Confronting myself An autobiographical exploration of the impact

Confronting myself: An auto/biographical exploration of the impact of class and education on the formation of 'self'and identity Dr Paula Stone

A clarification of terms – ‘une miraculée’ an educationally highly successful member of a disadvantaged group (Bourdieu and Passeron, 1990). – social class is not established by legal or religious provision. It is a social construction. Working class and middle class – these are terms used to position people within social strata. Class in the 21 st Century is fundamentally associated with the discourse of inequality. – Capital: economic, social, cultural (Bourdieu, 1984) – Education or at least educational attainment, is still generally regarded by society as a means through which upward social mobility can occur. – Epistemology - theory of knowledge, especially with regard to its methods, validity, and scope, and the distinction between justified belief and opinion

My story starts in 1963; my mum was just 17 years old when she gave birth to me out of wedlock. I am illegitimate. Me, aged 2 ½ years ‘une miraculée’ an educationally highly successful member of a disadvantaged group (Bourdieu and Passeron, 1990).

What is the relationship between class, educational success, and self-esteem in the development of the ‘self’ and identity from the perspective of an educated working-class woman? I wanted to • establish my motivation for continuous academic development; • illustrate how ‘formal’ education has enabled me to cross class boundaries; • share the embodied experiences of being an educated workingclass woman in a middle-class field; • illustrate how my class origins have had an enduring impact on my epistemological beliefs; • show the Ph. D has had an impact on me personally and professionally.

Feminist and critical discourse The dailiness of women’s lives structures a different way of knowing and a different way of thinking. The process that comes from this way knowing has to be at the centre…or a woman’s scholarship…. We have to believe in our own experiences and in the value of our ways of knowing, our ways of doing things, (Apthekar, 1989: 254)

And some pretty influential theoretical friends Bev Skeggs Diane Reay Steph Lawler

The research approach: Auto/biography – ‘Auto/biography has at its heart a project which is concerned with the artful construction of a self-in-writing’ (Stanley, 1995: 131). – Auto/biography, and in particular feminist auto/biography, concerns itself with the shifting boundaries between: self/other. It is a rare that autobiography does not contain within its pages many, shorter or longer, biographies of other people who figure, in different times and places, in the subject's life; public/private. (Stanley, 2000)

We make the road by walking Charlie and me – walking and thinking 2017

Main findings – I have been caught between the contradictory tensions of a desire for respectability and recognition and a continuing need to go on asserting my working-class habitus – I have been able to recognise that the systems are, at least in part to blame for feelings of illegitimacy and resolve feelings alienation and estrangement

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– What story does your timeline tell? – Has carrying out this activity changed your perspective on your learning experiences? – Has carrying out this activity changed your perspective on the focus for your own research?