CHEMICAL PUNS Never trust an atom they make

CHEMICAL PUNS: Never trust an atom, they make up everything. However, it is ok to make chemistry puns periodically.

What is a Be+Ar-? A Polar Bear

What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a ninevolt in his car? He was stopped for assault and battery!

What results when a priest blesses an avocado? Holy Guacamole! What does this have to do with chemistry – it is a stretch but the mole is Avogadro’s number of units.

What are HIJKLMNO, (H 2 O)3(s), and CH 2 O? water (H to O), ice cubes, sea water

What is galvanized chicken wire ?

What is He. N(Zn. I)4 ? chicken tetrazzini (Note He. N)

Sing 2[Na. Cl](aq) C 7 Sailing, sailing over the seven seas [Na. Cl](aq) is a salt or saline solution.

H 2 O is water and H 2 O 2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H 2 O 4? What is Al. PO 4? DRINKING, SWIMMING, DOGS IRRIGATION, TRANSPORTATION

What is: CH 3 CH 2 O CH 3 CH 2 - is a propyl group purple people eater propyl people ether ?

What does a doctor try to do to his patients and what happens if the doctor is not successful? helium or curium, barium

The 3 rd most abundant gas in dry air is ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQSTUVWXYZ ?

What Do You Call Iron Blowing In The Wind? No, not a windmill!

What you might like to do to a big meanie. Platinum (Pt) (You think this is bad but just wait. )

What is Cu(NO 3)2? Overtime pay for a policeman! Copper nitrate (technically copper(II) nitrate or cupric nitrate) Cu(NO 3)2 3 H 2 O

A word for a funny prisoner - Silicon (Si) Told you it would get worse.

Who is 007's Eskimo cousin? Polar Bond (e. g. as in the bonds in water)

Fred yelled "CH 3 CF 3" when he saw his wife's dentist bill. Ethyl, try fluoride! CH 3 CF 3 is 1, 1, 1 -ethyltrifluoride Ethyl and Fred on I Love Lucy

Given the following names: cis-dichloroethylene trans-dichloroethylene What are ? Transistor, transparent and sis boom bah.

What does one trogen say to another on the way to bed? Nitrogen (N 2) You did not think it existed, did you? Trogen is in Switzerland.

What did one termite say to the other? Boron (B)

Sn 2+ ? DOU Sn 2+ is the symbol for the tin(II) ion which has the common name stannous. Therefore, the question above is Do You Understand Us?

Concentrations in chemistry are most commonly given in molarity or moles/L. What are the following? A 1 molar solution. A 2 molar solution.

If is isopropyl benzene, what is ? Mercedes Benz

The 3 dichlorobenzenes are para-dichlorobenzene ortho-dichlorobenzene meta-dichlorobenzene What are ? paradox orthodox metaphor

HCl. O 2(aq) is chlorous acid. What is HCl. O 2(aq), HCl. O 2(aq)?

A really pressing thing and the opposite of roofing. Iron (Fe) Fluorine (F)

The remaining slides will be considered by some to be politically incorrect or risque. Assume the responsibility if you choose to proceed on.

Cyclopropane is pictured to the right. What is the name of the structure below? Cycloprofane

When was the first Noble gas (the noble gases are also called the inert gases – He, Ne, Ar, Kr, Xe, Rn and perhaps Og) produced? In 1164 AD, after Alfonso II, King of Aragon, ate the first burrito. Disclaimer – the above might not be historically accurate. Actually, Sir William Ramsey with Lord Raleigh discovered many of the inert gases in the 1890’s. Helium had been observed in the sun in 1868 by the French astronomer Jules Janssen.

is hexachlorobenzene. What does the structure below represent? It is the world’s best oral contraceptive. Why? It says no in every position!