Chapter 6 Living Alone Cohabiting SameSex Unions and

Chapter 6 Living Alone, Cohabiting, Same-Sex Unions, and Other Intimate Relationships

Chapter Outline § § § Reasons for More Unmarrieds Singles: Their Various Living Arrangements Cohabitation and Family Life Same-sex Couples and Family Life Maintaining Supportive Social Networks and Life Satisfaction

Reasons for More Unmarrieds § § § Nearly all Americans say that our families are very important to us. Today’s “postmodern” family is characterized by a diversity of family forms. The Census Bureau defines “single” as being unmarried.

Reasons for More Unmarrieds § § In 1970, less than 28% of U. S. adults were single, today that number is about 44%. This change is due to a growing proportion of widowed elderly, a high divorce rate and young adults postponing marriage, along with a growing incidence of cohabitation.

Marital Status of U. S. Population

Marital Status of U. S. Population Source: U. S. Census Bureau 2012 c, Table 56.

Reasons for More Unmarrieds § Major reasons for more unmarrieds are due to several social factors: demographic, economic, technological, and cultural.

Demographic Changes § § § The sex ratio (number of men to women in a given society or subgroup) influences marital options and singlehood. Throughout the 19 th and early 20 th centuries, the United States had more men than women. Today this is reversed due to changes in immigration patterns and greater improvement in women’s health.

Demographic Changes § § In 1910 there were nearly 106 men for every 100 women. In 2010, there were about 97 men for every 100 women. Beginning with middle-age, there are increasingly fewer men than women. Sex ratio differs somewhat for various racial/ethnic categories.

Demographic Changes § § Expanded educational and career options for college-educated women have led many to postpone marriage. Middle-aged, divorced women with careers tend to view marriage as a bad bargain once they have gained financial and sexual independence.

Economic Changes § § The fact that many men’s earning potential has declined, relative to women’s, may make marriage less attractive to both genders. Growing economic disadvantage and uncertainty make marriage less available to many who might want to marry but feel they can’t financially afford it.

Technological Changes § § With effective contraception, sexual relationships outside marriage, without great risk of unwanted pregnancy, became possible. New conception technologies offer the possibility for planned pregnancy to unpartnered heterosexual women as well as same-sex couples.

Cultural Changes § § § It is now widely accepted that young people will have sexual intercourse before marriage. As American culture gives greater weight to autonomy, many find that singlehood is more desirable than marriage. Being unmarried has become an acceptable option, rather than the deviant lifestyle that it was once thought to be.

Cultural Changes § § § Cohabitation is emerging as a socially accepted alternative to marriage. Getting married is no longer the only way to gain adult status. Marriage has become less strongly defined as permanent.

Increase in Singlehood Results from: § § Low sex ratios Increasing educational and economic opportunities Technological changes Changing cultural attitudes

Singles: Their Various Living Arrangements § § Living Alone Together Living with Parents Group or Communal Living

Living Alone § § Individuals living alone make up over onequarter of U. S. households—up from 8% in 1940. The likelihood of living alone increases with age in all racial/ethnic groups and is markedly higher for older women than for older men.

Living Alone Together § § Living alone together (LAT): a couple is engaged in a long-term relationship but each partner maintains a separate dwelling. Difficult to ascertain number of these relationships, but it is clearly emerging in the U. S.

Living with Parents § § § The percentage of young adults living at home has increased dramatically since 2000. Reasons are both cultural and economic Boomerangers—adult children who had previously left home but then returned

Percent Living with their Parents, by Age, Sex, and Year

Group or Communal Living § § § Communes: situations or places characterized by group living Communal living is designed to provide enhanced opportunities for social support and companionship. Financial considerations and the desire for companionship encourage romantically involved singles to share households.

Co-housing § § Co-housing started in Denmark and spread to the United States in the early 1980 s. Co-housing complexes can be a way to cope with some of the problems of aging, unattached singlehood, or single parenthood.

Cohabitation and Family Life § § Cohabitation: Nonmarrieds living together One of the most important changes in family life in the past 40 years By 2008, an estimated 58 percent of 30 -to 44 -year-olds had lived with an opposite sex partner at some time in their lives—up from 33 percent in 1987 This trend is expected to increase.

§ Unmarried couples living together in the United States, 1960– 2008

A Closer Look at Diversity § § § The meaning of cohabitation varies along racial and ethnic lines. Puerto Ricans have a long history of consensual marriages. Exposure to other cultural systems changes norms of cohabitation acceptance.

Cohabitating § § § On average, cohabiting relationships are relatively short-term. Half last less than one year, because the couple either break up or marry. Cohabiting men with intentions to marry their partner do more housework than other cohabiting males.

Cohabitation as an Alternative to Both Unattached Singlehood and Marriage § § Most people start living together so they can spend more time with their partner. Some view living together as an alternative to dating or unattached singlehood (uncommitted cohabitors). Others view it as an alternative to marriage (committed cohabitors). People’s reasons for living together include the belief that marriage signifies loss of identity or stifles partners’ equality and communication.

The Cohabiting Relationship § § § Cohabitors are less homogamous Twice as likely to be interracial Compared to married women, cohabiting women are more likely to earn more and be several years older than their partner Relatively short-term Cohabitors pool their finances to a lesser extent

The Cohabiting Relationship § § § Less likely to say they are happy with their relationships Find their relationships less fair Higher incidence of depression Place greater importance on sexual frequency Have more sex outside the relationship

The Cohabiting Relationship § § Relationship quality of “long-term” cohabiting couples (together for at least 4 years) differ little from marrieds in conflict levels, amount of interaction, or relationship satisfaction For both marrieds and long-term cohabitors, relationship satisfaction declines with the addition of children to the household.

Cohabitation and Intimate Partner Violence § § More intimate partner violence among cohabitators than among marrieds Prominent selection effect exists

As We Make Choices: Some Things to Know about the Legal Side of Living Together § § § § § Domestic Partners Residence Bank Accounts Power of Attorney for Finances Credit Cards Property Wills and Living Trusts Healthcare Decision Making Children Breaking Up

Cohabitating Parents and Outcomes for Children § § Between 10 and 20% of all births occur to a cohabiting mother. Perhaps half or more are planned. 38% of cohabiting heterosexual households contain children under age 18. Having a child while cohabiting does not necessarily increase a couple’s odds of staying together, but conceiving a child during cohabitation and then marrying before the baby is born does increase union stability.

Percentage of children under age 18 in each of four U. S. household types, 2010.

Children’s Outcomes § § Instability with cohabitation is related to problematic outcomes for children. Cohabiting parents spend less on their children’s education than do marrieds. Adolescents are more likely to experience earlier premarital intercourse, higher rates of school suspension, and antisocial and delinquent behaviors. Compared to single-parent homes, children do benefit economically.

Same-Sex Couples and Family Life § § § There are between 500, 000 and 600, 00 samesex couple households in the U. S. In the absence of access to legal marriage, partners may publicly declare their commitment in ceremonies among friends or in some congregations and churches. Gallup polls have shown a gradual increase (from 34% in 1983 to 57% in 2008) in agreement with the idea that being gay or lesbian is an “acceptable alternative lifestyle. ”

The Same-Sex Couple’s Relationship § § Same-sex partners highly value love, faithfulness, and commitment (like heterosexual couples). More equality and role sharing than in heterosexual marriages Same-sex couples must daily negotiate their private relationship within a heterosexual (often heterosexist) world. Discrimination adds stress and may result in lowered mental health and relationship quality.

Facts about Families: Same-Sex Couples and Legal Marriage in the U. S. § § § Lawsuits DOMA Constitutional Amendment

Same-Sex Parents and Outcomes for Children § § § 2008 Census survey found 31% of same-sex couples who identified themselves as married and 17% of other same-sex households now include children under age 18. Children of gay male and lesbian parents are generally well adjusted, with no noticeable differences from children of heterosexual parents in cognitive abilities, behavior, or emotional development. No evidence that children are confused about their gender identity or that they are more likely to be homosexual.

Lesbian Couples § Lesbian couples may take advantage of AID (artificial insemination by donor) technology so that one partner gives birth to a baby they both want.

The Debate over Legal Marriage for Same-Sex Couples § § Scholars predict that same-sex marriage will be legal across the United States soon. 57% favor allowing same-sex couples to enter into legal agreements, such as civil unions and domestic partnerships, that would give them many of the same rights as married couples. 52% favor and 42% oppose allowing gays and lesbians to adopt children. About half of Americans support same-sex marriage.

Arguments for Legal Marriage as Heterosexual Only § § § Not all religions oppose legal same-sex marriage. The Mormon and Catholic churches, the National Association of Evangelicals, and Islam and Orthodox Jewish congregations oppose legal same-sex marriage. On the other side are Unitarians, the United Church of Christ, the Union for Reform Judaism, the Soka Gakkai branch of Buddhism and dissident groups of Mormons, Catholics, and Muslims.

Arguments for Legal Marriage as Heterosexual Only § § For religious fundamentalists and other conservative groups, the move to legalize marriage is an “attempt to deconstruct traditional morality. ” Those who favor legal marriage as only heterosexual are more likely to value traditional gender roles and live in communities in which those values are reinforced.

Arguments for Legal Marriage as Heterosexual Only § § § They claim heterosexual marriage has deep roots in history, and in Judeo-Christian traditions. They claim legalizing same-sex marriage would weaken marriage. Argue that legal marriage is unnecessary given civil unions, which gives virtually all the rights of marriage to same-sex couples.

Arguments for Legal Same-sex Marriage § § Same-sex families comprise a family form that is not going to disappear; if marriage is thought to be good for spouse and children emotionally, financially, and healthwise, then to deny those benefits to a significant number of individuals is unethical and socially costly. Denying lesbians and gays the right to marry legally violates the U. S. Constitution because it discriminates against a category of citizens.

Arguments for Legal Same-sex Marriage § § Children of gay male or lesbian couples also view the legalization of same-sex marriage as giving them security and comfort. Gay men and lesbians themselves have been divided somewhat on the desirability of legalized same-sex marriage.

Maintaining Supportive Social Networks and Life Satisfaction § § For singles, it’s important to develop and maintain supportive social networks of friends and family. Single people place high value on friendships, and they are also major contributors to community services and volunteer work.

Maintaining Supportive Social Networks and Life Satisfaction § § Life satisfaction is associated with income as well as marital status. People in secure interpersonal heterosexual or same-sex relationships, and those who socialize often with friends and family, are happier than those who spend considerable time alone.

Maintaining Supportive Social Networks and Life Satisfaction § § Continuum of living arrangements Living alone can be lonesome. However, living alone does not necessarily imply a lack of social integration or meaningful connections with others. A crucial part of one’s support network involves valued friendships.