Communicating with Difficult People Tabitha Espina Velasco Critical

Communicating with Difficult People Tabitha Espina Velasco Critical Literacies and Academic Success Program Nov. 28, 2018

Fi’estas

Family Friends na’taotao tomano’ as tareha Fiends For whoever!

Across the table → Across difference

“Race and class and gender struggles and coming to grips with those struggles means that there must be combat in the contact zone. And that persuasion in the sense of conversion is not likely in the few short weeks that we see [others], but the process of change and reconsideration can surely be achieved, the dialectic entered into. ” (50) -Victor Villanueva, Jr. , “Shoot-Out at the I’m OK, You’re OK Corral” (1997)

Communication Framework Based on the essay “Loving Your Enemies” by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Developed by Dr. Anna Plemons, CLASP Director • Strategies for preparing to have a difficult conversation • Strategies for communicating “in the moment”

BEGIN BY ANALYZING YOURSELF (POSITIONALITY) 1. Remember that the other person does not think you are right or that your idea is justified on its own merit 2. Decide not to be competitive/combative Principles of Western rhetoric are combative by nature with little or no attention to listening (Lakoff and Johnson, Metaphors We Live By) 3. Look for—and come to terms with— places of cognitive dissonance between your own ideas and your lived

1. Remember that respect for a person is not the same as respect for their idea. Extending respect keeps you in alignment with your own values. 2. Look for points of agreement (e. g. , we both believe in right and wrong ) Discover the element of good in the other

Don’t take the opportunity to defeat that person (RESPEtu) 1. Live in such a way that the other person could choose to agree with you someday. 2. Or at least let that person’s friendship sharpen your own thinking

In the moment 1. Using the heuristic, decide which kind of moment it is. 2. Decide which story fits the moment. 3. Tell your story. Always resist the urge to add the sermon. 4. Listen to the other person’s story. Demonstrate your listening. 5. Where possible, find a connecting thread. 6. Be done for the day.

Communicating across the fi’esta table 1. ”Pai pai the flies” 2. Choking 3. Balutan (Leftovers) 4. Appetizer 5. Single Serving of Sopas 6. Seconds Guam-ified from “Types of Conversational Engagements” by Anna Plemons

Discuss “Communicating Across the fi’esta Table, ” with your own examples

“What’s on your plate? ” Phrases that demonstrate listening, but not necessarily agreement: https: //padlet. com/tabithaespina/1 gqpe