Dating Abuse and Healthy Relationships Teresa Huang Peer
Dating Abuse and Healthy Relationships Teresa Huang Peer Educator
About Us. Exercise Ice Breaker: Buzzer “I have the right to a safe and healthy relationship, free from violence and fear. ”
About Us Break the Cycle National Dating Abuse Hotline Loveisresp ect Loveisrespect is the ultimate resource to engage, educate and empower youth and young adults to prevent and end abusive relationships.
Loveisrespect believes… Everyone has the right to be in a safe and healthy relationship!
About Usto Anyone Abuse Can Happen • Dating abuse affects 1 out of 3 young people. • Dating violence occurs in all neighborhoods, income levels, and ethnic groups. • Both guys and girls can be perpetrators or victims of abuse. • Dating violence happens in straight and same-sex relationships. • Most abuse gets more severe over time.
About What is Dating. Us Abuse? “A pattern …”
About What is Dating. Us Abuse? Dating abuse is a pattern of destructive behaviors used to exert power and control over a dating partner.
Us Myths. About and Stereotypes • Only physical abuse • Just bad temper that can’t be controlled • Just learned behavior from childhood • Easy to leave • Mental illness • Girls cannot be abusive • Only heterosexual relationships • Only in long-term relationships
About Us Types of Abuse Physical Sexual Verbal / Emotional Digital
About Us Look Like? What Does Dating Abuse • Spreading rumors • Constant put-downs/insults • Hitting, pushing, scratching, spitting, or pulling hair • Extreme jealousy or insecurity • Mood swings • Keeping one from spending time on extracurricular activities • Isolation from friends or family • Threatening harm to oneself • Threatening to out a teen’s sexuality or gender identity • Refusing to practice safe sex • Refusing to use birth control or purposely damaging birth control • Forcing unwanted sexual activity • Pressure to take/send inappropriate pictures • Checking someone’s cell phone to see who they talk to • Texting constantly to monitor one’s activities or whereabouts
Questions About Types of Abuse?
About Us The Impact
About What is Dating. Us Abuse? Communication - Respect - Trust Equality - Personal Space - Consent Breaks in Communication - Pressure Dishonesty - Struggles for Control Disrespect - False Accusations - Blame Shifting - Isolation - Manipulation
About. Signs Us Warning • Extreme Jealousy • Possessiveness • Controlling behavior and setting rules • Mood swings and explosive temper • Excessive phone calls and check ins • Physically hurting you in any way • Isolating you from family and friends • Constant put downs • Telling you what to do • Financial control
About Us Obstacles • fear of the abuser/friends or family • language barriers • embarrassment • low self esteem • hoping abuser will change • believing abuse is normal • cultural religious reasons • lack of money • • • fear of being outed pregnancy or parenting distrust of police nowhere to go reluctance to report abuser • peer pressure • “puppy love” phenomena
How to Help a Friend ü LISTEN ü Be supportive ü Be non-judgmental ü Connect them to Loveisrespect resources ü Help them create a safety plan
About Us Safety Planning • Leaving is often the hardest and scariest part of being in an abusive relationship. • It is important to have a well thought out safety plan prior to leaving an abusive relationship. A safety plan includes… • Contact person • Safety route • Resources • Plan needs to be realistic and specific to the situation • Visit www. loveisrespect. org to learn more
About Us Safety Planning Important questions to ask are…. . • What can I do to stay safe in my home? • How do I safely get to work or school? • Is there a safe place I can go when abuse happens? • Who can walk with me from one class to another? • Who can I call if I feel I am in danger?
About Us Facts Restraining Order • Restraining Orders are FREE. • California state law allows minors to petition for a RO on their own at age 12. • Child under the age of 12 must have a parent, guardian, or custodian petition on their behalf. • California law does require the court to notify at least one parent or guardian of RO.
Questions About Getting Help?
About Us Healthy Relationships It is important to think about what you want in your relationships… • Make a list of Healthy and Unhealthy behaviors. • Be aware of warning signs of abuse as well as signs of healthy behaviors. • Relationships are not perfect! It’s okay to disagree as long as you communicate and respect one another. • Everyone has a right to a safe and healthy relationship.
Healthy Relationships: Resolution About Conflict Us ü Set Boundaries ü Find the Real Issue ü Agree to Disagree ü Compromise when Possible ü Consider Everything • While conflict is normal, your arguments shouldn’t involve degrading or humiliating comments. • You should be able to express yourself without fear of retaliation. • Take a Healthy Relationship quiz to learn more.
Healthy Relationships: Communication About Us ü Find the Right Time ü Talk Face to Face If you are angry, remember to… ü Do Not Attack ü Stop ü Be Honest ü Think ü Check Your Body Language ü Talk ü Use the 48 Hour Rule ü Listen Communicating isn’t always easy. At first, some of these tips may feel unnatural or awkward, but they will help you communicate better and build a healthy relationship.
Final Questions?
22522 (866) 331 -9474 Text “loveis” to 22522 loveisrespect. tumblr. com @loveisrespect facebook/loveisrespectpage @loveisrespectofficial
Love is… ?
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