Chapter 7 Sexual Boundaries Protecting Our Clients Copyright

Transference, Countertransference, and Sexual Boundaries • Positive Transference: Crushes – Don’t take it personally • Don’t be dismayed or flattered by a client’s innocent crush • Don’t diminish your warmth & friendliness • It is a sign that client trusts you – Don’t embarrass the client • No need to talk about crush with client • Crush will likely fade over time Copyright © 2011 Wolters Kluwer Health | Lippincott Williams & Wilkins

Transference, Countertransference, and Sexual Boundaries (cont’d) • Positive Transference: Crushes – Protect yourself from inappropriate clients • A crush is not “innocent” if client: • Touches you inappropriately • Makes a pass at you • Asks you for a date • Set firm limits with such clients & end session, if needed – Take care with boundaries • Don’t encourage crush by socializing with client out of office Copyright © 2011 Wolters Kluwer Health | Lippincott Williams & Wilkins

Transference, Countertransference, and Sexual Boundaries (cont’d) • Positive Countertransference: “Special” Clients – Warning signs • Feeling a client is exceptional & different from other clients • Wanting to rush into dating client • Thinking others wouldn’t understand “special” feelings shared • Sense that intensity of attraction justifies breaking rules – Treating a client differently from others & violating professional boundaries can be traumatizing for both parties – If tempted to take relationship further, consult a mental health professional Copyright © 2011 Wolters Kluwer Health | Lippincott Williams & Wilkins

Transference, Countertransference, and Sexual Boundaries (cont’d) • Dating an Ex-Client – Factors to consider: • Intensity of transference • Emotional stability of client & practitioner • Amount of time elapsed since therapeutic work – Check licensing laws in your state & ethical guidelines of your professional organization – If employed, adhere to employer’s policy Copyright © 2011 Wolters Kluwer Health | Lippincott Williams & Wilkins

Transference, Countertransference, and Sexual Boundaries (cont’d) • Dual Relationships – Can cause confusion with sexual boundaries, as boundaries are already blurred – Trades can make it difficult to maintain clear & clean boundaries – Practitioners doing emotionally oriented work or deep structural work should probably avoid trades for bodywork – Be cautious of working with people who belong to some “family” type group you are in (i. e. , religious or spiritual community) Copyright © 2011 Wolters Kluwer Health | Lippincott Williams & Wilkins

Transference, Countertransference, and Sexual Boundaries (cont’d) • Secrets – Desire for keeping secret something you are doing with a client is a sign you are headed for trouble – Get such secrets out in the open – Share secrets with teacher or consultant – It may be that there is nothing to worry about, but then again, you may need help with client before situation gets worse Copyright © 2011 Wolters Kluwer Health | Lippincott Williams & Wilkins

Clients Who Have Been Sexually Abused • Sexual abuse, especially by a family member, leads child to feel betrayed by & to mistrust an authority figure • May transfer feeling to practitioner & lack trust • May be hyper-alert to signs of danger or seduction • More likely to misread a careless word or gesture • Will likely have distorted sense of boundaries • Especially confusing when practitioner has also been sexually abused Copyright © 2011 Wolters Kluwer Health | Lippincott Williams & Wilkins

Clients Who Have Been Sexually Abused (cont’d) • Working With Clients Who Have Been Sexually Abused – With sexual abuse so common, you will likely work with someone who has experienced it – With client’s permission, consult with his or her psychotherapist – Suggest counseling for regular clients who seem depressed or self-destructive – Never attempt to delve into a client’s sexual abuse issues on your own – Educate yourself by reading relevant literature & attending workshops Copyright © 2011 Wolters Kluwer Health | Lippincott Williams & Wilkins

Clients Who Have Been Sexually Abused (cont’d) • Working With Clients Who Have Been Sexually Abused – Don’t push clients to remember past incidents of abuse – Stay sympathetic but objective • Don’t share your opinion or experience • Don’t criticize perpetrator – Make sure clients have a voice • Ask them repeatedly to let you know when anything you are doing makes them uncomfortable • Don’t dominate clients Copyright © 2011 Wolters Kluwer Health | Lippincott Williams & Wilkins

Other Cautions and Red Flags • Professional Appearance – No shorts, tank tops, & cleavage – Wear clean, neat, loose clothes that don’t draw attention to your body – Clients in some regions may find visible tattoos & unusual facial rings unprofessional • Language – Avoid suggestive or flirtatious language – Choose words carefully when talking about client’s body – Avoid all comments about how you think the client’s body looks aesthetically Copyright © 2011 Wolters Kluwer Health | Lippincott Williams & Wilkins

Other Cautions and Red Flags (cont’d) • Draping – Draping is always a good idea – In most massage licensing areas, it is the law – Underpants or briefs are a good idea for deep or emotional work • Disrobing – Clients need to dress & undress in private – Tell them they don’t have to undress at all, if uncomfortable – They should undress to their level of comfort – If necessary, explain how clothing will limit your ability to work, but let them know the decision is theirs Copyright © 2011 Wolters Kluwer Health | Lippincott Williams & Wilkins

Other Cautions and Red Flags (cont’d) • Locked Doors – Whether door was locked has been an issue in some court cases of a practitioner being sued for sexual harassment – Clients should be able to leave the room quickly & easily – Some practitioners like to lock the door to prevent unwanted intrusion of others during treatment – If you want to lock the door, explain why & request client’s permission Copyright © 2011 Wolters Kluwer Health | Lippincott Williams & Wilkins

Other Cautions and Red Flags (cont’d) • Intrusive Work – Some manual therapies involve work near client’s genitals, coccyx, or breasts – Inform client of where you will be working & why – Use terms they can understand: breastbone, tailbone – Obtain client’s permission before beginning session • Expressions of Affection – Don’t initiate hugs or kisses with clients – Respect clients’ personal space & let them be the ones to initiate Copyright © 2011 Wolters Kluwer Health | Lippincott Williams & Wilkins

Other Cautions and Red Flags (cont’d) • Unintentional Touching – Take care not to inadvertently touch the client with your body other than with your hands – Avoid leaning on or propping yourself against clients – If a technique requires additional contact or leaning on client, explain reason for contact & ask for client’s permission – Avoid wearing dangling sleeves & jewelry Copyright © 2011 Wolters Kluwer Health | Lippincott Williams & Wilkins