CONFLICT RESOLUTION for the lead worker Paris Boehm
CONFLICT RESOLUTION for the lead worker Paris Boehm Doug D. Whittle Consulting Group, LLC
Today’s objectives: Review types & sources of workplace conflict Apply conflict resolution models & approaches through practice Examine different ways to address & resolve conflict Conflict Resolution
At the end of the day… To better know & understand yourself and others in order to improve your skills in managing & resolving conflict
T ruths • There is no silver bullet • One size does not fit all • Managing your behaviors and reactions…both a skill and an art • Practice makes perfect
You must agree… • You can not control others • You can control yourself • You accept responsibility for your actions, reactions, decisions, and emotions • You share responsibility for the success of your team
Power? Authority?
When you think you are powerful, you are. When others think you are powerful, you are.
POWERFUL 8. Lead & Make It Happen 7. Find Solutions 6. “Own It” 5. Acknowledge Reality 4. Wait & Hope 3. “I can’t” - Excuses 2. Blame Others 1. Unaware / Unconscious powerless
? Do you take risks
If you do or if you don’t… either way, it’s risky business What’s the risk of acting? – What do you risk if you address the conflict? What’s the risk of NOT acting? – What do you risk if you DON’T address the conflict?
If you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always got.
Aim Fire Aim Ready
When conflict gets out of hand…
Speak when you are angry… and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
Models &Tools
Current State No YES Desired State
Current State No YES Desired State
ORGANIZATIONAL CULTURE (High) GROUP BEHAVIOR Difficulty INDIVIDUAL BEHAVIORS (Low) INDIVIDUAL ATTITUDES KNOWLEDGE (Short) Time involved (Long)
Benefits of managing conflict • Better motivated staff • Staff energies directed toward work, not emotions • More positive image of organization, team • Improved teamwork • Better personal development of individuals 2
Benefits of managing conflict • • More, better ideas Increased creativity & innovation Increased self-respect Increased synergy 2
Drawbacks of ignoring conflict • • Lower morale Climate of mistrust, suspicion, hostility created Escalation & spread of conflict to others Dissipation of staff energy Misdirection of staff energy Reduced productivity Misperception that inaction is the easiest option— the problem will ultimately be harder to solve 2
5 ways to deal with Collaboration conflict Avoidance Compromise Competition Accommodation 2
Avoidance • Withdraw • Deny 2
2 Accommodation • Minimizes, suppresses differences • Maintains surface harmony • Can result in feelings of powerlessness, frustration
• Focuses on defeating other side Competition 2
Compromise • Each party gives up something • Trade-offs • Multiple options, solutions • Use to build consensus 2
Collaboration • Experience, expertise, perceptions of both parties recognized & valued • Alternatives discussed openly • Decisions made in broader context: What’s best for team, department, company 2
Conflict Management Process 1. Recognize that a conflict exists 2. Monitor the climate 3. Examine, summarize the situation 4. Plan your approach 5. Address the issue 6. Involve & engage the stakeholders 7. Identify a forward path 8. Appraise, don’t dwell 3
Conflict Management process 1. Recognize that a conflict exists • Overt vs. covert • Visible vs. hidden • Obvious vs. subtle 3
Trip my TRIGGER 3
Conflict management process 2. Monitor the climate • Keep eyes open • Don’t ignore • Early warning system 3
To monitor conflict… • • Know yourself Know others Adapt and Connect Do unto others as THEY would be done unto
questioning deliberate precise formal caring patient sharing encouraging dynamic strong-willed sociable competitive persuasive demanding enthusiastic determined Who are YOU?
questioning deliberate precise formal caring patient sharing encouraging dynamic strong-willed sociable competitive persuasive demanding enthusiastic determined Who is HE/SHE?
Conflict management process 3. Examine, summarize the situation • WHAT is the actual issue? • WHAT is the root cause? • WHAT are potential and actual impacts? • Avoid snap judgments. • Be empathetic 3
CONFLICT = STRESS
questioning deliberate cautious precise formal strong-willed competitive demanding determined purposeful Demonstrated Behaviors caring patient sharing relaxed encouraging sociable dynamic persuasive enthusiastic demonstrative
suspicious indecisive reserved stuffy cold overbearing aggressive controlling intolerant driving …on a bad day bland docile reliant stubborn plodding hasty frantic excitable indiscreet flamboyant
Stress Cause poor quality, time wasted, lack of structure First Response Flipped Out impatient withdrawn aggressive helpless irritable offended misunderstoo d demanding time out, fast action, place in control Stress Remedy
Stress Cause rejection, restricted flexibility, no fun First Response Flipped Out hasty ice cold scream mission to kill indiscretion no emotion throw things detached save face, outside the box, distraction Stress Remedy
Stress Cause value violation, interruptions, unfair treatment First Response Flipped Out self doubt very critical hurt feelings vicious rumination destructive stubborn nasty sincerity, personal contact, trust restoration Stress Remedy
Stress Cause lack of focus, indecisiveness, out of control First Response Flipped Out withdraw lose control split hairs cry hesitate get loud go quietly get emotional information, build a path forward, analysis Stress Remedy
Conflict management process 4. Plan your approach • Build climate of open exchange • Avoid taking sides • Identify preferred outcome(s) • Build your BATNA • Build your strategy 3
Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way. Daniele Vare, Italian diplomat
Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement 4
BATNA Aspire Content Live To With
Conflict management process 5. Address the issue • Maintain control • Consider a time out • Take time to consider all points of view • Listen & hear 4
critical elements of communications Talking Points Timing Channels
2 -3 Talking Points
Setting Level of formality Preparation Process time Decision & commitment Timing
Oral: In person Oral: Distance Electronic Print Grapevine Channels
People don’t resist change… …they resist being changed Edgar Schein
Reasons for I don’t get it! I don’t like you! I don’t like it! RESISTANCE
Barriers to agreement Barriers Others See Not their idea Fear of losing face Too much too fast Unmet interest 4
Helping others through R E S • Involve the other side I – Ask for and build on their ideas S Not my Idea! • Ask for constructive T criticism A – How might we. . . ? • Offer choices and N alternatives C 4 E
Helping others through R • Walk in their shoes E – Would I agree to this if I were S them? – Why? Why not? I • Review basic human S needs Unmet – Look for intangible motivations T that drive their behavior interests A • Look for low cost, high benefit trades N • If-then bargains C 4 E
Helping others through R E • Help them back away without backing down S • Show circumstances I have changed S Fear of • Ask for third-party T losing face recommendation A • Provide testimonials N • Share credit C • Give them the limelight 4 E
Helping others through R E • Go slow to go fast • Pilot project S • Don’t ask for final I commitment until S Too much, the end T • Don’t rush to the too fast A finish N • Caution: avoid verbal contracts C 4 E
Denial Resistance Anger Commitment Exploration Checking Out
Two ways to QUIT and LEAVE STAY QUIT!
Conflict management process 6. Involve and engage stakeholders • Recognize all parties’ alternatives • Emphasize communication • Work to improve relationships • Be nondiscriminatory and compatible with organization’s preferred practices • Generate a lasting commitment to the solution 4
! It’s all about stakeholders
STAKEHOLDERS • Anyone with a vested interest in the outcome of your mission & initiatives • Interest groups to whom your organization is accountable You have more than one!
Who’s who? What do I need from them? Who are my key stakeholders? What do they need from me? Identifying the needs
Who’s who? Who do they influence? Where do they currently stand? Who influences them? Mapping your stakeholders
Coachin g g
Unlocking a person’s potential to maximize their own performance COACHING Helping people to learn rather than teaching them
Principles of A skillful coach rarely provides or prescribes solutions Coaching focuses on future possibilities not past mistakes It may be harder to give up instructing than it is to learn to coach COACHING
Perhaps the hardest thing a coach has to learn is to SHUT UP!
Questions for effective coaching G EALITY R PTIONS O ILL W OALS What do you want? What is happening now? What could you do? What will you do? 7
Conflict management process 7. Identify a forward path • Examine options • Explore compromise • Identify acceptable path forward • Obtain commitment from all parties • ARCI 4
A ccountable R esponsible C onsult I nform
Conflict management process 8. Appraise, don’t dwell • Post-mortem • Lessons learned • Continuous improvement 4
Conflict management process 8. Appraisal questions to ask • What did you gain or lose for now? • What will you gain or lose in the future? • What did the other person gain or lose? • What will the other person gain or lose in the future? • How do you feel about this outcome? • What would you do differently the next time? 4
Conduct autopsies, without blame. Good to Great p 77
Stop Continue Start 8
PARTNERSHIPS With whom do I need to minimize association? With whom do I need to build strong relationships? RELATIONSHIPS
Saying thanks is one of the simplest ways to build relationships Office Politics for the Utterly Confused (Salmon & Salmon)
words wisdom of C. W. Metcalf
Save energy for the battles that count Know when uncomfortable becomes unbearable Don’t burn bridges (even when you are tempted)
Overcome terminal professionalism Take yourself lightly and your job seriously Understand that you are not the center of the universe
Do something for the fun of it Expect the best Find absurdity in adversity
P U O R G. com G up o Nr Iing. G T L ult T T LE W I H U ns o S C e l N itt h O Cww. W w Paris Boehm, Associate 515. 720. 1098 Paris@Whittle. Consulting. Group. com THANK YOU!!!
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