Dealing with Difficult People and Tricky Situations MODULE

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Dealing with Difficult People and Tricky Situations MODULE 3 Janice Davies ATTITUDE SPECIALIST janice@attitudespecialist.

Dealing with Difficult People and Tricky Situations MODULE 3 Janice Davies ATTITUDE SPECIALIST janice@attitudespecialist. co. nz www. attitudespecialist. co. nz 1

Recap • Personal Assessment • Personality styles - you - them

Recap • Personal Assessment • Personality styles - you - them

Second Most Important • • • Book: I'm Ok – You’re Ok Transactional Analysis

Second Most Important • • • Book: I'm Ok – You’re Ok Transactional Analysis 3 roles Not age related 4 scenarios

Personal Life

Personal Life

Transactional Analysis 3 Roles/LIVE/PLAY PARENT ROLE Critical Nurturing

Transactional Analysis 3 Roles/LIVE/PLAY PARENT ROLE Critical Nurturing

Transactional Analysis 3 Roles/LIVE/PLAY CHILD ROLE Whinging Learning

Transactional Analysis 3 Roles/LIVE/PLAY CHILD ROLE Whinging Learning

Transactional Analysis 3 Roles/LIVE/PLAY ADULT ROLE Supporting and Equal Partners

Transactional Analysis 3 Roles/LIVE/PLAY ADULT ROLE Supporting and Equal Partners

Transactional Analysis Relationship Scenarios LOSE/LOSE I’m not okay You’re not okay

Transactional Analysis Relationship Scenarios LOSE/LOSE I’m not okay You’re not okay

Transactional Analysis Relationship Scenarios LOSE/WIN I’m not okay You’re okay

Transactional Analysis Relationship Scenarios LOSE/WIN I’m not okay You’re okay

Transactional Analysis Relationship Scenarios WIN/LOSE I’m okay You’re not okay

Transactional Analysis Relationship Scenarios WIN/LOSE I’m okay You’re not okay

Transactional Analysis Relationship Scenarios WIN/WIN I’m okay You’re okay

Transactional Analysis Relationship Scenarios WIN/WIN I’m okay You’re okay

Relationship Scenarios I am not OK Lose/Lose I am not OK Lose/Win I am

Relationship Scenarios I am not OK Lose/Lose I am not OK Lose/Win I am OK Win/Lose I am OK Win/Win I am not OK I am OK

Professional Life

Professional Life

Physcology of victim • • People pleaser Dove personality Lack of interpersonal skills Lack

Physcology of victim • • People pleaser Dove personality Lack of interpersonal skills Lack of personal development Lack of knowledge about relationships Lack of confidence/self-esteem Initially confident/capable person.

Affects on Victims Regardless of intention • • Damage to self esteem/image Weight gain/loss

Affects on Victims Regardless of intention • • Damage to self esteem/image Weight gain/loss Increased negative thoughts/self doubt Fatigue/burn out/sleep/health Depressed/suicide/self-harm/drugs/alcohol Feelings of helplessness/inadequacy Cycle - Try to please more Outside – families/friends.

Victims Actions • • Intimidated Nothing – live with abuse Lose confidence Consult colleagues

Victims Actions • • Intimidated Nothing – live with abuse Lose confidence Consult colleagues Consult HR /Manager/Boss Leave an organization Least popular – counseling/help.

NOW WHAT • What’s happening for you? • Where do you want to be?

NOW WHAT • What’s happening for you? • Where do you want to be?

Next Session • Take some action • Think your situation through with your new

Next Session • Take some action • Think your situation through with your new knowledge • Observe them and you • Talk to positive person (support) • Take notes…. do something different www. attitudespecialist. co. nz 19