Daring Greatly Part 1 An Introduction to Vulnerability

Daring Greatly Part 1 An Introduction to Vulnerability Compiled and prepared by: Brenda Flores – M. A. Clinical Mental Health Counseling Louis van Amstel - B. A. Secondary Education and Exercise Science

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Lead. Engage. Connect.

Overview • What is vulnerability • What role does it play in our lives • How do we cultivate it?

What is Vulnerability? • Define: The History of Vulnerable: Vulnerable is ultimately derived from the Latin noun vulnus ("wound") Dictionary: the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally Brene Brown: uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure • What words come to mind when you think of vulnerability? • What are examples that you have seen of vulnerability?

Breakout Rooms Take a photo of these topics so that you can remember what to discuss in your groups. Group 1 Does it need to be Group 2 What role does it have Group 3 How is the church Group 4 stops people What discussed in church? Why or why not in our Christian walk: personally and interpersonally? impacted when people can’t be vulnerable? from being vulnerable?

Breakout Rooms Responses Group 1 vulnerability Does Group 2 role does What need to be discussed in church? Why or why not vulnerability have in our Christian walk: personally and interpersonally? o - Group How 3 is the church impacted when people can’t be vulnerable? o - Group What 4 stops people from being vulnerable? o -

The Flip Side • Comparison • Shame • Disengagement • (P. 28 Daring Greatly) • Shame is the fear of disconnection – it's the fear that something we've done or failed to do, an ideal that we've not lived up to, or a goal that we've not accomplished makes us unworthy of connection. • I'm not worthy or good enough for love, belonging, or connection. I'm unlovable. I don't belong. • Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging. (Daring Greatly p. 68)

• Connection: the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment The two most powerful forms of connection are love and belonging – the are both irreducible needs of men, women, and children. If we want to fully experience love and belonging, we must believe that we are worthy of love and belonging. Psalm: 139: 14 • Belonging: the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us. . . true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our scene of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance. – Daring Greatly p. 145

And this is the HOW • BELIEVE YOU ARE ENOUGH – Cultivate shame resilience (recognize shame and its triggers, practice critical awareness, reach out, speak shame) – Practice Self Compassion (when we're able to be gentle with ourselves in the midst of shame, we're more likley to reach out, connect, and experience empathy) – Own your story Daring Greatly p. 75 & 116 • If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can't survive. • Empathy is a strange and powerful thing. There is no script there is no right way or wrong way to do it. It's simply listening, holding space withholdding judgement emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of "You're not alone. " – Daring Greatly p. 75 & 81

Who do I share it with? • People with whom we've cultivated relationships that can bear the weight of our story – Is there trust? – Is there mutual empathy? – Is there reciprocal sharing? – Can we ask for what we need? Brown, B. “Daring Greatly” p. 160

What does the Bible say? • 2 Corinthians 12: 9 -10 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. • Matthew 10: 16 16 “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.

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