Chapter 8 Gendered Close Relationships gendered lives Chapter
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Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships gendered lives Chapter Eight: Gendered Close Relationships Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth 1
“The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. ” ~ Flora Whittenmore Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth
Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships The Meaning of Personal Relationships • Personal Relationships are Ones in Which Partners… § Depend on Each Other for Affection to § Are Interdependent Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth Microsoft Image Material Assistance 3
Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships The Meaning of Personal Relationships • Personal Relationships are Ones in Which Partners… § Expect Affection, Companionship, § Regard Each Other as Unique Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth Microsoft Image Energy, and Assistance 4
Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships Gendered Patterns in Personal Relationships • Male Deficit Model § Men Less Skilled in Developing and Sustaining Personal Relationships § Emotional Talk Hallmark of Intimacy § Men Less Intimate than Women Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth 5
Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships Gendered Patterns in Personal Relationships • Alternative Paths Model § Agrees That Socialization Root of M/F Differences in Styles of Relating § However, it Does not Presume that Men Lack Feelings or Emotional Depth § Men Do Express Closeness in Ways they Understand Value Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth 6
Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships Gendered Styles of Friendship • Similarities in Women’s and Men’s Friendships § Both Value Close Friends § Both Engage in Instrumental and Expressive Expressions of Closeness § Vary in Degree of Use Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth 7
Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships Gendered Styles of Friendship • Differences in Women’s and Men’s Friendships § Women Face-to-Face § Men Side-by-Side Microsoft Image Directly and Verbally Engage in Activities Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth 8
Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships Women’s Friendships: Closeness in Dialogue • Share Personal Feelings • Want to Know Each other In Depth • Communication Open and Expressive • Empathize and Feel Emotionally Connected • Explicit Talk about Relationship Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth 9
Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships Women’s Friendships: Closeness in Dialogue • Difficulty in Dealing with Envy and Competition • Difficulty Overriding Socialization to Be Constantly Available and Caring Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth 10
Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships Men’s Friendships: Closeness in the Doing • Activities Center of Friendships • Covert Intimacy • Often Limited in Scope Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth Microsoft Image • Instrumental Focus 11
Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships Friendship Between Women and Men • Often View Other in Sexual Terms • Sex-Segregation Socialization • Men Receive Greater Emotional Support • Women Receive Less Intense Companionship • Men Talk More, Demand More Attention and Support than They Offer Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth 12
Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships Gendered Romantic Relationships • Feminine Women and Masculine Men are Desirable • Men Should Initiate, Plan, and Direct Activities • Women Should Facilitate Conversation, Generally Defer to Men, but Control Sexual Behavior. • Men Should Excel in Status and Earning Money, Women Should Assume Primary Responsibility for Relationship, Home, and Children. Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth 13
Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships Developing Romantic Intimacy • Men Take the Initiative • Men Fall in Love Faster and Harder • Men See Love as Taking Trips to Romantic Places, Spontaneous Love Making • Women Think of Extended Conversations, Sharing Deep Feelings, Physical Contact • Gay Couples Likely to Have Best-Friend Relationships with Sex The Internet: Sex, Gender, and Relationships http: //www. cyberparent. com/gender/ Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth 14
Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships Engaging in Committed Relationships • Four Primary Dimensions of Love Relationships: § Modes of Expressing Affection § Gendered Responsibility for Relational Health § Gendered Power Dynamics Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth Microsoft Image § Gendered Preferences for Autonomy and Connection 15
Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships Modes of Expressing Affection • Conversations about Feelings and Daily Activities is Primary for Women • Women and Men often have Different Views of Intimacy § Women Express Intimacy with Self. Disclosure and Emotional Support. § Men Express Intimacy by Doing Things for Romantic Partner Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth 16
Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships Autonomy Masculine individuals typically want greater autonomy Connection Feminine individuals generally want greater connection Differences in desire for autonomy and connection can lead to problems Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth 17
Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships Responsibility for Relational Health • Women Viewed as Relationship Experts and Assume the Primary Burden • Expectations for Responsibilities Can Lead to Problems. § Greater Satisfaction When Shared • Lesbian Partners Tend to Be Most Equal Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth 18
Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships Gendered Power Dynamics • Masculine Socialization Creates Expectations of Male Dominance • Division of Labor Reflects Gendered Power Dynamics § Labor Divided Unequally in the Home § “Second Shift” Duties Typically Woman’s Responsibilities § Psychological Responsibility Increases Burdens of Second Shift Duties § Consequences of Second Shift Include Stress, Fatigue, Illness, and Resentment Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth 19
Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships Couples’ Patterns of Influence • Husbands’ Preferences and Desires Count More • In Conflict, Masculine Individuals More Typically Leave or Deny Problem • In Conflict, Feminine Individuals Initiate Discussion or Become Loyal to Partner Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth 20
Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships Patterns of Violence and Abuse • Violence Typically Inflicted by Masculine Individuals • Greater Incidence of Violence in Cultures with Male Dominance • A Feminine Orientation May Create Situations where Violence is Tolerated to Keep Relationships and Families Intact Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth 21
Chapter 8: Gendered Close Relationships gendered lives Copyright © 2005 Wadsworth 22
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