Chapter 6 Early Adulthood Module 6 3 Social

Chapter 6: Early Adulthood Module 6. 3 Social and Personality Development in Early Adulthood Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

SOCIAL AND PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT IN EARLY ADULTHOOD Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Developmental Tasks of Early Adulthood • Let’s look at Table 6. 4 to review these tasks 346 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Table 6 -4 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

INTIMACY, LIKING, AND LOVING DURING EARLY ADULTHOOD FORGING RELATIONSHIPS 345 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

What makes young adults happy? • Happiest memories = psychological needs rather than material needs satisfied • Unhappiest memories = basic psychological needs left unfulfilled • Culture influences which psychological needs are most important in determining happiness 347 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

What makes us tick? Social Clocks of Adulthood • Definition • Cultural influence • Helson’s research (women’s social clock, deciding whether to pursue a career first or family first) 347 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Seeking Intimacy: Erikson’s View of Young Adulthood INTIMACY-VERSUS-ISOLATION STAGE Intimacy = Close, intimate relationship with others Isolation = Feelings of loneliness and fearful of relationships 348 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Friendship • Important part of adult life need for belonging • Filters • Personal qualities 348 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

The Friends We Choose 348 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Falling in Love: When Liking Turns to Loving How does love develop? 348 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Falling in Love • STIMULUS-VALUE-ROLE (SVR) THEORY (Murstein) – Stimulus stage – Value stage – Role stage 349 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Passionate and Companionate Love: Two Faces of Love • PASSIONATE (ROMANTIC LOVE) • COMPANIONATE LOVE 349 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

LABELING THEORY OF PASSIONATE LOVE If it hurts…it really love? How do you know? 349 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

LABELING THEORY OF PASSIONATE LOVE If you label negative emotions as positive (jealousy, rejection, etc) and pair them to feelings of passion or love, then the strong physiological arousal and reaction lead to misperception that you are in love, and that the behavior of the other was indications of love. 349 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Attachment and Love Romantic Love • Also called passionate love or eros – Complex intermingling of emotions – Strong components of sexuality and infatuation – Often predominates early part of a love relationship • Affectionate love or companionate love – Have deep, caring affection for person Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory: Three Faces of Love • Robert Sternberg – Intimacy – Passion – Decision/Commitment 350 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Attachment and Love Sternberg’s Triarchic Theory of Love • Theory that love includes three types – Passion: physical, sexual attraction – Intimacy: warmth, closeness, and sharing – Commitment: intent to remain together Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Sternberg’s Triangle of Love Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Fig. 10. 12 Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Do as I say…not as I do! • Relatively high number of people report close friend of a different race • Relatively low number actually name someone of another race or ethnicity 351 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Choosing a Partner: Recognizing Mr. or Ms. Right Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Seeking a Spouse: Is Love All That Matters? • U. S. – love as a major factor • In other cultures, love may be a secondary – Emotional maturity, health, similar education, chastity 351 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Filtering Models of Mate Selection • Louis Janda and Karen Llenke-Hamel – Broad determinants of attractiveness – Specifics – End result 353 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved. 353

Do you think you will use the principle of homogamy to select a mate? Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

What happens when the marriage gradient faces the cougar? Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Attachment Styles and Romantic Relationships • Infant attachment style is reflected in adult romantic relationships (Shaver) – Secure – Avoidant – Anxious-ambivalent 353 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Developmental Diversity Gay and Lesbian Relationships: Men with Men and Women with Women • Research findings suggest that gay and lesbian relationships are quite similar to relationships between heterosexuals • Most gays and lesbians seek loving, long-term, and meaningful relationships that differ little qualitatively from those desired by heterosexuals 355 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Should marriage be a legal option for lesbians and gays? Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Review and Apply REVIEW • According to Erikson, young adults are in the intimacy-versus-isolation stage. • Types of love include passionate and companionate love. Sternberg’s triangular theory identifies three basic components (intimacy, passion, and decision/commitment). 356 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Review and Apply REVIEW • In general, the values applied to relationships by heterosexual, gay, and lesbian couples are more similar than different. 356 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Review and Apply APPLY • Consider a long-term marriage with which you are familiar. Do you think the relationship involves passionate love or companionate love (or both)? What changes when a relationship moves from passionate to companionate love? From companionate to passionate love? In which direction is it more difficult for a relationship to move? Why? 356 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

THE COURSE OF RELATIONSHIPS Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Are you a POSSLQ? Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

To Marry or Not to Marry: That is the Question 356 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Why do people choice cohabitation rather than marriage? • Not ready for lifelong commitment • “Practice” for marriage • Reject institution of marriage 357 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Why marry? • Preferred alternative during early adulthood • Desirability of spouse roles • Legitimatization of children • Legal benefits and protections 357 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Why do people wait? 358 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

What makes marriage work? • Successful married partners: – Show affection – Communicate relatively little negativity – Perceive themselves as interdependent – Experience social homogamy, similarity in leisure activity. and role preferences – Hold similar interest – Agree on distribution of roles 358 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Why? Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

But the news is not all bad! Most married couples: – View early years of marriage as deeply satisfying – Find themselves more deeply in love than before marriage – Report newlywed period as one of happiest in entire married life 358 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Parenthood: Choosing to Have Children • Statistics • Costs • Reasons Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved. 359

What produced the decline in the US fertility rate? • Availability of more reliable birth control methods • Increasing numbers of working outside the home • Choosing to have children later • Cost of raising and educating children • Fear of not being good or accessible parent 359 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Dual-Earner Couples Working Parent Statistics and Distribution of Chores Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved. 360

Two’s a Couple, Three’s a Crowd? • Dramatic shift in spouse's roles • Challenges to marital satisfaction • Successful coping 360 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Gay and Lesbian Parents • About 20% of gay men and lesbian women are parents – No difference in psychological adjustment from children raised in heterosexual homes – Specialization of roles develop • For children, no differences in terms of eventual adjustment from those raised in heterosexual households 361 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Singlehood • Statistics • Rationale • Societal view 361 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

From Research to Practice Majority of American Women Are Living Without Spouse • What do the numbers say? • What do the numbers mean? 362 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Something to ponder… Why do you think that women are less inclined to remarry after a divorce than men are? Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Review and Apply REVIEW • Cohabitation is an increasingly popular option for young adults, but most still choose marriage. • Divorce is prevalent in the United States, particularly within the first 10 years of marriage. 363 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Review and Apply REVIEW • Couples overwhelmingly desire to produce children, although the availability of contraception and changes in women’s roles in the workplace have combined to decrease average family size. 363 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Review and Apply APPLY • In what ways do you think cognitive changes in early adulthood (e. g. , the emergence of postformal thought and practical intelligence) affect how young adults deal with questions of marriage, divorce, and childrearing? 363 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

WORK: CHOOSING AND EMBARKING ON A CAREER Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Why Do People Work? • Motivation – Extrinsic – Intrinsic • Personal identity • Status 366 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

What is the status of…? • What is the status of the career you hope to enter? • Were you surprised? 366 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Satisfaction on the Job • Satisfaction related to job status • Worker satisfaction also associated with: – Nature of job – Amount of input one has into one’s duties – Influence employees have over others 367 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

The Informed Consumer of Development Choosing a Career: Beginning Guidelines • • • Systematically evaluate a variety of choices. Know yourself. Create a “balance sheet, ” “Try out” different careers through paid or unpaid internships. Remember that if you make a mistake, you can change careers. It is reasonable to expect that careers may change throughout life. 368 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Review and Apply REVIEW • Choosing a career is an important step in early adulthood. • Gender stereotypes are changing, but women still experience subtle prejudice in career choices, roles, and wages. • People work because of both extrinsic and intrinsic motivation factors. 369 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.

Review and Apply APPLY • If Vaillant’s study were performed today on women, in what ways do you think the results would be similar to or different from those of the original study? 369 Discovering the Lifespan - Robert S. Feldman Copyright © 2009 Pearson Education, Inc. , Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All rights reserved.