Chapter 8 16 Sexual Behaviors Common sexual behaviors

Chapter 8 & 16 Sexual Behaviors

Common sexual behaviors One person • Celibacy • Erotic dreams & fantasies • Masturbation More than one person • • • Kissing Touching Mutual masturbation Oral-genital stimulation Anal stimulation Penile-vaginal intercourse

Celibacy • Celibate: describes a physically mature person who does not engage in sexual behavior. • Complete celibacy: individual neither masturbates nor has sexual contact w/another person. • Partial celibacy: individual masturbates but does not have sexual contact w/another person.

Celibacy, (cont. ) • Reasons, or benefits: – religious, moral beliefs – waiting for the appropriate person – learning about other aspects of the self • During period of celibacy, can experience greater self-growth, focus on work-related/personal goals, friendships deepen, etc. – health considerations (pregnancy, STDs) – during substance abuse recovery (anxiety created in sexual relationships can precipitate a relapse) • Disadvantages: – lack of physical affection, intimacy

Erotic dreams • expression and exploration of desires • most males, 2/3 of females • nocturnal orgasm – Involuntary orgasm during sleep

8 -A Discussion question: Do you think sexual fantasies can be helpful to a relationship in any way? How? Under what circumstances, if any, do you think sexual fantasy might indicate a problem in a relationship? Consider the subject of fantasy, amount of fantasy, when fantasy occurs, etc.

Fantasy • 95% of men & women fantasize • Functions – source of pleasure & arousal – overcome sexual anxiety – acceptable expression of “forbidden desires”

Fantasy (cont. ) • Gender similarities & differences – Frequency, amount of variety is similar in men & women. – Some differences: • Active vs. passive role • Focus: more physical vs. more emotional • Group sex • Dominance/submission

Fantasy (cont. ) • Are fantasies helpful or hindering? – Most research says helpful – Cautions: • Does degree of fantasy hinder intimacy w/partner? • Acting out fantasies--are both partners comfortable w/it? • Guilt – Most threatening is fantasy about a friend or acquaintance – Can be healing in cases of sexual abuse

Masturbation HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE • Historically condemned – Rooted in Judeo-Christian views that saw only sex for procreation as moral – Erroneous health concerns: “The health soon becomes noticeably impaired; there will be general debility. . Next come sore eyes, blindness, stupidity, consumption, spinal affliction, emaciation, involuntary seminal emissions, loss of all energy or spirit, insanity, and idiocy--the hopeless ruin of both body and mind. ” (Wood & Ruddock, 1918) – Freud recognized that masturbation wasn’t harmful, but said that it led to “immature sexual development” – Roman Catholic church considers masturbation to be an "intrinsically and seriously disordered act. "

Masturbation some general info • Contrary to earlier cultural views, all research on masturbation indicates that it is harmless. • Women are more likely to masturbate in and after their 20 s than in adolescence. Why do you think this is the case? • Factors associated with greater likelihood and frequency of masturbation: – – – Living with a sexual partner Engaging in more frequent sexual activity with a partner Having more education contrary to Having more liberal views about sex popular stereotype… Viewing sexual pleasure as a goal Being Caucasian

Masturbation PURPOSES • Relieve sexual tension • Means of self-exploration – Can improve quality of sexual experiences w/a partner • Shared experience • Assists in physical relaxation

Masturbation techniques • Men – Commonly grasp penile shaft, using up-and-down motions (w/ or w/o lotion/lube) – Some rub against a mattress or pillow • Women – Wide variety of stimulation techniques – Most typical is manual stimulation of clitoris • Glans of clitoris is rarely stimulated directly--rather, through clitoral hood or labia minora – Contrary to what is often portrayed in pornography, most women do not use vaginal insertion to reach orgasm during masturbation (Hite study, 1976, 1. 5% of women used vaginal insertion) – Many women (and some men) enjoy vibrators during selfstimulation

Discussion question: What were you told about masturbation by your parents/other adults when you were a child? What would you want your own children to learn about masturbation? How would you talk to your child about masturbation at age 2? Age 5? Age 10?

Kissing • Lips and mouth have many nerve endings-therefore, very sensitive • Emotional expression behind kisses can range from tender/affectionate/familial (e. g. closed-mouth, on cheek) to overtly sexual (e. g. open-mouth, on erogenous zones) • Kissing is not culturally universal – No indication of kissing in highly erotic art of ancient Chinese and Japanese cultures – Some cultures consider kissing unhealthy and disgusting (e. g. Lepcha of Eurasia, the Chewa and Thonga of Africa, and the Siriono of S. America)

Touching • One of the first and most important senses that we experience as infants – Deprivation of touch in infants leads to stunted growth – Babies that received extra touching/massage showed improved neurological development, digestion, and sleep patterns • Erogenous zones are especially responsive to touch • Sexual touching of nonerogenous zones can enhance intimacy and arousal – Partners need to communicate about how and where they like to be touched b/c there is a great variety in personal preferences

Oral-genital stimulation • Can be done individually or (“ 69”) • Cunnilingus: oral stimulation of the vulva • Fellatio: oral stimulation of the penis and scrotum – Couples differ in their comfort level for into the mouth – Flavor of ejaculate varies person to person influenced by simultaneously ejaculation from and is dietary factors

Attitudes toward oral sex • Some people think the genitals are unsanitary b/c they are close to urinary opening and anus – Routine thorough washing of genitals w/soap and water is adequate for cleanliness • Some heterosexuals object to oral sex b/c they mistakenly believe it is a homosexual act • In general, frequency of oral sex is correlated w/ higher level of education & socioeconomic status. • Oral sex has become more common since 1950 s – “old days: ” oral sex rarely occurred before marriage, was considered more intimate than intercourse – Today: teens are more likely to have oral sex than intercourse-strategy to avoid intercourse and “technically” preserve virginity; also some mistakenly believe that they cannot contract HIV through oral sex

Anal stimulation • Anus has dense nerve endings--stimulation can be pleasurable for both men and women • Anal intercourse: some statistics – Approx. 25% of all adults have experienced anal intercourse at least once (1994 study) – 32% of college students in a women’s health class had experienced anal intercourse (2003 study) – Among gay men, anal stimulation is less common than oral sex and mutual masturbation.

Anal stimulation • Health issues – No vaginal contact immediately following anal contact (manual or intercourse)--can lead to vaginal infection – Analingus (oral stimulation of anus) can cause intestinal infection, STD’s – Anal intercourse is one of the riskiest of all sexual behaviors in terms of transmission of HIV (particularly for receptive partner) (HIV, other infections) • Special considerations: – Anal tissue is very delicate: lubricants and gentle insertion needed – Objects must have larger base than tip so object cannot slip past anal opening

Coitus and Coital Positions • Position variations – man or woman above – face-to-face, side-lying, rear entry For many more varieties on positions, go to www. sexinfo 101. com/sp_index. shtml

Coital Positions: things to consider • Ability of each partner to control tempo, angle, style of movement, and degree of penetration • Whether a position also allows manual stimulation (of clitoris, anus, etc. ) during intercourse • Emotional feeling of positions – Some positions can allow partners to enjoy being more aggressive or more passive – Some positions allow greater intimacy between partners • Physical abilities, level of energy required – Some positions require more muscular strength, more stamina; other positions can be more relaxing

Tantric sex • Focus is on spiritual enlightenment and shared intimacy • • – Begun in India around 5000 BC Sexual expression considered a form of spiritual meditation Involves control & delay of orgasm with focus on harmony with partner After penetration, thrusting is generally kept to a minimum, generating energy through subtle movements, such as muscle contractions Synchronized breathing, visualization, deep level of intimacy

Chapter 16 Less common Sexual Behaviors

What Constitutes “Less Common” Sexual Behavior? • Paraphilia: uncommon sexual expression – Sexual arousal or response depends on (often unusual) behavior not directly sexual in nature – Behaviors discussed in book represent extremes on a continuum • Paraphilias exist in many gradations from mild/infrequent behaviors to full-blown/frequent behaviors – Thought to occur more frequently in males • May be due to biases in reporting & prosecution – Are often clustered (engaging in one paraphilia increases likelihood of additional paraphilias) – Can become solitary & compulsive interference with relationships

Noncoercive vs. coercive paraphilias • Noncoercive paraphilias: – No coercion (force), by definition – May be a solo activity or may involve participation of consentual adults – No one’s basic rights are violated; therefore, considered harmless • Coercive paraphilias: – Involve participants who have not given consent – Can cause harm to targets • Targets may be traumatized psychologically

Four common noncoercive paraphilias Fetishism – Sexual arousal primarily from body part or inanimate objects. • For some people, sexual response can’t occur in absence of fetishized object; for others, object or body part enhances arousal but is not absolutely required. – Develops through classical conditioning • Fantasy and masturbation -- orgasm reinforces the association of pleasure w/the fetish. – Rarely harmful to others

Four common noncoercive paraphilias Transvestic Fetishism – Has strong elements of fetishism but clothing is actually worn (not just viewed or touched) – Different from cross-dressing-transvestic fetishism only applies when sexual arousal is derived from wearing clothes of other sex – Considered a disorder by the APA if person experiences significant psychological distress or impaired functioning as a result of behavior that has occurred for at least six months – Majority are male heterosexuals (often married)

Four common noncoercive paraphilias & Sexual Sadism & Sexual Masochism – sadism: sexual arousal from giving physical or psychological pain – masochism: sexual arousal from receiving pain – difficult to label because some behaviors are common • Being tied up, or “pinned down, ” “love bites, ” etc. – Level of pain needed for arousal varies from symbolic to mild pain to (rarely) severe pain – SM activities often include bondage and “discipline, ” motivated by a desire to experience dominance and/or submission rather than pain.

Other (less common) noncoercive paraphilias • autoerotic asphyxia – Individual (almost always male) uses oxygen deprivation to enhance arousal – Life-threatening (hanging, plastic bag suffocation, etc. ) • klismaphilia – Sexual pleasure from receiving enemas • coprophilia – Sexual pleasure from contact with feces • urophilia : – Sexual pleasure from contact with urine (“water sports” or “golden showers”)

Three common coercive paraphilias Exhibitionism-exposing genitals to unwilling other - not same as enjoying being nude/wearing sexy clothes – Usually men, • Often shy or insecure, frequently raised in atmospheres w/shameful attitudes toward sexuality – Development • • inadequacy & fear of rejection need to affirm manhood attention-seeking loss of ethical controls – some offenders commit more serious crimes – suggested response • calmly ignore it, distance yourself, and report it ASAP

Three common coercive paraphilias Obscene phone calls – sexual arousal from response to call (especially shocked or horrified response) – usually a shy, insecure male, suffering from strong feelings of inadequacy & insecurity – may be verbally abusive or threatening, though obscene callers rarely follow up w/physical attack. – suggested response • lack of overt reaction will deprive caller of pleasure and he’ll be unlikely to call again. • gently hang up, ignore re-call • screen calls; call tracing • report & ask for new number

Three common coercive paraphilias Voyeurism – observing others undressing or engaging in sexual activity, without their consent – Not the same as looking at porn/erotica – To be considered a paraphilia, voyeurism must be preferred to sexual relations w/a partner or must involved some risk (or both). – offenders often feel inadequate & lack socio-sexual skills – video voyeurism • Video cameras installed to invade privacy of unaware victims

Other Coercive Paraphilias • Other coercive paraphilias involving sexual arousal or pleasure from. . . – frotteurism: rubbing against unwilling victim • Fairly common--may go unnoticed – zoophilia: sex with animals • Commonly a tranistory experience for an adolescent to whom a partner is inaccessible or forbidden--most transition to adult sexual relations w/partners. – necrophilia: viewing or having intercourse w/ a corpse (very rare) • Appears to occur exclusively in males • Almost always manifest severe emotional disorders, hatred & fear of women common

Discussion question: What is the difference between sexual variation and sexual deviation? Who determines when the line has been crossed?

Discussion question: People are typically much less concerned about female exhibitionism than they are about male exhibitionism. For example, if a woman observed a man undressing in front of a window, the man might be accused of being an exhibitionist. However, if the roles were reversed and the woman was undressing, the man would likely be labeled a voyeur. What do you think of this sex-based inconsistency in labeling these behaviors?