Communicating with Effective Feedback 1 Effective Feedback Agenda
Communicating with Effective Feedback 1
Effective Feedback Agenda § What is it? § How does it work? § Delivering your message 1. capture the situation “S” 2. describe the behavior “B” 3. deliver the impact “I” § Why it’s important § Do’s and Don’ts § The power of successful feedback § Examples § Close / questions 2
What is Effective Feedback? Effective means that one has the ability to deliver a specific message that is clear, powerful, and direct. Feedback exists between two parts when each affects the other. Effective feedback enables the receiver to understand what he/she did and what impact it had on you. When the result is this specific and direct, there is a better chance that the person getting the feedback will be motivated to begin, continue, or stop behaviors that affect performance. 3
How Does It Work? Effective feedback works when § the message accruately represents your thoughts without blame or judgment § it is simple and direct § it is delivered in a timely manner 4
Delivering your message When delivering feedback First, ask for permission: “May I share an observation with you? ” or “May I please give you some feedback? ” • You describe the Situation “when you did” or “when you said” • You describe the Behavior you observed “you were rude during the meeting when you interrupted me” or “you were engaged during our discussion” • You explain the Impact that the behavior had on you “I felt” or “I was” 5
Delivering your message (continued) Not only is it important to capture what is said or done, but how it is said and done § Body language includes facial expressions, eye movement, body posture, and hand gestures § Tone of voice and speaking manner includes speed (fast or low) of words spoken, volume level and pitch (high or low), monotone (bored or uninterested) or excited (happy or grateful) § Choice of words name calling, threatening, insensitive, hurtful 6
Why It’s Important § By communicating the personal impact a behavior has had on you, you are sharing a point of view and asking the other person to view that behavior from your perspective. 7
Do’s and Don’ts § DON’T make judgmental comments. DO keep it focused on the action, not the person. § DON’T be too vague. DO be as specific as possible to identify the exact (good or bad) behavior. § DON’T give feedback that speaks for others. DO just speak for yourself. § DON’T exaggerate the feedback. (“always” or “never”) § DON’T give feedback that goes on too long. § DON’T give feedback that contains an implied threat. (“if you want to succeed…”) § DON’T give feedback in the form of a question. 8
The power of successful feedback § When you deliver effective feedback, whether it is to a peer, friend, or boss; you will accurately represent your thoughts without blame or judgment § You become more aware of your actual behavior § You increase your awareness of that person’s actual behavior and personality § You increase your awareness of the emotional responses you have to the actions of others § You increase the likelihood that you will receive more feedback that you can use for your own development § You become a better communicator. Your efforts become easier.
Examples 1. On Friday, you were not listening to me when I was talking to you. On Friday when I was talking to you, you pushed your chair away from the table and gazed out the window. 2. Last Tuesday while I was explaining my report, you interrupted me. I was mad at you last Tuesday because you interrupted me while I was explaining my report. 3. What did you mean when you told me that I spoke too fast when we were at lunch yesterday? Yesterday at lunch when you told me that I spoke too fast, may I please ask what you meant by that? 10
Let’s try it! Here is the personal Impact: “That made me feel embarrassed” “I was upset when you took control of the project without sharing with me first” “I felt left out when you did not ask me what I thought” “It appeared to me that you were joking” “I felt disappointed when you did not join us” “I was uneasy when you mentioned me in front of everyone” Please come up with the Situation & Behavior 11
Close / questions 12
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