Communication Differences Between the Sexes Socialization affects Communication

Communication Differences Between the Sexes

Socialization affects Communication Patterns • Peer groups Øgirls tend to establish harmony and cooperation Øboys tend to establish dominance and power

Socialization affects Communication Patterns • In Conversations ØBoys value aggressiveness, arguing, storytelling, ostentatious behavior, and tend to dominate conversation ØMore likely to interrupt

Socialization affects Communication Patterns • In Conversations ØGirls seek approval, contribute to conversation instead of interrupt, use listening cues, & make use of indirectness (more on this later)

Language • Very important in socializing • Words are symbols in which we give meanings • They do three things • 1. Define • 2. Describe • 3. Evaluate

Language • Draw the most typical person w/typical name • Language affects women in 3 ways • 1. ) Ignores Them • “Generic he” (Ex: caveman) • There is no gender neutral pronoun (only he, she, & it)

Language • Only 25% named a female when asked to draw a person so for most of us, the “typical” is male • 2. ) Defines women • Female is defined by relationship she has w/a male • Surnames link to father or husband

Language • For a female, a name should be a non issue • Feminists argue changing your name is a loss of identity • Religion of child follows mother so why doesn’t the name? • Historically, wife and children were considered property

Language • 3. ) Deprecates Women - puts them down • Names of men & women who get around (player vs. slut) • We downplay things that are female such as the male vs. female form of a word • Female usually ends in “ess”

Language • Example: Governor v. “governess” • Study: professors were sent journal articles to rate • Were identical except for the name of the author • Females were rated less than if male names were on articles • Females often use pen names

Patterns of Communication • Words hurt and heal • How would you feel if you were constantly criticized? • Men solve (find solutions) and women process (talk about it) and then solve • Females are better at expressing emotion & feelings non-verbally

Non Verbal Skills • Social eye contact - how much eye contact you make in a social situation • Females look away • People who look away seem insecure

Non Verbal Skills • 1 male and female volunteer to sit in chair • Hold hands • Who is leading who? • Personal Space - women take up less • Body position - females sit in more restrictive posture

Non Verbal Skills • (legs crossed) while males sit with legs out • Space is status (ex: bigger office, bigger house)

Verbal Skills • Female friendships characterized by sharing confidences • Male friendships characterized by sharing activities • Women value details & express concern & understanding • Men are socialized to act, not to be concerned

Verbal Skills • When women say “mmhm” they mean “I’m listening” while when men say “mmhm” they mean “I’m agreeing” • Women ask questions to maintain a conversation • Men ask questions to obtain facts and information

Verbal Skills • Masculine - direct or powerful • Feminine - indirect, powerless (seem weak or less convincing) • Doesn’t matter if a person is a male or female • 4 examples of Feminine Speech Patterns

Feminine Speech Patterns • 1. Tag Questions - implies passivity • It’s asking for validation so shows doubt and weakness • EX: “That was a good movie, wasn’t it? ” or “Call me back, all right? ”

Feminine Speech Patterns • 2. Qualifiers - words or phrases that soften a statement • EX: “This may be a stupid question but…” • 3. Longer request phrases • EX: Men to secretary - “Photocopy this for me” while Woman would say to secretary

Feminine Speech Patterns • “When you have the time could you please photocopy this for me” • 4. Fillers - suggest discomfort with a topic • EX: “Ums, ers, ya know, like”