Chapter 9 Communicating in Friendships and Romantic Relationships

Chapter 9 “Communicating in Friendships and Romantic Relationships” Joe Pillizzi & Zac Pallissard

Initiating Relationships �Romantic Relationship Vs. Friendship • Is there a difference? �Most people are 100% open with your friends • You show your friends your true self

Initiating Relationships �At the beginning of a relationship with a romantic partner you don’t show them your “real self” • You tend to just show them the good parts of you

Initiating Relationships �No big talk without small talk • Even though some people hate small talk �With small talk you must be able to show others your interests • Uncertainty Reduction theory

Initiating Romantic Relationships �http: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=Oqps_- Qfn. OQ

Initiating Romantic Relationships �Flirting • What’s your best pick up line? (Troy) �Dating anxiety • Easier to get a sexual partner than a romantic long -term Relationship

Initiating Romantic Relationships �Go ahead test the waters! • Nonverbal flirting � 60% of all communication is nonverbal • 30% of communication is tone • So…. 90% of communication is “not the words coming out of your mouth” • Attraction Theory

Initiating Romantic Relationships �Non • • • Verbal Flirting Eye Contact Interpersonal distance Posture Gestures Facial Expressions Touch

Is Dating Dead �Is “Dating” dead • People our age are less intrigued with dating �Dating Vs. Hooking up �Usually Men initiate dates • Both sexes have double the amount of hooks ups than first dates • Men hook up first • Women date first �So is dating Dead?

Initiating Romantic Relationships �While in a relationship • Smart daters don’t tell at the beginning • But being too passive will ruin a relationship • So in order to have a successful relationship you must find a happy medium

Initiating Friendships �http: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=k 0 xgj. Uh EG 3 U

Initiating Friendships �Almost the same as initiating a intimate relationship • No flirting though �The most important thing is conversation • But most people still fear rejection

Initiating Friendships �You must start a conversation • If you don’t start a conversation the other person may think you don’t like them �It all starts, yet again, with small talk

Maintaining Relationships �Effective communication is essential in maintaining and improving relationships both romantic relationships and friendships • If the relationship or friendship is going well the communication satisfaction increases • The same goes if the relationship or friendship is going bad the communication satisfaction decreases

Maintaining Romantic Relationships through Communication �You need to be interested in your partner • Ask about their day • Encourage your partner to discuss deep thoughts and even the relationship �You got to be happy with your partner • Be cheerful and act happy

Maintaining Romantic Relationships �Be honest (sometimes) • ex. “do I look fat in this outfit? ” • http: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=n 8 e. R 4 m. DKH_c �Humor • Nicknames • http: //www. youtube. com/watch? v=Bymz. ZNywc. BY

Maintaining Friendships through Communication � Most conversations with friends • Most conversations last only 3 min. are small talk � Interestingly friends are usually friends with other people that have the same communication skills (or lack of) � Friends must be open, positive, and they must be able to listen (much like an intimate partner)

Maintaining Friendships �Some scholars believe that good conflict management is a vital part in relationships

Works Cited 1. 2. 3. http: //www. sirc. org/publik/flirt. html The Movie “Hitch” An Inductive Analysis of Relational Maintenance Strategies: Comparisons Among Lovers, Relatives, Friends, and Others 1. http: //people. uncw. edu/mcdaniela/maintenance. pdf 4. 5. http: //psycnet. apa. org/journals/dev/43/2/267/ http: //eric. ed. gov/? id=ED 099116