect, . . . ), q typical first car (in terms of price, efficiency. . . ), q “The Black Beauty, ” “The Polar Bear” q giant toy, sporty car, Daddy’s car, q accessorized car (“Pimp My Ride”) (tricked out)

22 BODY

23 DO

BODY: DO’s 24 Qualities of a Strong Descriptive Essay q Each Body paragraph will be an area, aspect of the object. § Top, Middle, Bottom § Front, Inside, Trunk § Left-to-Right Scan of a room q Name, Explain, Illustrate, Reiterate § “One area of this object that gives the impression of futility is the top. ”

BODY: DO’s 25 Qualities of a Strong Descriptive Essay 1)*** DESCRIBE—DO NOT LIST!! q Describe items found in your car/room; q Lists do not describe; lists are more exemplary than descriptive; q This is a descriptive essay using sense details, not an illustrative essay using reasons; q Show rather than tell

BODY OTHER CHARACTERISITICS OF A STRONG DESCRIPTIVE ESSAY 2) SENSE DETAILS only: q Appeal to the 5 senses, not just sight q Appeal to as many of the 5 that are relevant q Consult your prewriting lists § Relying solely on sight leads to LISTS q Number, size, shape, texture, material, odor/scent, taste, sound 26

BODY 27 OTHER CHARACTERISITICS OF A STRONG DESCRIPTIVE ESSAY 3) SIMILES & METAPHORS: q use similes & metaphors to reinforce your D. I. § EX: • “The smell is like…” OR • “The smell reminds me of wet, moldy leaves soaking in a crammed rain gutter for a month. (not a pleasing D. I. ) *WARNING: Similes only support your sense details; they do NOT replace the need for sense details.

BODY OTHER CHARACTERISITICS OF A STRONG DESCRIPTIVE ESSAY 3) SIMILES & METAPHORS: q EX: § rust = • cancer, leprosy, flesh-eating bacteria; § “angry red beast: ” • headlights = giant glaring eyes, grill=hungry chrome jaws, bumper=chin with battle scars • (continue the metaphor throughout, only those details that support “beastly”) 28

BODY 29 OTHER CHARACTERISITICS OF A STRONG DESCRIPTIVE ESSAY 4) Relate all SENSE DETAILS to your DOMINANT IMPRESSION: q all details should reinforce your D. I. § if it does not, omit the detail q all sense details and metaphors should support a single impression q this is NOT a “word picture” in which you describe every aspect of your car § instead, focus your description on your D. I.

BODY Relate all SENSE DETAILS to your DOMINANT IMPRESSION q Repeat THESIS: o “Another aspect of my room that makes it a pig sty is…. ” o at the start of each paragraph q ADJECTIVES and ADVERBS that are synonymous with your Dominant Impression o ADJ: busy = hectic, energetic, bustling, crowded, swarming, packed, jammed, overrun, popular, populous, active, lively 30

BODY 31 OTHER CHARACTERISITICS OF A STRONG DESCRIPTIVE ESSAY 5) Use TRANSITIONS: o between sentences (logically or spatially connect details in each sentence) AND o between paragraphs (repeat thesis) 6) Use proper PN REFERENCE: o o *especially when generalizing in Introduction Everyone has a place he/she could call his/her own. see how the use of “he/she” gets old fast so go plural: Most people have a place they could call their own.

BODY 32 OTHER CHARACTERISITICS OF A STRONG DESCRIPTIVE ESSAY 7) DICTION: —use creative, selective, and pointed details & words (employ concrete/specific word choice) 8) Include an INTRODUCTION (see above) and a CONCLUSION (see below or consult the textbook) 9) Have a CLEAR VISION of the object (best to visit the place you will describe)

BODY OTHER CHARACTERISITICS OF A STRONG DESCRIPTIVE ESSAY 10) Have a CAREFUL SELECTION of DETAILS o only those that support your DI 11) Maintain a consistent point-of-view (POV) o no second person POV “you” o your room, your car, your impression, your details your POV (speak from the “I”) 33

BODY OTHER CHARACTERISITICS OF A STRONG DESCRIPTIVE ESSAY 12) COHERENCE: o develop a logical flow of ideas/details o “camera angle” 13) Paragraph Structure: o 3 Body paragraphs = 3 parts of car/room o do NOT arrange the essay around the senses (each paragraph is not one of the senses) 14) *REMEMBER: o this is NOT a “why” or “because” essay which is supported with reasons o instead, use aspect, feature, characteristic, portion 34

BODY TAKE THE HINT q SENSE DETAILS ONLY q ONLY THOSE SENSE DETAILS THAT SUPPORT YOUR DOMINANT IMPRESSION q IF ANY DETAIL DOES NOT SUPPORT YOUR DOMINANT IMPRESSION—NO MATTER HOW “COOL” OR INTERESTING IT MAY BE—OMIT IT FROM THIS ESSAY 35

SENSE DETAIL 36 SENSE DETAIL DOMINANT IMPRESSION SENSE DETAIL LISTS SENSE DETAIL

37 DON’T

38 BODY: DON’Ts 1) ***DO NOT LIST items found in your car/room; this does not describe; lists are more exemplary than descriptive (this is a descriptive essay using sense details, not an illustrative essay using reasons) (show rather than tell) 2) Do NOT just throw ideas onto the page; make sure you have a Dominant Impression -- a clear purpose, a point; be a movie director and limit what you want the audience to see, to see it/them from your perspective

39 BODY: DON’Ts 3) Do NOT describe emotions, feelings, personality (these are not sense details) 4) Do NOT use pat expressions/clichés (rough around the edges), contractions (I’ve, it’s), poor diction (“things, ” “a lot”), or abbreviations (especially CD=compact disc) 5) *NUMBERS: 3+ syllables/numerals = 350, 1 or 2 syllables/numerals = six, twenty-five; year = 1998, 2005)

40 CONCLUSION

CONCLUSION 41 PURPOSE of CONCLUDING PARAGRAPHS q To stress the importance/relevance of your thesis (SO WHAT? !) q To repeat your purpose q To repeat your thesis (moral, point, lesson, Dominant Impression) q To repeat your main ideas q To give the essay a sense of completeness/finality q To leave the reader with a final impression (*this is your last chance to convince/persuade the reader, so make the most of it!)

CONCLUSION SUGGESTIONS Discuss in full the lesson learned Suggest larger implications of your findings Suggest future papers or research Refer back to your purpose and/or scenario mentioned in your Introduction q Pose rhetorical questions q Offer a 3 rd side to the issue q End with a CLINCHER SENTENCE q q 42

CONCLUSION 43 CLINCHER SENTENCE q Just as you ended each Body paragraph with a concluding sentence that wrapped up that point/paragraph, so too will you end the entire essay q (Thesis Statement : Topic Sentence : : Clincher Sentence : Paragraph Clincher Sentence) q Avoid the empty cliché q Wrap it all up q Relate to your point (for example, if you wrote a process paper on making a PB&J sandwich, end by saying that you are now hungry for one)

44 VISUAL IMPRESSIONS

45 BEDROOM #1

46 BEDROOM #2

47 BEDROOM #3

48 CAR #1

49 CAR #2

50 CAR #3

51 CAR #4

52 Descriptive Essay VS Example Essay

53 Descriptive Essay VS Example Essay q SENSE DETAILS q REASONS q Dominant Impression q Argument/Claim q o o o BODY STRUCTURE: 3 Body paragraphs 3 parts of the room/car Each supported by: sense details ONLY metaphors to support DI q LISTS = prohibited q SHOW q SPATIAL ORDER q o o o o q q q BODY STRUCTURE: 3 Body paragraphs 3 reasons Each supported by: examples descriptive details narratives types/roles LISTS = permissible TELL EMPHATIC ORDER