Composition Prose and Rhetoric Examples of Strong Writing

Composition, Prose, and Rhetoric: Examples of Strong Writing from MGT 360 Wayne Smith, Ph. D. Department of Management CSU Northridge ws@csun. edu

Superior, Contemporary Writing • Employ higher-order writing strategies – Always elevate your writing (throughout this class and beyond) – All of the following examples are from my outstanding students • [Technical] Composition – Introductory Sentences, Thesis Statements, Topic sentences, Transition sentences, Contrasts, Emphases, Transition words • [Artful] Prose – Short Sentences, Noun Phrases, Verb Phrases, Adjectives and Adverbs, Prepositions, Conjunctions and Coordination, Dependent Clauses, Sentence Openers and Inversion, Branching Sentences, Appositives, Interrogatories, Exclamatories, Imperatives, Parallelism, Cohesion – Sentence Variety – Length, Types, Passive constructions, Originality, Rhythm • [Persuasive] Rhetoric – Linkages to Domain/Subject Matter, Linkages to General Education – Quotes, Analogies, Metaphors, Similes, Topic/Content order, Arguments – Figurative Language

Exemplars – Composition – Introductory Sentences • A startling statistic or an unusual fact – “Chuck E. Cheese is…a corporation that provides employment to much older people with limited English. ” • A vivid example – “He routinely yells at his employees and threatens to cut our hours if we don’t work harder. ” • A description or an image – “In my experience, a manager can change the attitudes of many employees by having a certain feature that they carry with them at all times. This feature is always displayed on a manager’s face and can be felt when a manager is motivating the employees. ” – “I have been working there for over a year, and I must admit that I really love what I do. ” • A paradoxical statement – “Bill seemed to be aware that he didn’t obtain his position purely through merit, but he was not an incompetent supervisor. ”

Exemplars – Composition – Introductory Sentences • A quotation or a bit of dialogue – “The phrase, ‘the customer is always right’ is highly used and expected by the customers. ” • A question – What is a company with no policy? • An analogy – “Working for a mother as a babysitter can be just as challenging as being an employer working for a manager with equal responsibilities of dealing with customers as well as having precise time management skills. ” • An anecdote – “Today, a friend and coworker of mine was let go from my job. He was always an ideas person and I was the one doing much of the executing. ”

Exemplars – Composition – Thesis Statements • “It seems that throughout the three years that Tariq has been working for TRUECar, he has not developed himself and has not taken any leadership role in his department. ” • “Customer service is a problem faced by any service industry and this issue is a priority for restaurants because it’s a big part of the restaurant experience for the customer. ” • A thesis statement generally appears in the introductory or opening paragraph. • A thesis statement… – requires further proof or development (not a fact or description), – is an answer to a question (not the question itself), – is neither too broad (not specific enough) nor too narrow (can’t generalize), and – should be sharply focused (avoiding vague terms or fuzzy meanings)

Exemplars – Composition • Topic Sentences – “A management issue that I have to deal with is how the schedule is handled. ” • Transition Sentences – “This is a missed opportunity both in sales and customer service. ” • Contrasts – “[Two of my co-founding] partner’s lack of leadership skills were the inability to listen and reason, which is quite odd because the partner I originally went into this project with was smart, talented, and eager to work at the early stage of the project but all that was a façade. ” – “However, they are doing so effectively but not efficiently. ”

Exemplars – Composition • • • For word emphasis, use italics, then, if necessary, use bold, and then, if necessary, use underline. For phrase emphasis, use an “em-dash” (“—”) Italics are also often used when introducing key nouns, especially proper nouns. For word or phrase de-emphasis, use parentheses: “(“ and “)”. • Emphasis (all emphases are in the original) – “But as time went on, I couldn’t help but notice that this particular situation was just a matter of starting off with a good first impression. ” – “Leadership is the best work of management. ” – “I just don’t know—really know—how to balance my precious time at this job. ” – “…a proper career would allows for a certain level of autonomy and trust from management’s side. ” – “I think the store manager, Nikko, picked up on that right away. ” • De-emphasis – “The manager’s assistant had to the take the water (it’s not fresh at that point) to the workroom to be dumped out. (de-emphasis in the original)

Exemplars – Composition – Transition words • Similarity Relationship – “Furthermore, the manager did not provide any benefits such as health insurance. ” (emphasis added) • Difference Relationship – “I thought all the employees they had hired were fashion designers and professionals. However, I later found out they were nonqualified individuals who where looking for jobs. ” (emphasis added) • Temporal Relationship – “Ultimately, we were able to convince him to give customers the sale price on sodas, without any of the required limit…” (emphasis added)

Exemplars – Prose • Short Sentences – “We are a small firm. ” – “The problem was never fully resolved. ” • Noun Phrases – “This is where the burden fell on my shoulders. ” (emphasis added) • Verb Phrases – “This not only allowed the business to get back on track, but also began replenishing my trust in him. ” (emphasis added) • Adjectives and Adverbs – “Service makes a good restaurant amazing. ” – “There is a restaurant. Its look externally is neither fancy nor beautiless. ” • Prepositions – “Of all the experiences, one case came up to my mind instantly. ”

Exemplars – Prose • Conjunctions and Coordination – “The manager approved my idea, and now every week I have the employees and their supervisor sign their report. ” • Dependent Clauses – “I suggested changes that will help the students as a whole and also included a way to advance the skills of the other upcoming and continuing tutors in the program. ” – “My parents, who loved me dearly, wanted to instill a strong work ethic in me when they required me to get a job. ” • Sentence Openers and Inversion – “Yet through all of this, I never complained to any coworker, manager, or any of the bosses. ”

Exemplars – Prose • “Left-Branching” Sentences – “On the rare occasions that they do notify me, they send an email saying a package in my name has arrived. ” – “As I returned to my desk thinking on how mad this client sounded over the phone, I heard screaming coming from the reception area. • “Right-Branching” Sentences – “Throughout my years as a Youth Advisor, the only time that the staff would come together as a whole was in the first fifteen minutes of work to discuss any individual problems that we may have faced the day prior with any of the kids that the staff should know about. ” • Appositives (one noun phrase redefining another, prior noun phrase) – “I faced my most difficult organizational challenge while working for the San Diego Scout Shop, a retail store owned by the Boy Scouts of America. ”

Exemplars – Prose • Interrogatories – “For example, are safety measures taken seriously? Are consequences given for unsafe behavior? Are sanitary regulations kept up-to-date? ” – Have you ever been given your supervisor’s responsibilities? ” • Exclamatories – “I hate my manager!” • Imperatives – “The burden is now on me to motivate and encourage my students to stay focused and to strive harder than before in order to do better. ” • Parallelism – “Work tasks were monotonous: unchallenging, unrewarding, and unsatisfying. ” – “Managers have many responsibilities, and that includes organizing, motivating, coaching, and staffing. ” • Cohesion – “After working there for another six months since the changes, I resigned. ”

Exemplars – Sentence Variety – Length • Aim, in general, for sentences around 20 words. But vary the sentence lengths. Think of 20 as a “mean”, as it were, for the entire document. • Examples from the same student-professional on the same document • Short-length sentences – “We are a small firm. ” • Medium-length sentences – “On the rare occasions that they do notify me, they send an email saying a package in my name has arrived. ” • Long-length sentences – “Customer service is a problem faced by any service industry and this issue is a priority for restaurants because it’s a big part of the restaurant experience for the customer. ”

Exemplars – Sentence Variety – Types • Vary the types of your sentences. Even a 1 ½ page essay will have a mix of all four main types of sentences. • A simple sentence has one independent clause. • A compound sentence consists of two or more independent clauses. • A complex sentence contains one independent clause and at least one dependent clause. • A compound-complex sentence has at least two independent clauses and at least one dependent clause.

Exemplars – Sentence Variety – Passive constructions • In general, use active sentences. That is, write sentences where the subject is the clear focus. • But don’t be afraid the use a passive construction for variety. • Also, sometimes it just sounds better and is more pleasant. • It’s particular helpful when discussing rules or policies objectively. • Just like bold, italics, and underline, use passive constructions sparingly. • Passive construction – “Employees are not permitted to be under the influence or in possession of drugs or alcohol during paid work hours. ”

Exemplars – Originality • Some sentence construction, and by extension, paragraph construction, is highly original. Such sentences are memorable and distinctive. Such sentences represent the best of the writer’s thinking and expressiveness. When chosen well and used appropriately, these sentences have persuasive, lasting impact. • “I walked into a cold, monotonous establishment. I knew no one, and understood no one. It was a…building on a corner, weathered by the sun, and time. It was my first day as interim General Manager. I can still remember the icy cold air, the blue -tinted ambience, and the smell of grease. ” “…my manager came back to the office [after work] because she forgot her wallet and was surprised to see me at my desk. She questioned why I had not gone home, and out of frustration, I replied, ‘Well, there are only eight hours in a given workday, and when I have to do both your job and mine, those hours are simply not enough…” “For me this experience was very eye opening because I learned that…many people have no business being managers. ” • •

Exemplars – Originality • • “The cash register was more of a decorative statement than a functional instrument. ” “It all ended in one fell, and foul, swoop. ” (emphasis in the original)

Exemplars – Rhythm • Some sentences are deliberately designed to flow well; that is, the sentence is conscientiously rhythmic and effortlessly natural. Like deeply original sentences, these sentences too have persuasive, lasting impact. • “Perhaps his planning was good, but his leading wasn’t effective. ” • “After cleaning my apron and preparing my pens for action, I am ready for another day of work at a local restaurant. ”

Exemplars – Linkages to General Education (“Basic Skills”) • In general, individuals with college degrees work on different issues than individuals without college degrees. Applying key concepts and ideas from fundamental courses matter deeply throughout your personal and professional life. • Computing – “One potential way of transferring data is to create an Excel template and go about the process of manually inputting all customer data into the system. However, a more productive compromise would be scanning the data of current clients into the computer and from that point forward inputting all new client data into the computer. ” • English – “My main problem with the team was lack of taking notes and then retaining the information for the next day. ” • Math – “One day I made exactly $7. 50 because I had one client who came in for a $15 haircut. That really frustrated angered me because I was already charging $20 for friends and family. ”

Exemplars – Linkages to General Education (“Subject Exploration”) • Again, individuals with college degrees work on different issues than individuals without college degrees. Applying concepts and ideas from all breadth courses matter throughout your personal and professional life. • Arts and Humanities – “Dealing with people is difficult, to say the least. ” • Comparative Cultures – “Most problems are based on human beings or employees themselves. Also, these problems are different from countries and cultures because every country has its own working habits and behaviors. ” • Critical Reasoning – “Using statistics [for soccer] can be good indicators of the areas of improvements. We can have 240 passes and three shots on goal, but live examples will encourage strategic applications of techniques to get more shots on goal. ”

Exemplars – Linkages to General Education (“Subject Exploration”) • Again, individuals with college degrees work on different issues than individuals without college degrees. Applying concepts and ideas from all breadth courses matter throughout your personal and professional life. • Government – “Six bales with some of our larger, and more expensive, antique rugs had been flagged by US Customs in transit from Afghanistan; they were being held at the dock for inspections. ” • History – “The business has been running strong for over 25 years here in the United States. ” • Natural Science – “My first year at the afterschool program was very rewarding. I was the coach of several teams and leader of the science club. ” • Oral Communication – “A simple ‘thank you’ can go a long way. ” – “Speaking in person definitely helped reduce the miscommunication and we were finally on the same page. ”

Exemplars – Linkages to Domain/Subject Matter • Business students have successfully completed lower-division core classes. Students are incorporating these high-level concepts into their writing. • Accounting – “When asked what I did to come up with the numbers [on the financial statements], I had no answer. I had no explanation of how the numbers got there because I really didn’t understand what I was doing. ” • Business Law • Economics – “It was not until after hours were cut that it was made clear to us why we were failing to make sales: management was modeling our location’s sales goals on the sales numbers for a location in San Francisco. ” – “I believe the overarching issue here is that the owner’s sole concern was making as much money as possible while keeping her labor costs to a minimum. ” • Statistics – “On a normal weekend, our restaurant would average about 7, 000 dollars; however, on that specific night we made over 11, 000 dollars. ”

Exemplars – Linkages to Domain/Subject Matter • MGT 360 is the “Principles of Management and Organizational Behavior”. Students, already, have learned about planning, leading, organizing, and controlling and are incorporating these high-level concepts into their writing. • Planning – “Elements of planning are demonstrated when high levels of management determine specific plans and goals of the [bank] tellers. ” • Leading – “Elements of leading are seen when my manager tells me day-to-day words of encouragement and coaches me on how to improve my solutions pitch to customers. ” • Organizing – “Organizing elements can be observed when my manager organizes my work schedules and where I am on the [bank] teller line directionally to maximize my number of customer interactions. ” • Controlling – “Elements of controlling are seen when I am evaluated on my performance to reach my solutions goals at the each quarter end. ”

Exemplars – Linkages to Domain/Subject Matter • Business students may have successfully completed one or more upper-division core classes, other than MGT 360. Students are incorporating these high-level concepts into their writing. • Finance – “I receive credit…when a banker successfully enrolls a customer into online banking, opens accounts, or upon approval of credit card, loan, and lines of credit applications set up by a banker. ” • Marketing – “Fast forward to two years later when [my boss] broke the record of having 1, 000 orders per day on Amazon. • Operations – “Any store has sales problems at one point in their business cycle and it is simply inevitable. ” – “In particular I recall my delivery job from 2013 at a small business called Night Owl Cookies where I had a new method of making our deliveries more efficient. ”

Exemplars – Rhetoric – Quotes • Quotes – – “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks”—Unknown “All ye abandon hope who enter here”—Dante “You can’t create experience. You must undergo it. ”—Albert Camus “[There will be moments] where fate rarely calls upon us during a moment of our choosing”—Transformers (movie) – “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. ”—George Bernard Shaw

Exemplars – Rhetoric – Analogies • Analogies (General) – “During my four years working at this [coffee house], I had to deal with my share of good and bad. Customers wanted their free drink, and management wanted their sales numbers. ” (emphasis added) – “As a business grows, the management team should grow with it. ” (emphasis added) • Analogies (Linkages to movie clip shown in first class) – “Going to work every day became a chore if I knew I would be working with her. However, I knew in the back of my mind that the person that would have to change would be me. Just like in the clips [the class instructor] showed us in class, the horse trainer stated that your life is reflected into your horse, just like my inappropriate behavior reflects back into my team. ” (emphasis added)

Exemplars – Rhetoric • Metaphors – “Working in a pizzeria is all the fun that would be expected, but when the dough rises, so does hell. ” (emphasis added) – “Unfortunately, when it rains, it pours. ” (emphasis added) • Similes – “…there is a breakdown in communication between personal goals and overall team goals. When you walk into our [bank] branch, there is the open area with the desks where the bankers sit, and the windows where the tellers stand. Tellers are separated by a “bandit barrier” to help ensure safety. It seems like this barrier has taken a more literal meaning. Everyone who works on the other side of the bandit barrier is completely separated from the open side. Oftentimes, it feels like we’re two separate countries who have become enemies at war. ” (emphasis added) – “Working there felt like walking on eggshells. ” (emphasis added) • Topic/Content order – “The current method of closing the books was to use Quickbooks online beginning on the 25 th day of the month, but the new proposal was to begin that process five days earlier: the 20 th of each month. ” (order in the original)

Exemplars – Rhetoric – Arguments • Claim – “As a result, I felt harassed and discouraged for most of my time with the company. ” • Reasoning – “In my situation, my value was not based on the quality of my work, but on my failure to socialize. ” • Evidence – “Subsequently, I began to experience a series of negative consequences, [such as]…frequent quality reviews, unprofessional emails, and threats to terminate my employment due to vague reasons. ” • Warrant (Theory) – “In conclusion, management should always try to lead by example and provide all necessary tools for its employees to be successful. ” • Acknowledgement/Response (Counter-argument) – “Initially, I was appreciative and excited of the invitations [to socialize] especially when they were paid by the owner. ” • Qualifications (Limitations) – “Personally, I have had to opportunity to experience both sides of the business, as both an employee and part of the management staff.

Exemplars – Figurative Language • There many different types of “figures of speech”. These are employed to provided additional emphasis for key ideas, concepts, or images in a narrative. In business prose figurative language can be helpful but only if used sparingly. • Cliché – “The shoes you filled when Michael left were huge. ” • Personification • Hyperbole • Symbolism – “I’m confident in your ability to right the ship. ” • Synecdoche • Metonymy

References • Most of the categories for the Composition section of this presentation were excerpted and adapted from the following book: – Hacker, D. , and Sommers, N. (2011) A Writer's Reference (7 th ed. ), Bedford/St. Martin's, Boston: MA. • A few of the categories for the Composition section of this presentation were excerpted and adapted from the following book: – Garner, B. (2013) HBR Guide to Better Business Writing, Harvard Business Review Press, Boston: MA. • The categories for the Prose section of this presentation were excerpted and adapted from the following book: – Tufte, V. (2006), Artful Sentences, Graphics Press, Connecticut. • The categories for the Argument section of this presentation were excerpted and adapted from the following book: – Williams, J. , and Colomb, G. (2007), The Craft of Argument, 3 rd ed. , Pearson Education.