Common Errors and Shortcomings in Technical Writing Mgr

Common Errors and Shortcomings in Technical Writing Mgr. Gabriela Durnová MU Language Centre March 2012 1

Outline n n n n n Tenses, hedging, human X non-human subjects Subject-verb agreement Word-order The Active/The Passive Vocabulary Articles Numerical information Punctuation (Miscellaneous) 2

Tenses - express the degree of acceptance of information. n Present tense n Established knowledge, facts, universal truths. ¨ The operation of highly loaded machine components is significantly influenced by the topography of rubbing surfaces. n Past tense (past simple) n New methods and findings of author’s own research. ¨ (Present tense – arrogant. Present perfect – results/study. . . incomplete. ) ¨ We sought to determine if A is related to B. ¨ The experiment confirmed that…. n Reference to results of a specific study: past tense Barks and Miel reported that 20% of the population is prone to… n n Reference to tables and figures: present simple ¨ Table 4 shows …/Fig. 2 presents … 3

Tenses - consistency n Consistency within paragraphs/sentences n Example (discussion section, own results) ¨ *Foot analysis has provided information on load and geometric configuration and the results were in accordance with previous study data. ¨ The foot analysis provided information on load and geometric configuration and its results corresponded with previous study data. 4

Tenses in an abstract n n n n ABSTRACT: Present simple When referring to the paper/report itself: The paper discusses… The report focuses on… The aim of the paper is to… When presenting findings that are/appear to be generally true: The study/research shows that… The experiment indicates that… Past simple Methods + concrete results: A total number of 180 samples of… were analysed… 24% were positive for. . . When the past activity is clearly in the centre of attention: The study was conducted to determine the… 5

Sequence of tenses - exceptions n The “backshift” of tenses doesn’t occur when: n 1) There is a concrete time reference: Roberts pointed out that first experiments were conducted in the late 1940 s. (X The study points out that first experiments were conducted in the late 1940 s. ) n n 2) There is a general statement (= fact and definition) or the statement is valid at present: The main goal of these studies was to determine how the socket acts on the residual limb. 6

Hedging n n n Categorical statements: This is…/They are… XXX Tentative language/hedging (It seems to, appears to…/ They may, could…) ¨ may indicate a lack of confidence when used inappropriately: (e. g. phrases such as “intends to”, “aims to”, and “has the goal of”) n “Gen. Bank aims to provide a searchable database of sequences. ” “Gen. Bank is a searchable sequence database”. n (“to aim/intend to do st. ” – should be avoided) n 7

Who does what? Human X Non-human subjects ✖ A study that collects information from the time of diagnosis is needed. n A study is needed in which data can be collected from the time of diagnosis. n ✖ This study seeks to … n ✖ This research aims to … n ✖ This study looks at …. n 8

n n n ✖ The study aims to detect a relation between "A" and "B". ✓ The aim of (conducting) this study was to investigate whether "A" is related to "B". ✖ Previous studies have looked at an association between "A" and "B". ✓ Previous researchers have investigated the association between "A" and "B". ✖ Table 2 compares exposure levels in the cases and controls. ✓ Table 2 shows exposure levels in the case and control groups. 9

Examples of verbs taking a human subject only or human/non-human subject n Verbs taking a human subject only: ¨ observe, record, compare, identify, describe, see, speculate, conclude, believe, know, collect, seek, aim n Verbs taking a human as well as a non-human subject: ¨ show, demonstrate, indicate, suggest, 10 support, confirm, imply, need

S-W agreement I n *The number of these episodes were generally very low. n *An evaluation of the experimental results, as well as the clinical findings, are described. n *This data is significant. 11

S-W agreement II n n n n either…. or; neither…. nor: the verb must agree with the nearest subject. *Neither the physical behaviour of these substances nor their half-life data was known. Neither the physical behaviour of these substances nor their half-life data were known. X Either of the explanations is acceptable. none: can take either singular or plural verbs None of these mistakes are common. None of these mistakes is common. 12

Word order: SWOMPT n Which sounds natural? A) or b)? n 1 a) At present exist several approaches to… 1 b) At present, there are several approaches to… n “There are dozens of research resources at NCBI. ” – paraphrase when possible “NCBI offers dozens of research resources. ” n n 2 a) The team is experienced enough to succeed. 2 b) The team is enough experienced to succeed. 3 a) The main causes of this trend have yet to be discovered. 3 b) The main causes of this trend have to be discovered yet. 13

n n n n 4 a) The aim is to determine what factors do influence the occurrence of. . . 4 b) The aim is to determine what factors influence the occurrence of. . 5 a) The survey revealed the reasons why are Czech small and medium sized firms more prone to bankruptcy than their foreign counterparts. 5 b) The survey revealed the reasons why Czech small and medium sized firms are more prone to bankruptcy than their foreign counterparts. 6 a) There is, however, currently no information about. . 6 b) However, there is no current information about. . . 7 a) The tissue was minced and samples incubated. 7 b) The tissue was minced and were samples incubated. 14

Word order and clarity n *In connection with the development of modern computational techniques, besides experimental methods, numerical methods have also been increasingly used, especially … n Besides experimental methods, numerical methods based on/relying on modern computation techniques have also been increasingly used, especially … 15

Active voice n Active voice: the subject performs the action. ¨ clarity of expression: more direct, dynamic, concise, forceful… ¨ sounds more natural ¨ economy – saves words ¨ sentence overuse emphasises the performer of the action n First person: I/We…. ok, but should be used sparingly. 16

Passive voice n Passive voice: the subject receives the action. ¨ impersonal style = the agent is unimportant, unknown or clear from the context ¨ (was) associated with greater professionalism and objectivity - methodology ¨ adds formality ¨ often needs nominalisation (longer/awkward sentences) ¨ can spoil your writing when overused 17

Active X Passive n Both are „correct“ and well-accepted. n => T/S/A TEXT = A BALANCED MIXTURE OF ACTIVE AND PASSIVE SENTENCES n Use the passive only when you really need to! ¨ (methodology x introduction, results, discussion) n Consider the emphasis in the sentence and whether the sentence needs to be more dynamic. n Don’t mix the Active with I/We and the P within a single sentence! 18

Active or passive? n n 1 a) A detailed description of the apparatus is presented in this report. 1 b) This report presents a detailed description of the apparatus. 2 a) This study was focused on further development of… 2 b) This study focused on further development… n 3 a) One sample was dissolved prior to thermal treatment. At 30 min. intervals, samples were withdrawn and dissolved in carrier solutions, and the temperature of the bath was increased by approx. 5°C. n 3 b) We dissolved one sample prior to thermal treatment. At 30 min. intervals, we withdrew samples and dissolved them in carrier solutions, and we increased the temperature of the bath by approx. 5°C. 19

A/P and in-text references n n In Ref. [20], a FE model of the SACH foot was created and then used to address the effect of viscoelastic heel performance as an example of parametric analysis. ¨ (performer + active verb) Saunders et al. [20] created a FE model of the SACH foot and used it to address the effect of viscoelastic heel performance as an example of parametric analysis. 20

A/P and referring to tables/figures n Try to use the Active when possible. n Fig. 5 shows force-deflection behaviour of the over-ball toe spring bending test and of the foot heal strike and toe off tests. The experimental and the FEA results are compared there. ¨ (two types of results – one sentence) Fig. 5 shows the experimental and the FEA results for the force-deflection behaviour of the over-ball toe spring n bending test, and of the foot heal strike and toe off tests. 21

Eliminating the Passive n …, kinematic data was analyzed, using the APAS software so that time-dependent angular displacements of the prosthesis at base planes were obtained. n (*so that st. is obtained = to obtain st. ) n …, kinematic data were analysed, using the APAS software to obtain the timedependent angular displacements of the prosthesis at base planes. 22

Verb forms X noun forms n n n By analysing the data…. By analysis of the data…. An evaluation of the data was acomplished. The data were evaluated. The new equipment will be installed in May 2012. The installation of the new equipment will be carried out in May 2012. 23

Vocabulary n n basic (75%), general academic (10%), technical (5%) Synonyms ¨ ¨ n n To avoid monotony To sound more accurate Jacob (1998) says that the test is not 100% reliable. Jacob (1998) concedes/claims/argues/observes/… that the test is not 100% reliable. (E. g. describe, contend, examine, state, disagree, observe, assert, support, claim, dispute, suggest, persuade, dismiss, refute – to say st. is wrong/false, propose, recommend, object, contradict…) Clarity – basic + academic 1 basic vocabula ry do academic vocabulary 2 so 3 often consequentl y frequently 4 find discover 5 very 6 get rid of considerabl y eliminate 7 but however 8 important significant 9 good sound 10 show illustrate conduct 24

Uninformative words/illogical phrases n n n n brief in duration sufficient in number It was precooled before use. We repeated the experiment again. carefully investigate past history mix together advance planning globular in shape large in size more preferable than seem to appear for a period of several minutes more optimal 25

Nominal phrases X strong verbs make assumption → assume n is a function of → depends on n is an illustration → shows, illustrates n is a requirement → requires, needs to n had difference → differed n… n 26

Language to avoid n The results *would seem to indicate the possibility that impurities might be present. n *As far as my experiments are concerned, they show… n *It has been found that… ¨ There was (*found) no difference of response for various loading rates. n *It is interesting to note… n *Needless to say, … 27

Clear language? ? ? 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) 6) 7) 8) The experiment was interrupted *in view of the fact that there was too much oxygen. Its performance *was observed to be rather poor. We hope to find an alternative vaccine *in the near future. The handbook will be *in most cases used by parents of children with moderate and severe mental impairment. A lack of public interest *is suggestive of a need to promote healthy diet and lifestyle. Researchers were not sure *as to whether involve teenagers aged over 15 or not. The new centre will be located *in the vicinity of the university campus. *In the event that the test fails, we are ready to do necessary changes. 28

Irregular nouns n n n n n focus radius stimulus index matrix formula axis analysis basis crisis ellipsis hypothesis paralysis synthesis criterion datum medium phenomenon stratum foci/focuses radii stimuli indeces/indexes matrices/matrixes formulae/formulas axes analyses bases crises ellipses hypotheses paralyses syntheses criteria data media phenomena strata 29

Spelling differences Br. E X Am. E n n n n Br. E practice (noun) X to practise (verb) Am. E practice Br. E analyse, catalyse, organise Am. E analyze, catalyze, organize Br. E centre, fibre, litre, metre Am. E center, fiber, liter, meter Br. E colour Am. E color n Br. E to distil, to fulfil Am. E to distill, to fulfill n Consistency with punctuation and formal features – Br. E ar Am. E style. n 30

Words and phrases confused n n n n COMMONLY CONFUSED WORDS AND PHRASES… Spelling mistakes + spell-check: than X then causal X casual form X from affect X effect Meaning: economic X economical satisfactory X satisfying actual X current, existing, contemporary… personal X personnel HOMOPHONES: principle X principal site X sight X cite staff X stuff stationary X stationery 31

More phrases causing confusion n n n n despite X although, even though besides X apart from, except (for) on one side of the…on the other side of the… X On the one hand, . . . on the other hand once, twice X three times, four times… between X among from…to (end points included) X between…and (end points excluded) at the end of… X (in the end)/finally at the beginning/start of …. 32

"due to" X "because of" X "is attributable to" n due to ("negative reason"); "be due to do" – The use is often discouraged. n n n If a gene has multiple transcripts because of alternative splicing, then a variation can have several different functional relationships to the gene. …or whether the similarity observed is attributable to chance alone. Much of the success of the project is attributable to the flood of new molecular data. 33

Differences between Czech and English n *in these days X nowadays, at present, currently, these days, today… n *designing of st. *constructing of st. *determining of st. X designing new procedures and strategies, constructing new communication devices for the hearing impaired determining the main features of practical performance n products *in good quality X high-quality products n *mutual cooperation, relationship…X mutual benefit… n collaborate – ok n reconstruct, reconstruction x renovate, renovation 34

Articles – main principles n Use "a/an" with singular countable nouns meaning “one, some”. - often after “to be”, “to have” and “there is” There was a weak explosion followed by…. n Use "the" with concrete/specific/unique nouns. The effect of the shoe on the load distribution between the ground and the foot. n n n n Use "zero article" with plural nouns and uncountable nouns when the reference is general. However, previous research did not consider…. There is mounting evidence that… Don’t use articles when referring to figures or tables: Table 2 lists the applied indicators. The increasing tendency is shown in Fig. 5. 35

"the/a/-" in "of phrases" n When specifying, use “the + noun + of”: ¨ the effect of the shoe; the thickness of the layer; the size of these particles… n General reference: ¨ There is a lack of/ a shortage of resources…. ¨ Properties of these substances indicate… 36

Articles in appositive phrases n a well-known person: ¨ Sir Alexander Fleming, Scottish bacteriologist and discoverer of penicillin, . . . n a person who may be known: ¨ Otto Wichterle, the inventor of modern soft contact lenses, … n a person who is not known: ¨ Mark Wright, a traveller and photographer, … 37

Terms and abbreviations n Avoid capitalisation of terms - technical terms are in lower-case. n (Upper case may be used when explaining an abbreviation, as in Asynchronous Transfer Mode (ATM). n Abbreviations: check if they take an article or not. "The Transmission Control Protocol delivers a byte stream" but "TCP delivers a byte stream. " (abstract term) ¨ The finite element analysis → FEA X ¨ The TCP design was successful. (The article refers to the design, not TCP. ) ¨ The FEA simulation of the whole foot showed excellent agreement. ¨ n Abbreviations for organizations typically do take a definite article: ¨ The Internet Engineering Task Force "The goal of the IETF is to. . " n "LCD display"? ? ? (LCD = Liquid Crystal Display) → incorrect use. n Check that abbreviations are always explained before use, unless every reader is really expected to know. 38

Referring to a date/a decade n Common forms: 27 November 2010 27 Nov. 2010 November 27, 2010 Nov. 27, 2010 27/11 2010 (Br. E) 11/27 2010 (Am. E) 27 -11 -2010 n !!!Never: 27. 7. 2010 n in 1956 X in the 1950 s n n n n 39

Numerical information n Decimal comma: 300, 000 Decimal point: 2. 65 % Unit: 8 mm NOT *8 mm Currency symbols: $2. 3 mil. n a half, a third, a quarter = countables n Approximately a third of the samples was excluded. The overall benefits exceeded the costs by a ratio of three to one. n n n Numbers ten or less are spelled out: "It consists of three fields, " not "3 fields". 40

Trends – grammar n n n Articles: Between 1995 and 2005 there was a slight decrease/ a massive fall in jobs in industry. In academic year 2006 -2007 there was a general increase in student numbers, as most faculties registered a rise in enrolments. Prepositions: An increase / a decrease / a rise / a drop… in st. X An increase / a decrease / a rise / a drop… of 25% X An increase / a decrease / a rise / a drop… to 25% X Similarly, in industry the workforce fell by two percent globally. 41

Punctuation – compound sentence n M, n n n and M. , and then , but , whereas , so either…, or… / neither…, nor n Desalination is an expensive process using large amounts of energy, but research into the development of more efficient technology is currently being pursued. n BUT: All samples were analysed and classified. BUT: It was neither cold nor wet. n 42

Punctuation – complex sentence I M S. (M = main/independent clause/S = subordinate/dependent clause) n because n that n although n if n when n where n n n The process of surface texturing was quite time-consuming because only one Rockwell indenter was used to obtain micro-dents with well -defined shapes… The process stops automatically when/after/as soon as the full 43 capacity is reached.

Punctuation – complex sentence II n S, M. n If…, n When…, n As soon as…, n Although…, n When the full capacity was reached, the process stopped automatically. 44

Punctuation – "extra info" in an initial position n „Extra info“, M. n To overcome problems with water shortage, the public are encouraged to limit their consumption. Supposing theory is right, there should be… Surprisingly, later results did not confirm the initial findings. However, there are disadvantages to holding large sports events. In addition, the increased number of visitors to the area can cause… In 1995(, ) 43% of world’s workforce was employed in agriculture. By the 1960 s(, ) the population more than doubled. Since 1958(, ) China has used these two methods to exploit… At four of the hospitals, the research nurses placed… After six days, surviving colonies were counted and… Unlike in steel–steel contacts, rolling friction can be considerable. (there is no article before rolling friction, so the comma is a must) n n n CONSISTENCY – READABILITY 45

who X that X which n n “who” – when referring to people. “that” – used for things, objects, events. n “everyone who” does things and “events that” happen. NOT “people that. . . ” but “people who. . . ”; NOT “everyone that. . . ” but “everyone who. . . ”, etc. n “which” introduces “extra” information (use a COMMA) n Fig. 4, which shows the profile of the asperity in the inlet, suggests that… Fig. 4, showing the…. , suggests that… n n “that” introduces information that is necessary to understanding the meaning/intent of the sentence. (NO comma) n This is a friction measurement instrument that provides fully automated traction mapping of fluids… 46

Punctuation – serial comma n n BASIC RULE: Always follow the pattern: A, B and/or C. Br. E: NO COMMA before conjunction. (But can be n used to prevent ambiguity/confusion. ) This energy is necessary for all body functions, including growth, movement and reproduction. n Am. E: Always A COMMA before conjunction. n This energy is necessary for all body functions, including growth, movement, and reproduction. 47

Other punctuation issues n n n n , etc. (less frequent in E) , for example (*, for example + , etc. ) , as well as…, Eliminate COLONS (: ), SEMICOLONS(; ) AND BRACKETS in your writing. : →→→. ; →→→. In the case of the frictional contacts, a friction coefficient of 0. 15 was assigned; however, it was found that its value does not affect the results significantly. In the case of the frictional contacts, a friction coefficient of 0. 15 was assigned, but its value did not affect the results significantly. LONG DASH: rare in T/S/A writing X Flow rates may be limited for many physiological reasons—including loss of elastic recoil—which need to be examined. Flow rates may be limited for many physiological reasons, including loss of elastic recoil, which need to be examined. SHORT DASH: for joining numbers 2000– 2010 June–August 48

Headings Heading style (words in capital letters). n Sentence style. n Consistency across all levels of headings! n n Captions for figures and tables are best left in sentence style. 49

Editing your writing – example 1 n Experimental apparatus ¨ *The experimental apparatus, which has been used for modelling of the cam and tappet contact under simplified conditions, is built of two separated units. The first unit is consisting of a conventional microscope, … ¨ The experimental apparatus used for the modelling of the cam-tappet contact (the cam and the tappet contact? ) under simplified conditions comprised two separate units. The first unit consisted of a conventional 50 microscope, …

Editing your writing – example 2 n Results and discussion ¨ *The main part of experiments in this study was focused on possible effect of shot peening on RCF. ¨ The main experiments in this study (focused on)/tested/investigated… the possible effect of shot peening on RCF. 51

Miscellaneous I n n "as" not used when meaning "because". "since" used only when referring to time, not when meaning "because". ¨ The set of new data entering each build typically includes all submissions received since the close of data in the previous build. "comprise st. " X "be composed of st. " ¨ The second model comprises three closely spaced exons. ¨ The second model is composed of three closely spaced exons. *It engages st. X It involves st. 52

Miscellaneous II "only": I only eat apples. I eat only apples. n "its": possessive pronoun (X it’s) n Use First, …. Second, … Third, …. X Finally, …. . n "cannot" – always spelt together n Avoid clichés such as *recent advances in… n 53

Sources Brown, Alison: Academic writing. Study and Learning Centre, RMIT University, 2007. http: //www. dlsweb. rmit. edu. au/lsu/content/4_Writing. Skills/writing_pdf/PG%20 Academic%20 Writi ng%20 Alison%20. pdf Peat, Jennifer: Scientific Writing: Easy When You Know How. London: BMJ Books, 2002. Print. Philpot, Sarah; Curnick, Lesley: Academic Skills: Reading, Writing, and Study Skills. OUP 2007 Štěpánek, Libor; Hradilová, Alena: Academic Writing in English: Course Materials. MU Language Centre, 2009. Štěpánek Libor, de Haaff, Janice, et al. : Academic English. Prague. Grada, 2011. Print. Yang, Jen Tsi: An Outline of Scientific Writing: For Researchers with English as a Foreign Languag e. Singapore: World Scientific, 1995. Print. n http: //www. ece. ucdavis. edu/~jowens/commonerrors. html n http: //www. cs. columbia. edu/~hgs/etc/writing-bugs. html n http: //www. westminster. edu/staff/brennie/writerro. htm n http: //www. ncbi. nlm. nih. gov/books/NBK 993/ n http: //www. ruf. rice. edu/~bioslabs/tools/reporterror. html n http: //www. sci. sdsu. edu/~smaloy/Microbial. Genetics/topics/scientific-writing. pdf n http: //www. english-zone. com/spelling/plurals. html 54

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