Communicating technology 5 Paragraphs and topic sentences Definition

Communicating technology 5 • Paragraphs and topic sentences • Definition: peer review LC-1114 Communicating technology

Task 5 -1: This paragraph is far too long. How many paragraphs would you divide this text into? Where are the natural places to make the breaks? 1 Wind energy technology has become a mature renewable electricity generating technology. 2 By Today, the end more ofthan 2007, 74, 000 more MW than of 74, 000 wind capacity MW of wind 3 A end 3 A substantial was/werewas capacity installed worldwide. by the substantial of 2007. portion of this capacity portion has of this 4 During capacity been in commercial has been inoperation commercial for operation more thanfor a decade. more than a decade. this time, manufacturers have gained have considerable gained considerable experience in wind turbine maintenance and are now designing a new generation of wind turbines with a clear focus on maintenance. 5 Low maintenance helpwind make Low maintenance costs help make energy wind energy economically competitive with 6 Wind other energy economically competitive with other energy sources. turbine 6 Wind turbine maintenance costs are typically less than sources. maintenance costs are typically less than maintenance costs for conventional 7 Scheduled forms of electricity maintenance costsgeneration. for conventional forms ofwind electricity turbinegeneration. maintenance is 7 usually Scheduled completed wind turbine twice amaintenance year, resulting is usually in aboutcompleted 12 to 18 hours twiceof a year, downtime 8 Generally, for each maintenance resulting in about 12 toevent. 18 hours of downtime only for a few each turbines maintenance in a facility event. are 8 9 The down Generally, at anyonly one atime fewfor turbines maintenance in a facility activities. are down atonly any time one time the entire for facility is brought maintenance activities. off-line 9 The is foronly substation time themaintenance, entire facility which is brought usually off-line lastsisfor onlysubstation for about 12 maintenance, hours and occurs which twice usually a year lasts during for only low about production 12 hours periods. and occurs twice a year during low production periods.

Task 5 -1: 9 The only time the entire facility is brought off-line is for substation maintenance, which usually lasts for only about 12 hours and occurs twice a year during low production periods. 10 Generator and gearbox rebuilds are facilities’ costly maintenance wind facilities’ two mosttwo costlymost maintenance items. 11 Not onlyitems. are the 11 Not only are the replacement expensive but major expense is also replacement components expensive but major expense is also associated withand obtaining andthe mobilizing the large crane needed to repair with obtaining mobilizing large crane needed to repair these 12 Moreover, these components. the actual costs and costs, in/out costs, components. the actual crane costs and in/out a longalead long lead get the crane theset site set up is common, in time to gettime the to crane to the siteto and upand is common, resulting inresulting longer than 13 To improve 13 To longer than planned down time andlost additional revenue. To improve planned down time and additional revenue. lost improve generator performance, manufacturers are improving windelectrical turbines’wind electrical performance, manufacturers are improving wind turbines’ 14 Larger turbines (greater than 1 14 Larger turbines’ architecture. electrical (greater than 1 MW) have typically used variable MW) have speed typically constant usedfrequency variable speed (VSCF) constant technology frequency to produce (VSCF) 60 Hz 15 This technology output from to technology theproduce wind turbine’s 60 Hz output variable from input thespeed. wind turbine’s variable input was 15 This developed speed. in the technology 1990 s and was is limited developed by the in the solid 1990 s stateand switches is limited usedbyatthe that 16 16 time. state solid However, switches one used unintended at that time. consequence However, of one this technology unintended is the production of aofstray consequence this technology current in the is the generator production rotor. of 17 a This stray current in the follows therotor. generator path 17 to This ground stray and, current in doing follows so, arcs the path across to ground the generator and, in doing bearings, so, arcs across causing thethe generator bearings, to fail. causing the generator to fail.

Task 5 -1: 18 To address this problem, turbine manufacturers are currently working to develop less complex VSCF systems. 19 Some manufacturers of new turbines are using permanent magnet generators that eliminate current in the rotor, thus eliminating arcing damage. 20 These new simpler controller/converter designs use today’s solid state technology, which is much improved over the solid state technology of the 1990 s. 21 In addition, these controllers/converters contain fewer parts to maintain and/or fail, making the design simpler and more reliable. 22 As wind turbines have increased in size, gearbox reliability hasmore suffered more increased in size, gearbox reliability has suffered than any otherthan 23 Wind turbines are one of the most any other maintenance area. are maintenance area. 23 Wind turbines one of the most demanding applications for gearboxes to variable that are extremely demanding fordue gearboxes dueloads to variable loads that aredifficult to 24 The larger predict. 24 The larger blades common on larger machines in massive extremely difficult to predict. blades commonresult on larger machines torqueinthrough thetorque three-stage typically gearbox used in these large turbines. result massive throughgearbox the three-stage typically used in 25 In an attempt to meet the increased torque 25 these turbines. In anlarge attempt to meet requirement, Inthe anincreased attempt totorque meet the increasedmanufacturers torque 26 requirement, manufacturers have developed huge, costlyhave ring gears and bearings. When theseandring requirement, manufacturers developed huge, costly ring gears 26 When these components fail (often due to torque 26 When gears and bearings. components fail (often due to torque-related stress), replacement components bearings. these components fail (often due to torque-related stress), 27 difficult are expensive, as well as difficult and timeas consuming to replace. Because replacement related stress), components replacement arecomponents expensive, are well expensive, as difficult as and well time as 27 Because thesetime components are heavy, replacement almost always requires a crane, consuming and consuming to replace. to 27 replace. Because these components are heavy, are replacement heavy, resulting in not only lead delay but lost revenue aslead well. almost replacement always almost requires always a time crane, requires resulting a crane, in production not resulting only lead in not timeonly delay buttime lost production delay but lost revenue production as well. revenue as well.

Task 5 -1: 25 25 In Inan anattemptto tomeetthe theincreasedtorquerequirement, manufacturershavedevelopedhuge, costlyringgearsand 26 26 bearings. Whenthesecomponentsfail(oftendue dueto totorque-related stress), replacementcomponentsare areexpensive, as aswellas asdifficultand andtime 27 27 consumingto toreplace. Becausethesecomponentsare areheavy, replacement almostalwaysrequiresaacrane, resultingininnot notonlyleadtimedelaybut butlost 28 To production problems associated productionrevenueas aswell. 28 To mitigate thethe problems associated with large turbine gearboxes, manufacturers are working on various gearbox 29 A distributed load path gearbox has 29 A distributed various gearbox improvements. load path gearbox has recently been recently introduced been that introduced uses multiple that uses generators multiple and generators a multipleand path, a multiple distributed path, distributed gearbox togearbox split theto load. split 30 the This load. split 30 load Thispath split reduces load pathstrain reduces on gears strainand on 31 design. gears simplifies and the simplifies design. the Because 31 the Because designthe uses design multiple usessmaller multiple generators, smaller generators, it potentiallyit allows potentially generator allowsreplacement generator replacement without the without lead time thedelay lead and time delay cost of and thecost external of thecrane. external crane.

How do I know when to start a new paragraph? Start a new paragraph… • when you begin a new idea, point, or claim. • to contrast information or ideas. • when you are ending your introduction or starting your conclusion • when your readers need a pause

What is a paragraph? § A sentence or a group of sentences dealing with one single topic. § A paragraph focuses only on one main idea/topic § Each paragraph should have its own topic sentence § New idea / point / claim = new paragraph + topic sentence

Task 5 -1: What is so special about sentences 5, 10, 13, 18, 22, 25, 28 ? 5 Low maintenance costs help make wind energy economically competitive with other energy sources. 10 Generator and gearbox rebuilds are wind facilities’ two most costly maintenance items. 13 To improve generator performance, manufacturers are improving wind turbines’ electrical architecture. 18 To address this problem, turbine manufacturers are currently working to develop less complex VSCF systems. 22 As wind turbines have increased in size, gearbox reliability has suffered more than any other maintenance area. 25 In an attempt to meet the increased torque requirement, manufacturers have developed huge, costly ring gears and bearings. 28 To mitigate the problems associated with large turbine gearboxes, manufacturers are working on various gearbox improvements.

What is a topic sentence? A general statement including the topic of the paragraph and the main idea about that topic in the paragraph §wider in its scope than the rest of the sentences §specific enough to reflect the main idea expressed in the paragraph §presents the idea or claim that is supported by specific details in the later sentences

Why use topic sentences? Topic sentences improve readability by § unifying the contents of a paragraph § presenting the reader with the topic or claim to be discussed and how it will be treated § allowing readers to quickly scan the main ideas in a text

How to form a topic sentence? Topic sentences consist of two parts: § topic (i. e. the general idea: new topic or claim) § controlling idea/s (i. e. what you want to say about the topic)

TOPIC SENTENCES New topic 1 The Finnish higher education system consists of universities and polytechnics. 2 The universities stress the connection between research and teaching. 3 The basic purpose of the universities is to carry out scientific research and to provide teaching in related subjects. 4 Students at universities may take a lower (Bachelor’s) or higher (Master’s) academic degree, as well as academic further education, consisting of licentiate and doctoral degrees. 5 Universities also arrange further education and open university teaching. 6 In contrast, polytechnics emphasize a connection with working life, and the degrees offered are higher education degrees with a professional emphasis. 7 Located throughout Finland, universities and polytechnics aim to ensure that all prospective students have equal opportunities for study, regardless of where they live.

TOPIC SENTENCES New topic 1 The Finnish higher education system consists of universities and polytechnics. 2 The universities stress the connection between research and teaching. 3 The basic purpose of the universities is to carry out scientific research and to provide teaching in related subjects. 4 Students at universities may take a lower (Bachelor’s) or higher (Master’s) academic degree, as well as academic further education, consisting of licentiate and doctoral degrees. 5 Universities also arrange further education and open university teaching. 6 In contrast, polytechnics emphasize a connection with working life, and the degrees offered are higher education degrees with a professional emphasis. 7 Located throughout Finland, universities and polytechnics aim to ensure that all prospective students have equal opportunities for study, regardless of where they live.

TOPIC SENTENCES (pp. 39 -42) New topic 1 The Finnish higher education system consists of universities and universities of applied sciences. . 2 The universities stress the connection between research and teaching. 3 The basic purpose of the universities is to carry out scientific research and to provide teaching in related subjects. 4 Students at universities may take a lower (Bachelor’s) or higher (Master’s) academic degree, as well as academic further education, consisting of licentiate and doctoral degrees. 5 Universities also arrange further education and open university teaching. 6 In contrast, univiersities of applied sciences emphasize a connection with working life, and the degrees offered are higher education degrees with a professional emphasis. 7 Located throughout Finland, universities and universities of applied sciences aim to ensure that all prospective students have equal opportunities for study, regardless of where they live.

TOPIC SENTENCES (pp. 39 -42) New topic 1 The Finnish higher education system consists of universities and universities of applied sciences. universities stress the connection between research and teaching. 3 The basic purpose of the universities is to carry out scientific research and to provide teaching in related subjects. 4 Students at universities may take a lower (Bachelor’s) or higher (Master’s) academic degree, as well as academic further education, consisting of licentiate and doctoral degrees. 5 Universities also arrange further education and open university teaching. 6 In contrast, universities of applied sciences emphasize a connection with working life, and the degrees offered are higher education degrees with a professional emphasis. 7 Located throughout Finland, universities and universities of applied sciences aim to ensure that all prospective students have equal opportunities for study, regardless of where they live. 2 The

TOPIC SENTENCES (pp. 39 -42) New topic 1 The Finnish higher education system consists of universities and universities of applied sciences. universities stress the connection between research and teaching. 3 The basic purpose of the universities is to carry out scientific research and to provide teaching in related subjects. 4 Students at universities may take a lower (Bachelor’s) or higher (Master’s) academic degree, as well as academic further education, consisting of licentiate and doctoral degrees. 5 Universities also arrange further education and open university teaching. 6 In contrast, universities of applied sciences emphasize a connection with working life, and the degrees offered are higher education degrees with a professional emphasis. 7 Located throughout Finland, universities and universities of applied sciences aim to ensure that all prospective students have equal opportunities for study, regardless of where they live. 2 The

TOPIC SENTENCES (pp. 39 -42) New topic 1 The Finnish higher education system consists of universities and universities of applied sciences. universities stress the connection between research and teaching. 3 The basic purpose of the universities is to carry out scientific research and to provide teaching in related subjects. 4 Students at universities may take a lower (Bachelor’s) or higher (Master’s) academic degree, as well as academic further education, consisting of licentiate and doctoral degrees. 5 Universities also arrange further education and open 2 The university teaching. 6 In contrast, universities of applied sciences emphasize a connection with working life, and the degrees offered are higher education degrees with a professional emphasis. 7 Located throughout Finland, universities and universities of applied sciences aim to ensure that all prospective students have equal opportunities for study, regardless of where they live.

Task 5 -2 CLAIM a) b) b) c) c) d) d) e) e) Select the topic sentence that best controls the body of each paragraph below. The causes of workplace injuries have dramatically increased. . Workplace injuries can frequently be attributed to a numberto of causes. Workplace injuries can frequently be attributed a number of causes. A major cause of workplace injury is lifting or carrying heavy objects. A major cause of workplace injury isplace. lifting or carrying heavy objects. The workplace can be a dangerous place. Studies have found things influencing injuries in the workplace 1 Lifting or carrying heavy and awkward objects has been shown to 1 account for one-third of all injuries requiring sick leave of three days or more. 22 The second most common cause of injuries results from being struck by falling objects or hit by moving vehicles. 33 Another cause typically involves slipping or tripping due to either poor housekeeping or failure to promptly clear up spillages. 44 Most studies show that the greatest number of fatalities over the last decade have been due to contact with a harmful substance. 55 Finally, falls from a height, such as from a ladder or elevated walkways has been shown to be the cause of serious injuries, especially in construction engineering.

Task 5 -2 CLAIM a) b) c) d) e) Select the topic sentence that best controls the body of each paragraph below. The causes of workplace injuries have dramatically increased. . Workplace injuries can frequently be attributed to a number of causes. A major cause of workplace injury is lifting or carrying heavy objects. The workplace can be a dangerous place. Studies have found things influencing injuries in the workplace 1 Lifting or carrying heavy and awkward objects has been shown to 1 account one-third of injuries all injuries requiring leave of three account forfor one-third of all requiring sick leave of three days 2 The 2 second days or more. The second most common causeresults of injuries or more. most common cause of injuries from 3 Another being struck results from being by falling struck objects by falling or hitobjects by moving or hitvehicles. by moving vehicles. 3 Another cause typically involves slipping or tripping due to either poor 4 Most poor housekeeping or failure to promptly up spillages. housekeeping or failure to promptly clear up spillages. studies show the greatest of fatalities last have show that the that greatest number of fatalities over theover last the decade 5 5 Finally, decade have been due contact substance. with a harmful substance. been due to contact withto a harmful falls from a Finally, falls from a height, such from awalkways ladder or has elevated height, such as from a ladder or as elevated been shown walkways has been showninjuries, to be the causeinof serious injuries, to be the cause of serious especially construction especially in construction engineering.

Task 5 -2 CLAIM a) b) c) d) e) Select the topic sentence that best controls the body of the paragraph. The causes of workplace injuries have dramatically increased. . Workplace injuries can frequently be attributed to a number of causes. A major cause of workplace injury is lifting or carrying heavy objects. The workplace can be a dangerous place. Studies have found things influencing injuries in the workplace 1 1 Lifting carrying heavy and awkward objects has been Lifting oror carrying heavy and awkward objects has been shown to shown account one-third all injuries accounttofor one-thirdfor of all injuries of requiring sickrequiring leave of sick threeleave daysof 2 The second most common cause of 2 The three days or more. second most common cause of injuries results from 3 Another injuries results from being falling objects or hit by being struck by falling objects struck or hit by by moving vehicles. 3 Another cause typically involves slipping or moving vehicles. cause typically involves slipping or tripping due to either poor 4 Most tripping dueor tofailure eithertopoor housekeeping or failure to promptly clear housekeeping promptly clear up spillages. studies up spillages. Most studies show that the greatest of fatalities show that the 4 greatest number of fatalities over the number last decade have 5 Finally, over decade with havea been due to contact withfalls a harmful beenthe duelast to contact harmful substance. from a substance. fallsorfrom a height, such fromshown a ladder height, such as 5 Finally, from a ladder elevated walkways hasasbeen or elevated walkways has been shown to beinthe cause of serious to be the cause of serious injuries, especially construction injuries, especially in construction engineering.

Techniques for Enumeration Superordinate terms 'Umbrella' terms that can stand for an entire class or category of things. VEHICLES (superordinate) lorries cars bicycles trams ships Typical superordinate terms: Option Alternative Example Criterion Feature Aspect Benefit Advantage Drawback Problem Issue Technique Method Strategy Approach Solution Reason Consequence Cause Effect Factor Phase Stage Step Procedure

Topic Sentence Challenge • Get together in teams of 3 -4 students • Assign the role or ‘writer’ to one student and the other students provide oral support • Using post its, write down as many topic sentences as you can using the superordinates • When the teacher calls ‘time’ stick your topic sentences on the wall/board

Topic Sentence Rating • Move to another teams wall of topic sentences • As a team, organize the post-it´s from top (best topic sentence) to bottom (worst topic sentence)

Add a list of subordinates • Move to a different team’s topic sentence wall. • Only one person on your team will be the writer and post it sticker. The rest of the team helps generate ideas • Adding only to their ‘top 2’ topic sentences, add as many subordinates of their superordinate as you can think of using post its.

Go back to your own post it wall • Using the best topic sentence (chosen by another group) 2 -3 of the subordinates (developed by another team), co-create a paragraph based on your topic sentence and using the subordinate terms generated by another team.

See also Language aids - Addition and cause-effect - Enumeration - Comparison and contrast

Task 5 -3: Provide a topic statement for paragraphs A and B. A Many common foods and products contain hidden caffeine. 2 Everyone knows about the presence of caffeine in coffee and tea, but it may not be generally known that caffeine is present in cola drinks. 3 Products made with cocoa, like hot chocolate and chocolate bars, include this stimulant too, although its presence is not readily evident to us. 4 Prescription and nonprescription drugs used for headaches and migraines are another hidden source of caffeine. 5 Since consuming caffeine in excess is harmful, it is important to be aware of the products that contain it.

Task 5 -3: Provide a topic statement for paragraphs A and B. A Many common foods and products contain hidden caffeine. 2 Everyone knows about the presence of caffeine in coffee and tea, but it may not be generally known that caffeine is present in cola drinks. 3 Products made with cocoa, like hot chocolate and chocolate bars, include this stimulant too, although its presence is not readily evident to us. 4 Prescription and nonprescription drugs used for headaches and migraines are another hidden source of caffeine. 5 Since consuming caffeine in excess is harmful, it is important to be aware of the products that contain it.

Task 5 -3: B The efficiency of a gasoline-powered car is surprisingly low. 2 All of the heat that comes out as exhaust or goes into the radiator is wasted energy. 3 The engine also uses a lot of energy turning the various pumps, fans and generators that keep it going. 4 Thus, the overall efficiency of an automotive gas engine is about 20 percent. 5 That is, only about 20 percent of thermal-energy content of the gasoline is converted into mechanical work.

Task 5 -3: B The efficiency of a gasoline-powered car is surprisingly low. 2 All of the heat that comes out as exhaust or goes into the radiator is wasted energy. 3 The engine also uses a lot of energy turning the various pumps, fans and generators that keep it going. 4 Thus, the overall efficiency of an automotive gas engine is about 20 percent. 5 That is, only about 20 percent of thermalenergy content of the gasoline is converted into mechanical work.

Task 5 -3: C Economics integrates knowledge from many other fields. 2 For example, geography is needed for an understanding of economics because natural resources and transportation affect production and distribution of goods. 3 Changes in engineering affect economics. 4 Psychology is also related because it can help the economist understand why some people want some products and not others. 5 Because it is necessary to calculate averages and trends, mathematics is important to economics. 6 Finally, the language and the writing method used may help or hinder trade. 7 Excelling in economics requires knowledge of numerous other disciplines.

Each paragraph… § should have its own topic sentence § focuses only on one main idea/topic The topic sentence… § presents the topic and how it will be treated in that paragraph

Peer review Assignment 3: description of ‘solution’ Pattern: extended definition Work in groups of 3 students LC-1114 Communicating technology

Peer review 2: extended definition Help your co-students improve their texts • Read two other students’ texts • Use the questions in the checklists as guidelines - first text -> Part 1 - second text -> Part 2 • Note down your observations. • Share and discuss your comments with the author • Give the paper with your comments to the author. • Use the feedback from your peers to improve the text. • After corrections, submit to My. Courses (Assignment 3).

Peer critique 2: extended definition Work in groups of three students Give your paper to the other students. STEP 1: Read text 1 and focus on questions in part 1. 15 min - Use the template for your notes. - Decide which 2 are the most important. STEP 2: Read text 2 and focus on questions in part 2. - Use the template for your notes. 15 min If you have extra time, continue reading and focus on questions you have not yet considered, i. e. part 1 or part 2. 15 STEP 3: Get together with the other group members. min Discuss one text at a time. Explain your observations and share any improvement suggestions. STEP 4: Give your notes to the author.

See you next week! LC-1114 Communicating technology