Chapter Eight Managing Interpersonal Conflict This multimedia product

Chapter Eight: Managing Interpersonal Conflict This multimedia product and its contents are protected under copyright law. The following are prohibited by law: - any public performance or display, including transmission of any image over a network; - preparation of any derivative work, including the extraction, in whole or in part, of any images; - any rental, lease, or lending of the program. Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Chapter Eight Goals l l l Identify the myths of interpersonal conflict Engage in interpersonal conflicts so that they result in strengthening, not weakening, your relationship Manage conflicts so that both parties emerge from the conflict more satisfied Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Definition of Interpersonal Conflict occurs when individuals… l l l Are interdependent Are mutually aware that their goals are incompatible Perceive each other as interfering with the attainment of their own goals Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Interpersonal Conflict Issues l l Goals to be pursued The allocation of resources Decisions to be made Behaviors that are considered appropriate Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Conflict and Interdependency Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Content and Relationship Conflicts l l Content conflicts center on objects, events, and persons, that are usually but not always, external to the parties involved Relationships conflicts center around the nature and meaning of the particular relationship Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Myths About Interpersonal Conflict l l l Conflict is best avoided. Time will solve the problem; it will all blow over If two people experience relationship conflict, it means their relationship is in trouble Conflict damages an interpersonal relationship Conflict is destructive because it reveals our negative selves—our pettiness, our need to be in control, our unreasonable expectations In any conflict, there has to be a winner and a loser. Because goals are incompatible, someone has to win and someone has to lose Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Principles of Interpersonal Conflict l l l Conflict can be positive or negative Conflict is influenced by culture and gender Conflict styles have consequences Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Conflict Can Be Negative or Positive aspects Negative aspects l Examines problem l Increased negative feelings l Work towards potential l Closes you off from the solution other person l Each states own l Leads to further conflict, needs/wants hurt, and resentment l Prevents hostilities and resentments from festering l Stabilizes relationship Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Conflict Is Influenced by Culture and Gender l Conflict and Culture: – – l Collectivistic cultures center conflicts on violations of larger group norms Individualistic cultures have conflicts when expected norms are violated Conflict and Gender: Research indicates different reasons for gender differences in regards to conflict Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Conflict Styles Have Consequences l l l Competing: I Win, You Lose Avoiding: I Lose, You Lose Compromising: I Win and Lose, You Win and Lose Accommodating: You Win, I Lose Collaborating: I Win, You Win Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Conflict Management Strategies Factors to consider l The goals you wish to achieve l Your emotional state l Your cognitive assessment of the situation l Your personality and communication competence l Your family history Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Avoidance and Fighting Actively l l Conflict avoidance may involve actual physical flight Nonnegotiation – Refusal to discuss – “Steamrolling” Force and Talk l l Force can be emotional or physical Instead of resorting to force, people should rely on talking and listening to manage conflict Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Defensiveness and Supportiveness l l l Evaluation Control Strategy Neutrality Superiority Certainty Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Face. Attacking l l l Strategies that attack a person’s positive face Beltlining Blame Face. Enhancing l l l Strategies that enhance positive face Confirm the other person’s self -image Listen supportively and actively Use I-messages that avoid blaming the other person Use excuses and apologies as appropriate Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Silencers and Facilitating Open Expression l l Listen actively and give appropriate feedback Verbalize your appreciation for how the other person sees the conflict Create or increase immediacy Give the other person permission to express himself or herself openly Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Gunnysacking and Present Focus l l Gunnysacking is the unproductive process of storing up grievances to unload when an argument arises. Instead: – – Concentrate on the here and now Focus on your conflict on the person with whom you’re fighting Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

Verbal Aggressiveness and Argumentativeness l l Verbal Aggressiveness: Inflicting psychological pain Argumentativeness: Willingness to argue your point of view Copyright © 2014, 2011, 2008 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved.

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