CONFLICT RESOLUTION AVOIDING CONFLICTS MANAGING CONFLICTS COMMON CAUSES

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CONFLICT RESOLUTION – AVOIDING CONFLICTS: – MANAGING CONFLICTS: – COMMON CAUSES OF CONFLICTS: –

CONFLICT RESOLUTION – AVOIDING CONFLICTS: – MANAGING CONFLICTS: – COMMON CAUSES OF CONFLICTS: – GUIDELINES TO RESOLVE CONFLICTS: – MEDIATING TO RESOLVE CONFLICTS: – WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT CONFLICTS:

AVOIDING CONFLICTS § § § § EMBRACE DEFINITE VALUES PREPARE PEOPLE FOR CONTEXT SET

AVOIDING CONFLICTS § § § § EMBRACE DEFINITE VALUES PREPARE PEOPLE FOR CONTEXT SET CLEAR GOALS TEACH CULTURE BUILD TEAM CREATE ENVIRONMENT DEFINE STRUCTURE BUILD WORKABLE COMMUNICATIONS SYSTEM

MANAGING CONFLICTS § (SEE YWAM DOCUMENT – JUSTICE AND APPEALS PROCESS) § SET UP

MANAGING CONFLICTS § (SEE YWAM DOCUMENT – JUSTICE AND APPEALS PROCESS) § SET UP CONFLICT MANAGEMENT PROCESS § DESCRIBE APPEALS PROCESS § SET UP STRUCTURE FOR RESOLVING ISSUES

COMMON CAUSES OF CONFLICTS - 1 § § § § § PERSONAL INSECURITY MISCOMMUNICATION

COMMON CAUSES OF CONFLICTS - 1 § § § § § PERSONAL INSECURITY MISCOMMUNICATION MISUNDERSTANDING BAD COMMUNICATION FAILURE TO LISTEN TO EACH OTHER LACK OF “PEOPLE SKILLS” FAILURE TO MAKE DECISIONS PROPERLY POOR LEADERSHIP IMMATURE OR INSECURE LEADERSHIP

COMMON CAUSES OF CONFLICTS - 2 § UNCLEAR STRUCTURE AMONG STAFF AND LEADERS §

COMMON CAUSES OF CONFLICTS - 2 § UNCLEAR STRUCTURE AMONG STAFF AND LEADERS § CHARACTER WEAKNESSES § ROOT SINS LIKE PRIDE AND SELFISHNESS § LACK OF PRAYER § CULTURAL INSENSITIVITY § DRIFTING FROM BASIC BIBLICAL VALUES § LACK OF TRAINING FOR ASSIGNED TASKS § LACK OF MENTORING (DISCIPLING) § HIDDEN AGENDAS

COMMON CAUSES OF CONFLICTS - 3 § § § § COMPARING ONE WITH ANOTHER

COMMON CAUSES OF CONFLICTS - 3 § § § § COMPARING ONE WITH ANOTHER COMPETITIVENESS DISLOYALTY LACK OF TRUST LACK OF ACCOUNTABILITY PRESUMING MOTIVES AND JUDGING SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS

GUIDELINES TO RESOLVE CONFLICTS - 1 § UNDERSTAND THE OTHER PERSON § CONSIDER THEIR

GUIDELINES TO RESOLVE CONFLICTS - 1 § UNDERSTAND THE OTHER PERSON § CONSIDER THEIR PERSONALITY, MATURITY LEVEL, CULTURE, AND CHARACTER § LISTEN AND HEAR WHAT IS SAID AND WHAT IS NOT SAID § DO NOT RESPOND OUT OF INSECURITY OR DEFENSIVENESS § ATTACK THE PROBLEM, NOT THE PERSON § TRY WORKING OUT FROM UNCONDITIONAL LOVE § TELL CLEARLY WHAT YOU BELIEVE WAS DONE WRONGLY

GUIDELINES TO RESOLVE CONFLICTS - 2 § FIND UNDERSTANDING OF WHY THINGS WERE DONE

GUIDELINES TO RESOLVE CONFLICTS - 2 § FIND UNDERSTANDING OF WHY THINGS WERE DONE WRONGLY § ADMIT ANY MISTAKE OR WEAKNESS ON YOUR SIDE § DECIDING BLAME IS NOT THE MAIN OBJECTIVE § RECONCILIATION IS THE MAIN OBJECTIVE § NOBODY IS 100% TO BLAME (USUALLY) § IF YOU NEED A MEDIATOR, DO NOT DELAY § BE WILLING TO BE PROVED WRONG

MEDIATING TO RESOLVE CONFLICTS - 1 § § § § JUSTICE IS THE PRINCIPAL

MEDIATING TO RESOLVE CONFLICTS - 1 § § § § JUSTICE IS THE PRINCIPAL THING BE IMPARTIAL – DO NOT TAKE SIDES AVOID CONFLICT OF INTEREST – POSSIBLE BIAS BECAUSE OF RELATIONSHIP OR OTHER CAUSE (E. G. FINANCES) DO NOT DECIDE ISSUES BEFORE HEARING ALLOW FOR GOOD INTENTIONS – DO NOT ALLOW SUSPICIONS MAKE SURE YOU UNDERSTAND ALL THAT IS SAID BY EACH ONE PRAYERFULNESS IS AN ABSOLUTE

MEDIATING TO RESOLVE CONFLICTS - 2 § WORK BETWEEN THOSE IN CONFLICT AND SHARE

MEDIATING TO RESOLVE CONFLICTS - 2 § WORK BETWEEN THOSE IN CONFLICT AND SHARE POSITIVES § EXPLAIN GOOD MOTIVES WHERE YOU FIND THEM § CLARIFY MISTAKES AS YOU DISCOVER THEM § DO NOT MINIMIZE SINFUL BEHAVIOUR § APPEAL TO FORGIVENESS, TOLERANCE, AND LOVE § DISCOVER GOD’S WAY OF USING SITUATION FOR GOOD § WORK FOR RECONCILIATION § SUGGEST PLAN FOR NEW WORKING ARRANGEMENT

WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT CONFLICTS – 1 (A small selection) § Exodus 18:

WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT CONFLICTS – 1 (A small selection) § Exodus 18: 13 to 26 – Jethro gives Moses advice on processing disputes § 1 Kings 3: 16 to 28 - Solomon and the two mothers (prostitutes) § Proverbs 18: 13 – the need to listen before judging in a conflict § Proverbs 18: 17 – hear both sides of the story! § Matthew 5: 23, 24 – Jesus tells what to do if someone has a conflict with you § Matthew 18: 15 to 20 – what to do if you have a conflict with someone else

WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT CONFLICTS - 2 § Acts 15: 19 (see verses

WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT CONFLICTS - 2 § Acts 15: 19 (see verses 1 to 21) – James settles a conflict in the early church § Romans 14: 1 to 3 – be tolerant, don’t judge a person’s conscience in a conflict § 1 Corinthians 6: 1 to 8 – conflicts should be settled among Christians § 2 Corinthians 13: 1 – a conflict needs evidence from several people to settle it § Ephesians 4: 1 to 3 – humility, kindness, patience, forgiveness and love needed § Philippians 4: 2 and 3 – a mediator may be needed

WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT CONFLICTS - 3 § 1 Timothy 5: 19 and

WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT CONFLICTS - 3 § 1 Timothy 5: 19 and 20 – two or three witnesses needed against elders § 1 Timothy 5: 21 – stay impartial; do not take sides in a conflict § James 3: 2 to 6 – our words (tongue) create and fuel conflict § James 5: 16 – the need to confess our sins applies in conflict situations § 1 Peter 3: 8 to 12 – the need for sympathy, not retaliation