CONFLICT MANAGEMENT UTILIZING CONFLICT STYLES STRATEGICALLY PRESENTED BY

CONFLICT MANAGEMENT: UTILIZING CONFLICT STYLES STRATEGICALLY PRESENTED BY MARY CHAVEZ RUDOLPH & LISA NEALE – OMBUDS OFFICE July 26, 2012

Today’s Agenda Introduction/Ombuds Office Conflict Management Skills Conflict is Inevitable Personal / Professional Process and/or Content Conflict Styles –use in managing conflict Conflict Scenarios – what would you do? Summary: Conflict Management Skills

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Conflict Management… Word Association with “conflict” In what areas in your life do you encounter conflict?

Steps in Managing Conflict Think of a conflict you’ve had recently … -use the handout provided as we progress through the slides

Step 1: Managing Emotion How did you feel in your last conflict? Mad, sad, confused, fearful? What strategies do you use to manage your emotions?

Step 2: Analyzing the Conflict This may be difficult to do until you control emotion. Asking yourself questions helps control emotion. Content / Process / Relationship What are your goals? Identify your options

Content / Process / Relationship Jot down if you think your issue is primarily a content issue, a process issue, or both. Identify what is process and what is content. Content: “What” are having conflict about? Process: “How” are you treating each other when you discuss the issue? Are you communicating at all? Relationship

Goal / Intent / Motivation Jot down your goals for this situation. Think: LONG TERM! What is the ideal outcome of this situation?

Identifying your Options: Conflict Styles Jot down what you did of these options a This could be your preferred conflict style. In your example conflict, What did you do? Give in? Try to win? Seek a compromise? Try and understand the other person’s perspective? Ignore or side-step

Assessing Your Conflict Style Most people have one or two preferred styles Helpful to know that you have other options and the option you choose should be dependent on the results you want to achieve There is no right or wrong style

Conflict Styles Concern Collaborating for Self Competing (win/lose) (win/win) Compromising (win/win) (lose/lose) Avoiding Accommodating (lose/lose) (win/lose)

AVOIDING How do people act when using this style? Diplomatically side-step the issue, ignore, hide, procrastinate, deny there is a problem When would you use this style? When it isn’t important to you, not worth it to engage When wouldn’t you use this style? When the conflict continues, no one’s needs are being met

ACCOMMODATING What behaviors are present with this style? Smiling, listening, giving in, obeying, apologizing When would you use this style? It’s not that important to you, not necessary to understand other person’s interests When wouldn’t you use this style? A fast decision is needed, not a lot of commitment involved in the process

COMPETING How do people act when using this style? Assert their position, debate, shout, interrupt, do not give in, possible physical contact/violence When would you use this style? Emergencies, when you are being taken advantage of/manipulated, when you really want to win When wouldn’t you use this style? When the relationship takes precedence over your winning

COLLABORATING How do people act when using this style? Listen, identify interests, explore issue in depth, find ways to improve relationship When would you use this style? Long-term relationships, you have the time to commit to the process, you want a lot of buy-in, involvement When wouldn’t you use this style? Time factor, leadership is more important, situation does not require this process

COMPROMISING How do people act when using this style? Make concessions, seek to split the difference, find happy medium When would you use this style? When you don’t have the time and energy, need for a fast solution, relationship isn’t that important When wouldn’t you use this style? When determining interests to enhance the relationship is more important than a quick solution

When to use which style… How much time to do you have (i. e. , does action need to be taken immediately? ) What have you already tried? How important is the issue to you? Is there a relationship? Is there a possibility you are wrong? Has this ever happened before? Is there a difference in power?

Summary: Skills for Managing Conflict Manage Emotion / Think Determine your Goals Decide on a Strategy (conflict style) Separate Positions from Interests Consider Timing and Setting Ask Open-Ended Questions Benefit of the Doubt Active Listening Reflect Emotion “I“ Statements

Positions and Interests Positions are specific proposals or solutions that a party suggests to meet his/her interests or needs. A position is usually one solution to a given problem. In many cases, that solution is satisfactory only to the person suggesting it. Positions are often rigid and offer limited flexibility.

Positions and Interests, cont. Interests are needs that a party wants to have satisfied. The most powerful interests are basic human needs: security economic well-being a sense of belonging recognition control over one's life

Scenario: A co-worker recently stopped friendly conversations with you. You are unsure why. Yesterday, this co-worker came into your office, slammed the door shut behind her, and began screaming at you for not completing an important report. After a few minutes of screaming, she left your office. What conflict styles have you used? What other options do you have at this point?

Conflict Styles Concern Collaborating for Self Competing (win/lose) (win/win) Compromising (win/win) (lose/lose) Avoiding Accommodating (lose/lose) (win/lose)

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