DeEscalation Training Session 1 Theory background and context

De-Escalation Training Session 1: Theory, background and context Educational Psychology Service/ Inclusion & Wellbeing Service 2020

De-Escalation Training Overview • Session 1: Theory, background and context • Session 2: Strategies and implementation • Session 3: Implementation framework and strategic planning (for senior leadership staff)

What we hope you get out of today’s session… • An overview of the importance of positive relationships, attachments and approaches to supporting distressed behaviour • Sharing of ideas and experiences • Learning from each other’s practice, and reflecting on your own

What this training is not • A quick fix • An easy answer • Specific to your school setting However…. .

What this training can be • An opportunity to share ideas • An opportunity to consider how you can improve and enhance your skills • An opportunity to plan and develop your school improvement plan

Promoting Positive Relationships Policy www. westlothian. gov. uk/article/2607/education-policies-and-procedures

Policy Context “Curriculum for excellence cannot be delivered without good relationships and positive behaviour” Building Curriculum for Excellence Through Positive Relationships and Behaviour (2010) 2

‘Improving Relationships and Promoting Positive Behaviour in Scotland’s Schools’ “Good relationships and positive behaviour across whole school communities are fundamental to the successful delivery of Curriculum for Excellence” “The Scottish Government is committed to building upon this work and will continue to support this through the Positive Behaviour Team” Developing good relationships and positive behaviour in the classroom, playground and wider community is essential for creating the right environment for effective learning and teaching Scottish Government Paper: Better relationships, better learning, better behaviour

Diagram retrieved from Angus Council website: https: //archive. angus. gov. uk/girfec/childatcentre. html

So you’ve had a bad day? ?

Life experiences and influences • We all bring a range of experiences and influences to school. • These influences can impact upon how we react to situations. 14

Discussion Stop • Think of a teacher you admired at school. • What did you admire. .

Revisiting Attachment Theory • Attachment as an evolutionary imperative. It represents: • “a child’s biological tie or bond to her primary caregivers, usually his/her parents. It is a biological system developed through evolution to protect the child…. ” (Newton, 2008, p. 9). • Attachment works on the premise that we are ‘hard wired’ to seek out relationships with others that promote our physical and internal/psychological sense of security. • Attachment tells us about the child’s primary relationships and how it influences their development (eg social, emotional, cognitive). • Early relationships lead to connections in the brain Dr Dianne Camilleri (June 2014)

Revisiting attachment – the secure attachment cycle Anxiety Attachment behaviours Secure Soothed Comfort and caregiving

Secure attachment Adult: v Readily available, sensitive to child’s signals and responsive when child seeks comfort and support v Consistent, reliable and predictable and provides secure base for child to explore from and return to v Child knows their parent will be responsive and attentive if they experience adverse or frightening situation • Child: v Better able to learn v Are more able to make positive attachments in future e. g. with their Teachers v Will be ready to seek help when difficulty arises v Are willing to share the attention of adults with their peers

Revisiting attachment – the insecure attachment cycle Anxiety Attachment behaviours Insecure Unreliable soothing No comfort/inconsistent comfort and caregiving

What do insecurely attached children need? Ø Reliable adults with time to respond Ø Predictable interactions and routines (or changes explained clearly) Ø Adults who respond to their needs at the appropriate developmental stage Ø Clear boundaries Ø Specific attachment figures Ø Challenge to the negative internal working model through sensitive interaction Ø Mind-mindedness

How does attachment shape the brain? • Rapid development & organisation in the early years • Periods of growth are also periods of vulnerability – higher susceptibility to environmental influences • Sequential development – neurons wire together and create paths • Early life experiences can have a life long impact (Perry, 2006, 2012)

How does attachment shape our Brain development? • Care received as a baby strongly influences how the brain “wires” itself • For social and emotional development, the most crucial influence is the emotional connection with the caregiver: the “attachment relationship” • Sensitive and secure interactions and experience are linked to a wide range of positive outcomes: the opposite is also true • Adolescence and “re-wiring”

Internal Working Model • The early experiences we have lead to a young persons internal working model. • Expectations and beliefs about: Ø My own and others behaviour Ø Whether or not I am loveable and worthy of love Ø Whether or not others are available, interested and able to help/protect/support me

Jamie’ story • Jamie is an 11 year old boy in Primary 7. • One day his class are doing an end of unit maths test • Jamie sits at his desk and refuses to do the test 24

Jamie’s story • Jamie is a boy who likes to please and wants to do well • His mum has an alcohol and drug problem • Last night she threw a party which went on until 6 am, so when Jamie woke up at 8. 30 am his mum was still fast asleep on the living room floor.

Jamie’s story • Jamie has a 4 year old sister called Stacey. • He can’t find anything for them to eat for breakfast, so he finds some money and runs to the shop to get a roll for Stacey. • Jamie gets Stacey up, washed, dressed and fed before taking her to nursery • Jamie was late getting Stacey to nursery and got frowned at by the nursery staff who asked him where his mum was

Jamie’s story • Jamie arrives at school late • He then remembers that he has the maths test and he couldn’t revise last night • Jamie sits at his desk and refuses to do the test

What has happened to Jamie? What influences and experiences is he bringing to school? • There are experiences, events and relationships which impact on children’s lives. • Psychological/physiological factors may also be a feature. • Any and all of these factors can influence their behaviour. Staff have little or no control over these factors. • Children can display these behaviours as: • Loss of personal power • Need to maintain self-esteem • Fear • Failure • Attention seeking • Displaced anger • Shame • Guilt 28

Not at your best… • Think of a time when you haven’t behaved at your best, and haven’t done yourself justice… • Why was this? What factors were relevant to your behaviour? • How did others respond to you? • How would you have liked others to respond to you?

Children who experience shame • See reprimands as a very personal attack and can get very upset / angry at small comments. • See themselves as bad and have low self–esteem. • Respond to criticism with more poor behaviour. • Do not own up as they cannot bear further reinforcement that they are bad. • Blame everyone and everything else. • Withdraw from relationships with those who have shamed them.

The poorly attached child habitually experiences pervasive shame that is intensified by discipline. When discipline is given without empathy, his/her shame is likely to intensify and trigger outbursts of rage. Inside I’m Hurting: Louise Michelle Bomber 2007

Fight/Flight/Freeze: Emotional/Amygdala Hijack

Dan Siegal – “Flipping Your Lid” • https: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=G 0 T_2 NN o. C 68

Fight You may notice that I: How my body feels: • Am disruptive, loud and dominant in class • Am very demanding of your time and attention • Am inflexible • Find it difficult to settle by myself • Find it hard to follow rules and structure • Lie or blame others • Am controlling • Am argumentative • • I’m in danger Really scared All alone I feel bad Frightened Unimportant Invisible

Flight You may notice that I: How my body feels: • • • • Run away Keep SUPER busy Am unable to focus Avoid tasks and activities Am hyperactive Can be giddy and silly Hide under tables Escape, run and hide Painful joints Numb Ready for action Jumpy and tense Sick

Freeze You may notice that I am: How my body feels: • • • • Withdrawn and quiet Not interested, bored Confused, forgetful Talking about something else Hard to engage in the task Not listening Staring into space, daydreaming Clumsy Frozen brain If I don’t move you can’t see me Everything feels like a dream Under attack In a fog Disconnected Numb

Amygdala hi-jack example https: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=5 XTi. I 1 ew. Vc

Spotting Emotional Hijacks With a partner, discuss an incident where a pupil experienced an emotional hijack

What can we do? : Use of Language • What is the first question we ask when someone does the wrong thing? • If we ask ‘why’, what answers do you expect to get? • What is the problem with the ‘why’ question? Alternatives…. “I’m wondering if you’re feeling……” “ What was your reason for? . . . ” “Sometimes people who feel…. . ” “so you did that because…. . ? ” “What’s the problem? ”

Reflecting • Take out blaming language but are still acknowledging their feelings • • • It sounds like you feel… I can hear you need… Are you wanting me/others to…. Would you be willing to… I am wondering if. . . Sometimes people who act like this are feeling. .

Attune to the young person Attunement refers to a harmonious and responsive relationship where both partners…play an active role’ (Kennedy, 2011) Magic dance

Attunement: Tune in and mark their mind • Let them know that they are okay, safe. Teacher is in control – point out times when other people are being kept safe e. g. oh look tom has fallen, Mrs Smith is helping to make sure he is OK • Say what they need to do – they often hear action word not negative e. g. saying thankyou not please • Simplify, chunk. Check understanding • Don’t make value judgements • Be mindful and use keep the young person in mind: how are you feeling when you say this? What do you need? • Consider/Reflect: how would they feel if you say it? What do they need? ……“I wonder if you are feeling anxious about the new Teacher in school today and that is why you are refusing to sit in your chair? ” Avoid: “Calm down”, “you should be listening”, “why are you doing that” Letting child know you kept them in mind: “I was reading your work last night and I was very pleased with you”

Empathy Supportive and healing relationships Attunement

Diagram retrieved from North Lanarkshire Council website: https: //www. northlanarkshire. gov. uk/CHttp Handler. ashx? id=21554&p=0

Diagram retrieved from North Lanarkshire Council website: https: //www. northlanarkshire. gov. uk/CHttp. Handler. ashx? id=21 554&p=0

(Based on Biemens Contact Principles) ME POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS (WHAT I DO) Deepen Discussion Helped to manage - Problem solve, and learn set goals Guide & Support - Give structure to thoughts, choices Develop Attuned Interaction - Giving and taking turns, co-operation, checking Receive Initiatives - Reflect what the other person says or does (‘It sounds like you…. ’), positive body language Encourage Initiatives - Enquiring into thoughts/feelings, active listening, warmth in responses, naming positively, looking for opportunities Be Attentive - Friendly posture, eye contact, giving time and space YOU (HOW YOU FEEL) Open to learning and new ideas with support Engaged in enjoyable and equal interactions You have been listened to someone is interested in you and what you have to say The other person is interested in what you think an you are encouraged to offer your own ideas Feel recognised and important

Reacting to Jamie What can we do if Jamie’s behaviour is challenging, possibly because of difficult circumstances outwith school? React rationally by staying in control of our own behaviour and not taking acting-out behaviour personally: – – – Be in control Be professional Don’t make assumptions Look for positive diversions Be sensitive in communication Attune to the young persons needs 48

All Behaviour is a Form of Communication How fluently do we ‘speak’ and understand behaviour? • Get curious not furious!

De-Escalation and Challenging Behaviour

Emotion and behaviour Pupil Behaviour Message Adult response Trigger – begins to show anxiety Withdrawal/agitation I’m worried I’m frustrated Active listening, explore feelings, problem solve, involve, redirect, notice the desired behaviours Agitation Loud/disruptive, swearing, generalised abuse Listen to me Help me As above, divert and re-focus, reassure, set limits, show empathy Acceleration Personalised abuse, threats, gesticulation, space invasion I’m losing control Help me gain control Set limits, use tone and quiet voice, divert/time out, focus on expected behaviour not the challenging Peak Destructive behaviour towards people and property Can you control me? Focus on staff/pupil safety. Reduce language, do not try to question the pupil De-escalation then exhaustion Tearful expression of remorse/anger/ regret. Apologetic I feel bad Support, monitor and secure the area Recovery Return to baseline behaviour City of Edinburgh Council Psychological Services Emotion Plan how to better deal with situation in future. Restorative conversations. Repair relationships

De-escalation • • • Label the behaviour not the young person Avoid threatening gestures and body language Give the young person a choice, but not an ultimatum Avoid dealing with the conflict in front of an audience Stay calm (at least on the outside) Give the young person time to comply Explain clearly what you want Show empathy Use humour to defuse the situation

Which behaviour? Start Small: • Tempting to tackle most challenging 1 st – start smaller • Experience success – spiral of negativity replaced by spiral of success.

Activity • Identify with a partner the most common examples of distressed behaviour that need to be tackled in your setting. • What are the most common ways of dealing with this behaviour? • Based on the information discussed today try and create a Positive Response Plan

Get Curious, Not Furious

Resources http: //www. theyellowkite. co. uk/ CELCIS – ‘Looked after and Learning’ http: //www. wecanandmust dobetter. org/ Education Scotland – ‘Learning with Care’