Compassion and SelfCare for Helping Professionals May 2020

Compassion and Self-Care for Helping Professionals May 2020 Lara Palay, LISW-S

© Aldridge Palay, 2020. All rights reserved. All material is to be used, duplicated and/or distributed with permission only.

Self-Awareness and Self-Regulation In order to stay within a compassionate stance, , we have to be able to to work with emotions that arise instead of becoming agitated (high arousal) shutting down (low arousal) 1. recognize and identify what we are experiencing and where we are in our range (self-awareness) 2. deal with our feelings in the moment using strategies to move back into a compassionate stance (self-regulation).

Hyper- and hypo-arousal: being knocked out of tolerance Hyperarousal Hypoarousal

What does compassion feel like? This is individual, but some examples of what a compassionate stance “feels” like: Warmth Caring Hopefulness Centeredness Calm Expansiveness Curiosity “Flow”-timeless focus Patience Confidence

Two Experiences of “Safe” And, there are 2 levels of experiencing safety: Neuroception feeling we’re safe, feeling “at home” Our responses at this level are involuntary. Perception knowing we’re safe; absence of actual threat We can consciously act on this.

Self-Regulation Once we know what we are sensing, feeling and thinking, (neuroception + perception) we can use strategies to reregulate ourselves so we can stay in the room. Attunement with our people is critical, and we can use attunement to inform us and to help them feel safe enough to work with us. We have to use self-awareness and self-regulation to return to a therapeutic stance of compassion when we move from empathy to empathetic distress.

Examples of Strategies for Self-Regulation in the Moment Breath strategies Thought strategies Tapping strategies Movement strategies Regulation and Renewal Over Time Mindful awareness practice Loving-kindness practice Satisfaction experiences Gratification (“Flow”) Experiences Living from Your Character Strengths and Values

Regulation in the moment

Movement Linking movement with breath is practiced around the world. Tai chi is one of many forms of this. Some very simple practices: Waving Hands Like Clouds Trailing Hands Through Water “Gentle and yielding is the principle of life. ” Tao De Ching, 76

Regulation and Renewal Over Time

Taoist Perspective

Sadness is a part of life; it is a part of you Emptiness and fullness are the same Emptiness can also be a sign that it’s time to fill up The important part for the Taoist is the recognition of emptiness as a sign and that what you fill up with must be a part of you, that which makes you authentically whole “When you know and respect your own inner nature, you know where you belong” Karsten Look, 2019

Worry Helps us guide future decisions Dysfunctional when we do it too often Taoist approach: Allowing the worry to flow Courage is not the absence of fear Courage is having fear and going on in spite of it (anyway) Karsten Look, 2019

Buddhist Perspective

“We can let the circumstances of our lives harden us so that we become increasingly resentful and afraid, or we can let them soften us and make us kinder and more open to what scares us. We always have this choice. ” Bhikkhuni Pema Chodron, The Places That Scare You

“A warrior accepts that we can never know what will happen to us next. We can try to control the uncontrollable by looking for security and predictability, always hoping to be comfortable and safe. But the truth is that we can never avoid uncertainty. This not knowing is part of the adventure, and it’s also what makes us afraid. ” Bhikkhuni Pema Chodron, The Places That Scare You

Loving Kindness Meditation Research shows that loving kindness meditation is an effective method of “broadening and building” compassion and positive emotions. It may also be a good practice when we need to move out of empathetic distress and into a compassionate stance.

How do you signal to yourself that you are done with work? Liminal (transition) rituals Use routines to signal that you are leaving from one sphere to another. Cleansing rituals Water (shower, swimming, washing clothes, washing hands) can symbolize leaving behind the emotions, images or concerns of the day. Spiritual Practice Religious prayers, practices or meditations can focus these intentions meaningfully for you.

Flow Clarity of goals and immediate feedback on the progress Complete concentration Actions and awareness are merged Losing awareness of oneself or selfconsciousness Sense of control Transformation of time Activities are intrinsically rewarding

When I Know I Need Self-Compassion: Irritability Chronic Fatigue Indecisiveness Compulsive Escaping: TV Reading Shopping

“Every moment contains within itself the potential for everything it needs” Shostri Janice Glowski, Shambhala Meditation Center of Columbus

Sources and Further Reading Benson H. and Proctor, JD. The Relaxation Revolution. Scribner, 2010. In Harvard Medical School and Longwood Seminars, March 2016. Boellinghaus, I. et al. ”The Role of Mindfulness and Loving-Kindness Meditation in Cultivating Self-Compassion and Other-Focused Concern in Health Care Professionals”. Springer Science+Business Media, New York 2012, in Mindfulness, Vol. 5, 2014. Bradenoch, B. Being a Brain-Wise Therapist: A Practical Guide to Interpersonal Neurobiology. Norton and Co. , 2008. Chodron, P. The Places That Scare You: A guide to fearlessness in difficult times. Shambhala Publications, 2001. Cozolino, J. The Neuroscience of Psychotherapy. W. W. Norton and Co. 2010.

Sources and Further Reading Doige, N. The Brain That Changes Itself. James H Silberman Books, 2007. Dana, D. The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the rhythm of regulation. Norton and Co. 2018 Fredrickson, B. et al. “Open Hearts Build Lives: Positive Emotions, Induced Through Loving-Kindness Meditation, Build Consequential Personal Resources”. Journal of Personal and Social Psychology, 95 (5), Nov. 2008. Holzelab, B. et al. "Mindfulness practice leads to increases in regional brain gray matter density”. Psychiatry Research: Neuroimaging, 191 (1), Jan. 2011. Klimecki, O and Singer, T. “Empathic Distress Fatigue Rather Than Compassion Fatigue? Integrating Findings from Empathy Research in Psychology and Social Neuroscience”. In Pathological Altruism. Oakley et al. , Oxford University Press, 2012.

Sources and Further Reading https: //www. nctsn. org/trauma-informed-care/secondary-traumatic-stress, “Secondary Traumatic Stress”. Lam, L. “ Complex Trauma and LGBTQI+ Clients: Ethical and Clinical Competencies”. Ohio Psychological Association training, June 25 2018. Look, K. “Taoism in Counseling”. Integrated b. Body Mind Spirit Social Work lecture, Ohio State University College of Social Work, 2019. Mathieu, F. The Compassion Fatigue Workbook: Creative Tools for Transforming Compassion Fatigue and Vicarious Traumatization (Psychosocial Stress Series) 1 st ed. Routledge, 2011.

Sources and Further Reading Pearlman, L. A. , and Caringi, J. “Living and working self-reflectively to address vicarious trauma”. In C. A. Courtois & J. D. Ford (Eds. ), Treating Complex Traumatic Stress Disorders: An Evidence-Based Guide. Guilford Press, 2009. Siegel, D. The Mindful Brain: Reflection and Attunement in the Cultivation of Well-Being. New York: Norton and Co. , 2007. Seligman, M. Authentic Happiness. Simon and Schuster, 2002. Singer, T. and Klimecki, O. “Empathy and Compassion”. Current Biology, 24 (18). Sep. 2014. Traumatology Institute Training Curriculum, “Burnout and Compassion Fatigue”. Ont. Canada.

Lara Palay, LISW-S lara@aldridgepalay. com www. aldridgepalay. com 614. 787. 0544